fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2508 ]

[ SECRET POST #2508 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2508 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Sherlock]

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03.

[Dragon Age 2, Skyrim]

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04.

[Revolution]

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05.

[The Avengers]

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06.

[Cardcaptor Sakura]

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07.

[Monster High]

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08.

[Oz]

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09.

(Law & Order: Criminal Intent)

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10.

[Aimée Castle]

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11.

[Shrek, Game of Thrones]

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12.

[Oz]

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13.

[SimCity Societies]

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14.

[xxxHolic]

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15.

[Michael Keaton]

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16.

[By Any Means]

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17.

[Downton Abbey/The Forsyte Saga]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 022 secrets from Secret Submission Post #358.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Anyone else around here sort of center their identity around "what they do"?

I have for a really long time, but it was how I grew up (family worked in agriculture, it was a way of life more than a job), and so I think I'm most attracted to jobs that help inform my identity.

For a long time, I wanted to be a soldier, or a cop; some kind of public service career field that entailed that kind of willingness to put yourself in danger for the greater good. Now that I'm older, I'm worried that my physical health (more accurately, lack of) would prevent me from joining that kind of career field. Thankfully, I've found that I'm extremely interested (and at least acceptably skilled) in research, especially research with defense applications.

But I'm kind of sad that I may have to let go of the part of my identity that is willing and able to go places and do stuff for the larger community that most of the rest of the population isn't willing or interested in doing. I like being an explorer into the unknown to help others, but I'm kind of sad that I may never get to be the defender I always thought I would be. :(

Tremendously.

As sad as it sounds, the next few years my life will be my career, and already plenty of people have commented upon how much happier I am now I've achieved that.

And yes, exact same sectors and some very similar reasons to yourself.

OP

That's actually pretty awesome, that you're happy with your career, and it being a focus in your life.

I'm kind of bummed, because while I have the will and desire, sometimes the physical stuff gets the better of me. I'm especially unusual for the field as I'm a 4'10", barely over 100 lbs female, and while I brook no disrespect from potential colleagues, I recognize that there are some situations that I just physically can't handle. So I worry about my suitability sometimes.

I've known way too many five foot 100lbs women in TSG (riot police) to ever think that should let you down. Everyone knows they're the craziest anyway.

OP

This is very true. Small women know inherently they can't risk the same kind of physical engagement that even small men could. Hence, we make up for it by pretty much being the scariest bitches ever.

Went to college. Got a degree in Special Education. Every time I have taught since, I have HATED it. So now I have this degree and no idea what to do with it. Maybe get my Masters in something else?

You could get a second bachelors if you just wanted to switch careers. A lot of schools do that, you just might need to send a e-mail to whatever college you'd be going to and see what they require for it/if they do it. [A handful don't but most do.]

Yes, this. Some schools even have combined bachelor/master's degree programs for people who already have a degree in something else.

For a long time I wanted to be a translator for the navy [I come from a navy family so...yeah.] Then, in high school, I got diagnosed with a mental illness that pretty much barred me from that for life and I just...fell apart for a few years after that since I'd been focused on that for as long as I could remember.

However, I started putting more stock in the things I do for fun/in general do [Ex. volunteering] and am back on the right track so...It happens, but you'll find a way through it. Hopefully it won't take as long as it did for me. -hugs-

OP

My career interests and skills skew in the same direction as yours, as well. And yeah, being unhealthy in any respect tends to mess with that.

I'm glad you've found something that feels right for you.

And thank you, I hope I get back on track, too. <3

I have the opposite problem, I still don't know what I really want to do with my life and I don't have a decent concept of self. I'm so afraid that I'll make the wrong decision of what I want to do, that I'm going into something I don't really care one way or another about for that's hopefully solid and reliable instead.

Yeah. This is why the happiest people I know are people who have identities apart from their jobs. No job is going to last forever, no job is going to fulfill all of your emotional needs, and generally having a solid sense of self apart from your work also makes you better at your work.

That's not to say that jobs shouldn't be awesome and fulfilling, and I hope you find one that is! It just can't be everything.

