Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2013-11-02 03:35 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2013-11-02 03:35 pm
[ SECRET POST #2496 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2496 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 071 secrets from Secret Submission Post #357.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: bad roommates thread
Lessee. This one's a little complicated. I was 18, and my then-fiance was living with mutual friends. 3 adults in the house, 2 children. My dad was becoming increasingly more abusive after I said I needed to take a break from college. I'd been going for 2yrs at that point, but realized that the major I was in was mostly good for teaching only, and I ... didn't want to teach. So, I wanted to take a break, get a job, work on my writing, and go back later once I'd figured out better what I wanted to do, rather than wasting my parent's money (never mind the college loans I would probably have to take out). Dad took this as a personal offense, because he wanted to teach.
So, my ex fiance was doing child care for the household he now lived in, and as the situation was getting to the point where I was nearly suicidal, we arranged something with said mutual friends for me to do housework in lieu of rent.
My ex needed medical care though, so I kept searching for work, and eventually got a job, which resulted in permanent injury to my legs. My ex was turning abusive, and he and I broke up, and he got asked to leave. I ended up involved with said mutual friends. And that's about where things went to hell.
See, at that point, they had invited 2 additional people to live in the house, people that my then-gf owed her life to (quite literally). The house was full of cockroaches, hundreds. The children didn't have chores. My ex gf and bf were huge slobs, and so was one of the people who moved in. While injured to the point I couldn't walk, I was expected to clean up after everyone. I was also expected to be looking for work, which I was, but my ex gf told me flat out I must not actually be looking for work because when she was my age, she could get a job in 3wks if she tried hard enough.
Nobody bothered to clean up after themselves. If I cleaned, it was trashed within hours. I was accused of lying about cleaning because, well, if I had then it wouldn't be a mess. Never mind that it was flat-out impossible to keep a house clean with 3 incredibly slobby adults and 2 children who were never expected to clean up after themselves either. I ended up with a lot of verbal and emotional abuse due to that, and finally ended up breaking things off and moving out. It was a fucking nightmare. That was probably about ten years back now.
My married partner and I recently (well, kinda - almost a year now!) kicked out a now decidedly ex friend for the massive amount of shit he pulled. He had health issues when he moved in but he was somehow always able to pull off things that there is no way in hell that I could ever manage, but only for other friends, or fun stuff he wanted to do. When he moved in, it was under the agreement that he would do household cleaning in exchange for room & board. Towards the end, he accused us of being abusive and manipulative when he did two dinners, a load of laundry, and the catboxes, in a week. According to him, we were expecting too much.
Mind, we told him repeatedly that if he was having health issues and couldn't get something done, like the dishes, we'd do it. But he would outright yell and scream at us if we did the dishes or laundry because it had been 3 days and he had yet to do them. According to him, doing it ourselves meant that we didn't trust him, and that it was offensive to him to indicate that we didn't think he could do the job on his own.
He was also a hoarder and the majority of our house was kept in such a fashion that we had literally one foot across pathways through most of the house. If we tried to clean this up, we got yelled at because we were moving his stuff, and he needed these things where they were. Sometimes, we got yelled at for going through and putting away bags of groceries that he left in the middle of the kitchen floor and never put away. It was just ridiculous.
And I'll admit to having let it go on too long because he was a master gaslighter. He knew I was scared of being like my exes in regards to the house stuff, so he would accuse me of being like them in order to get his way. We found out, too, that he was faking at least some amount of his health issues. A mutual friend flew out from Florida (now my girlfriend and living with us :) to help us get the house situated. She noticed that he was perfectly capable of helping her clean, or doing cleaning on his own, or going through stuff... until my partner or I stepped in the room, at which point he would pretend to be too sick to do anything. I snuck downstairs at one point, not believing this, while she was helping him with some stuff. He didn't hear me. I watched him moving at a jaunt, picking stuff up, hauling boxes around, talking to her, sounding upbeat and excited, not stressed at all, not breathing hard like he was having difficulty.... until he turned around and saw me, at which point, he wobbled and pretended to collapse, and suddenly was no longer capable of doing work of any kind.
I have health issues myself which are incredibly disabling, so needless to say, I was fucking pissed. We caught him doing this a couple more times, and it was just infuriating.
Re: bad roommates thread
Re: bad roommates thread
So fucking glad to be rid of him.
Re: bad roommates thread
(Anonymous) 2013-11-03 06:21 pm (UTC)(link)Re: bad roommates thread