fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2478 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2478 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[rune factory 4]

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[Law & Order]

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[Wander Over Yonder]

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[Breaking Bad]

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[Transformers: IDW Generation One]

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(Panic! at the Disco)

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[Luke Evans as Bard the Bowman in "The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug"]

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[league of legends pro teams - team curse]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 027 secrets from Secret Submission Post #354.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So, none of the usual ways people meet potential partners seem to be options for me anymore. I am long out of school, my social circle has remained static for years, and I work for a very small business with very little turn-over and my male co-workers are all - seriously - taken or gay. I've actually told people I wouldn't mind being introduced to/set up with someone, but either nobody knows anyone appropriate or isn't keen on going to the effort.

A ton of people have told me to try internet dating, but exactly none of them have ever tried it themselves. (Of course, they are quick to tell me how their cousin's friend's hair-dresser's neighbor did it and totally met someone awesome right away!) The one person I know who has tried dating online spoke pretty disparagingly of it (although I suspect he had unrealistically high expectations).

I've read various lists of tips in an attempt to decide whether to try and if so, how to go about it. This hasn't given me a lot of confidence, either, since the recommendations include things like "Get a second phone just for dating so no one has your real number until you feel you can trust them" which 1) I can't afford, and 2) the implication that I am inviting attention from dangerous creeps isn’t exactly a point in favor of online dating. Then there's the people who talk about how they had to go on, like, 100 first dates before they met someone they wanted to see again. The whole thing sounds like a HUGE amount of work and fairly dangerous to boot. Given that my alternatives seem to be either cruising bars (also a lot of work and potentially dangerous) or waiting around for some out-of-the-blue, rom-com-style "meet cute" event to occur, which is a laughably poor strategy.

I guess what I'm asking is, have you tried dating online and would you recommend it? Among sites available in the US, which would you recommend? What do you do when people you're not interested in contact you? Do I really need to be so concerned about dangerous creeps?

Related problem: I have no good recent pictures of me. Literally everyone I know is a really shitty photographer. Are blatant selfies acceptable or a total no-go?

I've tried internet dating myself. It's... hit or miss. Okcupid can be promising (and it's the one I use) but I personally have a hard time getting people to fucking respond. The last time anyone messaged me it was some fucking deaf-groupie in New York telling me to be more deaf. :| Obviously your results may vary.

And Craigslist is where you go when you want someone to play xbox with (or sell a TV) and only find people into knives and watersports. I'd avoid unless you're absolutely desperate.

Basically it's like regular dating. Some people have a hard time, others don't. Give it a try, I say.

BTW, since everyone else does blatant selfies (seriously, look at okcupid, everyone does it, myself included) I don't think you have to worry.

I've done it and it's not that bad? I've met some cool people and, while nothing that ended up panning out into a relationship, that's probably as much on me as anything. [I ended up moving and I'm pretty bad at keeping up with my profile/looking.]

What site really depends on what you're looking for exactly. If you only want free, OKCupid is the way to go - but from what I've Chemistry is pretty good if you want paid sites, plus it's far less likely to have people who are just looking for a hook up.

Just ask Chard! ^_^

Just know your potential diamond is buried in some shit. As a girl though, your more likely to get responses... including unwanted ones.

Hey, Anon (hope this isn't too late of a reply!), I have two friends who went the internet dating route. One of them used match.com and met the guy she married on the first try. (Granted, it was a pretty whirlwind romance type of thing, and I think both of them had very specific goals when they joined the service.) She swears by the site now, of course.

My other friend had a slightly less easy time, but a happy ending. I don't know which service she used, but she met three or four guys (I forget which). One of them was sweet and kind, but she didn't feel they had any romantic chemistry, so she broke it off; one of them was a little overbearing and wasn't happy when she ended things, and apparently keeps pestering her to add him on LinkedIn (which is weird); and one of them ended up being perfectly suited for her, and they're now engaged.

So for both my friends, it was a happy ending, with a few bumps along the way. Good luck, Anon!

[ SECRET POST #2478 ]

Internet dating - worth a try? (kind of tl;dr)

Re: Internet dating - worth a try? (kind of tl;dr)

Re: Internet dating - worth a try? (kind of tl;dr)

Obviously I'm for

Re: Internet dating - worth a try? (kind of tl;dr)