[ SECRET POST #2489 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2489 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 058 secrets from Secret Submission Post #356.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Cocaine use/withdrawal symptoms

[(Anonymous)]

So, I'm writing a fic where I have to depict the symptoms of both cocaine use and cocaine withdrawal (three guesses what fandom it's in, lol). I've been researching on the internet (trying to find reputable sources), but I'd also like to ask here, because there's nothing quite like getting an answer from a real person who has done really extensive research or has familiarity with the issue through their job/life experiences or has observed these symptoms first- or second-hand.

So...yeah. Hope this isn't rude or insensitive, but I'd like to know if anyone wants to help me out!

Re: Cocaine use/withdrawal symptoms

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry in advance because this might not be any help at all.

I smoked crack and only snorted coke when I was desperate for a high. It didn't do much for me but helped take the edge off the worst of the cravings.

Withdrawal when I was still using was different from withdrawal when I got clean. When I was still using, I was wreck in between highs and would dig at my skin to feel something to distract me from the cravings. I don't remember every having the shakes then but my memory can't be trusted for that time. I do remember crawling on the floor digging through the carpet looking for any traces of cocaine -cooked or not - that might have fallen to the floor. Same with wood and cement floors; sorting through piles of dust and dirt looking for any trace of drug to snort or cook and then smoke.

Withdrawal when I got clean was worse somehow, mainly because I knew I wasn't going to get any relief from it like I did from withdrawal in between highs. It was physically and mentally painful. I had the shakes and couldn't think straight. Everything about my body and mind and surroundings felt wrong and surreal. My muscles all hurt and I got headaches a lot (not migraines as I have heard some say, so I guess it varies). I also got sick every time I ate for the first few days. Some of it was direct result of detox and some was because my body wasn't used to so much food because I ate so little when I was using.

I was in rehab for two weeks and after about a week my physical need for the drug was gone. But mentally things got worse because so many people were there against their will and were always talking about getting high when they got out. It made dealing with the mental withdrawal harder and it was impossible to keep the resolve to stay clean. It was also really hard to deal with not being able to smoke cigarettes except 4 times a day during scheduled smoking breaks; the withdrawal from nicotine hurts more than withdrawal from coke in any form and most drug experts warn not to limit addicts' access to nicotine when they first kick drugs. There is a proven lower rate of success for addicts who aren't allowed to smoke or are severely restricted from nicotine access during detox.

I actually ran away from the rehab after two weeks because I couldn't cope without nicotine on top of not getting high and hearing all the involuntary patients talking about getting high all the time. I was there voluntarily so I didn't get into any legal trouble but it made finding a private drug rehab counselor really difficult because no one would work with me. My running away was viewed as a sign I wasn't serious about recovery. I was without professional help or guidance for most of the first 6 months I was in recovery. It is because of my supportive and caring family that I stayed clean then, and they raised money during that time to send me to a private rehab where I finally got the help I needed.

While I was there I learned that there was a medication for coke addicts that makes detox safer and more bearable, kinda like methadone for heroin addicts. But public rehabs (in the early 2000s; might have changed since then) weren't allowed to prescribe it because the FDA or some such government agency that has authority for federal funding to hospitals said it wasn't necessary because it's rare that coke addicts die during detox.

Sorry if this isn't any help since I was a crack user and it's not exactly the same. I hope something here can help a little, though. And sorry, but I'm not really comfortable answering further questions because this brought up more memories than I was prepared for. That's actually a good thing but I'm not ready to have any more surface right now.