fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2505 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2505 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So I made a dA stamp about feminism like ....two years ago. I have since moved on to other things like actually drawing.

I've had one person come and try to give me a sermon on why feminism is bad and i should abandon it and egalitarianism is better. It was draining and annoying and didn't last too long. I closed it by saying that I support feminism the dictionary definition, ie, equality for the genders." now I have another one coming on me saying "the dictionary definition only exists in the dictionary." and how for the past 75 years feminism has only done bad things. I don't agree and I don't want to argue with him anymore. I hate conflict. But I have a feeling he's going to keep coming back to "win" the argument.

I keep dreading when he's going to come back. I've had someone suggest blocking him but that would only make him feel vindicated.

I've considered disabling comments, but again disabling comments tends to be seen as an act by people who can't take criticism. I wouldn't care if someone has a complaint about my stamp making, but I don't want anymore people trying to "convert me" to their movement or telling me feminism is bad.

I just don't know what to do and i don't want to appear...uh..wanky if that makes sense.

(I also wish my art got as much interest as my stamps but that's another thing I won't get into)

Tell him that you aren't interested in being converted and you won't be drawn into a debate. Or, just leave it where it is now and don't respond any more.

yeah I decided to just delete it from my inbox and not respond in the end. I wish there was a way to make it so I wouldn't get notifications about anything on that stamp.

So I can just not be told and ignore all of it.

I kinda wish I had never made those damn stamps.

Maybe report them for harrassment to the mods, if they keep it up? If not, just block them - they're not worth your time. If he feels vindicated, so what? The comments do sound draining; getting rid of that headache is more important than letting some little pissant "win."

Yeah....he can't do much if I don't respond though. If he gives me any trouble afterwards then I'll just block.

Note to self : never open a can of worms again.

Ugh. I hate that egalitarianism instead of debate. Or using QUILTBAG instead of LGTBQ. Suddenly the old words are bad even though their inherent meanings are fine and people have to make up new ones.

this person just keeps on going on an on about how feminism is doing awful things. In my stamp comment I ACKNOWLEDGED that some people do it wrong or act shitty in the name of feminism. But he just keeps talking about how awful it is.

when I mentioned i supported the dictionary definition he made some dumbass analogy to "if they changed the dictionary definition of rape to magic equality time" to try and make me feel stupid. A person can look at the word feminism and come to the conclusion that it's about "pro women's rights" (his preferred name for it) . No sane person is going to look at the word "rape" and decide that it means "magic equality time."

Fail.

Edited 2013-11-12 01:54 (UTC)

QUILTBAG sounds like you have to have a certain number of fat quarters to use it, or else it's APPROPRIATION!

Fucking MRAs. Some day their whole shitty movement of hate and rape will crumble, though, so try and stay strong for just a few more years.

I'm just ignoring him and others like him from now on. I can't do angry debating. The stress ain't worth a small possibility if agreement /mind changing.

You made the right call. These kinds of guys aren't angrily debating. They aren't bringing any reading comprehension to your replies. They're just skimming for keywords that sort of relate to long-winded stupidness they came up with long before they read anything you said.

These guys aren't in it to learn or educate or communicate. They just feel superior to everyone and the closest they get to someone validating them is harassing people into exploding at them so they can say the other side is too defensive to have a valid point or some shit.

Yeah this guy like writing these LONG ass posts about how I was WRONG.

It gets old.

Disable the comments and mention in the artist's notes that since this stamp is so old, you are no longer following it actively and have moved on to other interests. That's what I do.

Anyway, just ignore and delete the comments you don't feel like answering.

That sounds really good, I think I'll try that. I highly doubt people commenting are going to be giving feedback on the art.

oh man I have dealt so much with the "egalitarianism" bullshit (I think that's honestly just a euphemism for "but what about the menzzz) and "look at how horrible feminism is" in the past few weeks. I am not conflict-avoidant, but I still find the attitudes really discouraging and frustrating.

To cap it all off, my favorite uber-conservative-basically-reacionary-rightwing-nutjob friend posted a long ass note yesterday on why she hates feminism, and she started it by defining it completely wrong (it's about being selfish! women just want to get theirs and don't care about men! women want to be better!) and then went on about how a woman's true purpose was to be a man's helpmeet and men deserved to have a wife and poor them if their woman wasn't submissive and completely focused on serving him and gaaaaaaag.

I think it's 10x worse because she's also a woman. like, if you want to be a perfect 50's housewife knock yourself out, but for fuck's sake stop trying to drag other women down with you

sorry that this isn't terribly helpful. is commiserating helpful? I would just confront them and argue, but that's my nature and it doesn't seem like it will help you.

Edited 2013-11-12 03:40 (UTC)

I understand. I've actually met decent people who preferred the other term but weren't misogynist and did not try to force me to take it as well (and they had decent reasons).

I can see why dealing with a lot of them would make someone get sick of it.

I've had some friends who had beliefs I thought were iffy. I just don't talk about it and hope they move past it.

I understand. I don't like it but I'm not into debate , it just tires me out and puts me in a bad mood so I try to avoid it when I can. Some people are suited to debating it out, I'm not one of them. I have more of a "I want to be happy and to make people around me happy" type of nature.

[ SECRET POST #2505 ]

query about blocking / disbaling comments on dA

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Re: query about blocking / disbaling comments on dA

Re: query about blocking / disbaling comments on dA

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Re: query about blocking / disbaling comments on dA

Re: query about blocking / disbaling comments on dA

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Re: query about blocking / disbaling comments on dA

Re: query about blocking / disbaling comments on dA

Re: query about blocking / disbaling comments on dA

Re: query about blocking / disbaling comments on dA