case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-11-11 06:54 pm

[ SECRET POST #2505 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2505 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 061 secrets from Secret Submission Post #358.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 16 - one persistent repeat spammer (I have tried to keep your non-repeats, however!) ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
writerserenyty: (Default)

Re: "There's no such thing as a homewrecker"

[personal profile] writerserenyty 2013-11-12 03:01 am (UTC)(link)
I generally blame the party who's in the relationship more. Because if you're in a committed, monogamous relationship, it's up to you to make it work and not be a cheater.

I don't think that the person outside of a relationship is absolved of blame, and they did do something wrong (assuming they were aware that the person was in a relationship). Just that if we're assigning blame, that the person in the relationship was the person who was more wrong.
scrubber: Naota from Fooly Cooly (Default)

Re: "There's no such thing as a homewrecker"

[personal profile] scrubber 2013-11-12 03:11 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah I agree with this. Not equal, but not blameless.

Re: "There's no such thing as a homewrecker"

(Anonymous) 2013-11-12 03:41 am (UTC)(link)
I disagree. The person in the relationship is 100% at fault. If the relationship is working, there would be no cheating, if the relationship is not working it is entirely the responsibility of the people in the relationship to fix it, end it, or betray it. The betrayal comes from within the relationship, and would happen with at some point with someone, anyone else, regardless. The person outside the relationship is changeable, the cheating partner is the only unchangeable constant in this situation.
diet_poison: (Default)

Re: "There's no such thing as a homewrecker"

[personal profile] diet_poison 2013-11-12 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
From the viewpoint of the spouse who was cheated on, yes, this is largely true. From a neutral viewpoint, no, if you knew your partner was married to someone else (and that's a very important qualifier, but assuming they did know) then you are also doing something very wrong.

Re: "There's no such thing as a homewrecker"

(Anonymous) 2013-11-12 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
See I disagree. If a husband of wife is going to cheat, they are going to cheat regardless of your actions. you don't owe anything to their partner, and assuming you are a free agent, you can do whatever you want to do. I mean it would be a nice thing to do to tell the partner, but it's not your obligation. the only obligation anyone has in this situation is the husband/wife's obligation to not cheated.

I do wonder who would find a person attractive knowing they're willingly betraying their partner, but there are lots of thing's I consider a deal breaker that other people seem more than capable of overlooking, so yeah, if you want to have sex with someone, and they want to have sex with you, you only need to look after you're own life choices, not theirs.
diet_poison: (Default)

Re: "There's no such thing as a homewrecker"

[personal profile] diet_poison 2013-11-12 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
Agree to disagree I guess. Knowingly having sex with a married person who isn't in an open marriage or whatever is a shitty thing to do.

Re: "There's no such thing as a homewrecker"

(Anonymous) 2013-11-12 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
Nope. It's a shitty thing to do, and therefore it's a shitty thing to contribute to. Even if they're going to cheat with someone else (which is by no means a given), you don't have to take part in it yourself, and taking part of it is morally suspect, because you are taking part in an action which you know to be morally harmful and wrong by abetting another person's wrongdoing.

Re: "There's no such thing as a homewrecker"

(Anonymous) 2013-11-12 04:54 am (UTC)(link)
No.

If you knowingly enter into a sexual relationship with a person who is in a committed (and as far as the other person knows, monogamous) relationship with someone else, then you are helping your sexual partner hurt someone. Aiding and abetting a shitty act is itself a shitty act. You are knowingly doing something that you know will hurt someone who has not harmed you. The fact that you're not in a relationship with the person you're harming does not absolve you of responsibility for the fact that you are contributing to their pain. People don't only have a moral obligation not to hurt their own friends and family.

Re: "There's no such thing as a homewrecker"

(Anonymous) 2013-11-12 05:42 am (UTC)(link)
Nope. It's a shitty and selfish thing to do. If you know someone else is in a monogamous relationship but still decide to pursue one of them because you feel no responsibility, that makes you a pretty shitastic person. And that philosophy sounds very, "It's all about ME" tbh. So if someone wants to be a narcissist like that, then they shouldn't be surprised at the consequences of their actions later.