fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2502 ]

[ SECRET POST #2502 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2502 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

14. [SPOILERS for Battlestar Galactica 2003]

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15. [SPOILERS for the Snowpiercer]

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16. [SPOILERS for Gravity]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #357.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 2 3 4 - pretty sure these are ancient repeats ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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So today I had one of my (ever increasing) "Oh... no...." moments. (My midtwenties seem to be full of them, and I am not liking this.)

Today my moment was realizing that in the near future, I will be older than my dead mother. (I just... I really can't. She's dead by her own hand, but it was an accident, and she loved me, and I just really can't.)

(My previous one was realizing my adoptive parents were getting too old to work. As in, they were becoming elderly.)

What was your recent "Oh... no..." moment, F!S?

Sorry about your mother, OP. Life really sneaks up on you. I'm mostly worried about my parents getting old and they have health problems. And last week somebody said that my older sister looked way younger than me. That was the kicker.

The realisation that it doesn't matter whether I get my life back on track or not because we're all going to be dead in the end anyway.

This.

Parents just told me I can't go to university unless I get a scholarship. I ... don't really know if I can make that happen. I'm working really hard but I'm fighting against my own laziness and natural dumbness and the chances of it happening look really really low right now.

That's how I felt last week. When my mom was my age, her father died. I can't imagine being this age and losing my father the way she did. (My grandfather died only a week after I was born).

I lost my mom last year and she'd lost her dad at around the same time (she was seven years older than me). Thinking about how she managed to survive that and remain there for me and my five siblings simultaneously helps and hurts.

I am so sorry about your mother OP!

This year it is 11 years since my cousin got killed, next year I will have lived longer without her than with her.

And it fucking sucks, because she was the better one of us* and I am growing up trying to get an education and life goes on... But I know my family looks at me sometimes and thinks there should have been two of us and that what she would be doing would probably be a lot more productive than what I am doing.

*She wasn't without faults tho, just a lot nicer than me, she would most certainly spend her life helping people and having children and an "A4" life, and I am just sitting here in my corner studying film and dating a girl... ~~awesome girl though! Really awesome, but still something that sets me apart from my family~~

Realizing that, even if I did manage to lose a fair amount of the 100+ extra pounds I'm carrying around, I'm probably past the point where my skin would go back on its own, and I'd still probably have to have surgery to not have fatless skinflaps all over my body.

Realizing that at 31, I will never be able to do any of the extreme things I always wanted to do like skateboarding and parkour. I'm not fit enough now, and by the time I am (if I ever am) I'll just be too old.

Are you me?

I'm 29 with a good extra 100 on me, and recently had a knee injury, so I'm attempting to lose some of the weight to lessen the strain on the poor joints, but...yeah, I mean, my skin's not as elastic as it used to be, and I don't actually hate the appearance of my body but I'm terrified that I'm going to once I start getting flappy skin bits. And I really can't afford the cosmetic surgery to get that taken care of.

AYRT
It feels exceedingly vain and superficial to say I'm terrified that that's what'll happen and I'll just be grossed out by my body (whereas now I'm just disappointed in it), but...yeah, I'm kind of terrified.

It's my dream to get a steady career and own a house (I've been saving for a deposit for /years/)

and I have a friend who's always laughed at it or joked about it or otherwised dismissed my desire for a house and career

She get's a boyfriend and suddenly she wants a career (gets it) and wants to own house (and they can get loans in the $900k range and I'm just me on a shitty wage I can only get $100k, not enough for a house)

and she talks about it like it's so easy "oh you just need to do this to get a job" bla bla bla I'M TRYING I haven't forgotten how everytime I've gone for a job it took 6+ months and it's taken 4 years to get my foot in the door of my current job and every job of her's she's gotten just by rocking up or within a couple days of applying

and I'm just so bitter/mad/jealous that she's done a 180 and it's so easy for her and now she has a boyfriend to help support her so she can take financial risks

and i'm probably going to STILL be saving for my house when she's gone and bought one

Losing some of my hair and gaining weight, plus crossing the age of 35. That was when it kind of was "aw, shit. It's all downhill from here! I've become a boring adult!"

I went out to eat for my birthday today, threw it all up twenty minutes later. Just realized that my wallet is missing and most likely dropped in a wal*mart parking lot. I can't go look now because it's dark, and it'll probably be gone come morning if it was still there. I doubt anyone was kind enough to have brought it up and said they found it, so all of my cards, my social, my ID, and a trinket I got for my twelfth birthday are al gone.

I kind of feel like curling up in a ball and dying right now.

Oh no! The one time I lost my wallet it was gone for good, but the time I dropped my cellphone on the city bus, the man who found it called the people in my contact list and got it returned to me, so there's still a small chance.

I really really really hope it works out for you. D:

That my body is never going to get better, and as much as I try to maintain my current condition it's probably just going to keep getting worse from here. And even if I can maintain my current condition for a while I'll continue being incapable of working or even leaving my house most of the time.

I'm so sorry :(

It's times like this I wish I had a magic wand to help everybody on this planet be healthy and happy.

Had one today while looking into what classes to take next semester. I don't think I'm going to have the awesome schedule of ending at the latest 1:35 and since I don't have a car it take a while to get home by bus before I have to go work.
I might have to get a car, but atm I barely have any money since I just started my job and want to buy things (I want a 3DS ;^;). I really thought I wouldn't have to because that and the bills for insurance and repairs would eat my min wage pay but if I get a shit schedule I won't be able to work during the week.

Realizing that the only way to fix my depression is probably pills, but that I'd be a useless person if I'm too happy. That the main thing driving my work right now is the fear of disappointing others and if I lose that, I might lose the only thing that makes me worth a damn. That I probably actually deserve unhappiness. I'm not suicidal, I don't self harm, but I'm often unhappy and maybe that's how it should be because it makes me seek positive feedback.

Some people get to have ambition. I get to have fear and stress. But it's better than being a lump in front of the television.

Similar to this, realizing that I only have one grandparent left. I last saw one of my grandfathers when I was I think 2 months old (abusive alcoholic, my mom refused to allow him in her kids' lives) so I never felt the lack of that one, and when I heard he died, it was like "...Oh. Whatever." My grandma on that side on the other hand was awesome, and she was so sick for so long that we expected her to die anytime, but she held on for a few years longer than the estimation, and I keep forgetting that she actually is gone now. My other grandpa is the only one that had a traditional funeral that I attended, so I have never forgotten that he was once here and now is not.

But it only just hit me a couple months ago that my grandma who is now dealing with cancer is actually the only grandparent left (and already a great-great-grandma). Made me more determined to get over to the other side of the state to visit her every chance I get.

Also, my youngest brother is 17 and in a month and a half will be legally an adult and WTF, how is that even possible yo.

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[ SECRET POST #2502 ]

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