No. I don't give a shit about my job except that it pays me. I don't tell people what I do anyway because people hate my organization so much that it could legit possibly get me killed (unlikely, but who knows). I think it'd be super cool to have a job that I love and identify with, but not everyone gets to do that.

Yes, very much so.

About six years ago, I was stalled out in my Ph.D. program and decided I was going to quit. I left the program and started working at this little hell-hole that processed bad checks. I was so demoralized, especially because most of my friends were still in the program. I have never wanted to be anything other than a professor, and the thought that I wasn't going to be one made me feel like I was nothing. I decided to apply for teaching jobs that only required a master's degree, and was hired, so I didn't experience that loss of identity for long.

I am a teacher and I am a writer. Those are both things you do, and I don't know who I'd be without them.

Not as far as my job goes, until recently. I sort of took the opposite path - my identity was not the things I did that I was paid for, but what I did with my pay when I wasn't at work. Now I have a job that actually lines up with my self-image, unlike any of the previous jobs, so I'm proud to say that I'm a web dev. But if I was to lose that job, I would still have so many other things about myself that it wouldn't impact (aside from potential lack of income to pursue those things) that I wouldn't have any huge identity crisis or anything.

Eh, I don't put all my identity eggs in one basket, period.

I mean... There are a lot of things I do, and they're all part of who I am, but I don't really define myself as "A (whatever)," y'know? Priorities shift, things fizzle, new things come along to replace them, and those things will be part of us, too.

I think it's pretty normal to base your identity around your job, especially if your work is something that shapes the rest of your life to a large extent. (Farmer, anything that requires you to travel often or live elsewhere for a significant portion of the year, dangerous jobs, etc.)

My job is an important part of my identity, in that I've experienced things and worked in conditions that very few people ever do. Not a lot of people know what it's like to work 20 consecutive 20+ hour work days, for example. Plus, most people really have no idea what my job actually entails, what kind of hours I work, or what kind of pay I make for it, what level of education I had to receive to do my job.... The only relationships I have time to maintain are those with my coworkers and other people in my industry, because they understand the constraints I'm under with my job, and they understand that even though my job is unusual and very difficult I still love the shit out of it because it's fun and rewarding.

However, my job is not the ONLY part of my identity. If I was going to make my identity into a pie chart "work" would probably be about 50%. The other half would be things like the fact that I'm queer, or that I'm way into fandom, or that I'm from rural Nevada. All the other little things that make me a person and not a robot.

Yeeeepppp. I spent my entire life pretty much preparing for one discipline, and worked in that field quite successfully for a while. But I also liked the minor I took in college, so I thought I might try my hand at that for a while, too. And SUDDENLY INSTITUTIONS THROWING MONEY AT ME HAND OVER FIST, organizations, schools, two governments. Whaaaat. So I'm doing that now, and...

...It still feels wrong. Maybe I just need to get used to it. I honestly don't really even like it as much as the first field, but I realize that it would idiotic to pass up on all of the opportunities I've been given in the new one. Honestly, I think I may even be better at the new one. But my identity was built around the old one, and it's all I ever wanted to become, but I know that the more time I spend in the new one, the less likely it'll be that I can ever go back. In fact, it may already be too late.

First world problems, I know, but sometimes it makes me so depressed I can't even describe it. I wanted to be Thing A. Everyone else wants me to be Thing B, and honestly, I'd probably be a better Thing B. I hate this.

What are thing A and B?

Microbiology and science studies.

Boo!

I thought it was going to be something all secret squirrel with the way you were talking about it.

Hahaha I have done research for the government that required secret clearance and an NDA, but I wouldn't be giving you the details on the internet ;p

OP

Laughing because it sounds like you started out wanting to be Solid Snake and ended up getting shoehorned into being Naomi Hunter. Which is something I can relate to, it's sort of what's happening to me right now, except that the government isn't throwing money at me. Sighhhhh.

But it is incredibly tough, feeling as though you can't pursue your own identity. Even if you're naturally better at something else, but it doesn't call you, it's hard to just settle for it.

If I were to describe my identity (completely & honestly), what I'm studying right now wouldn't even be on the list!

I used to think science was so awesome when I was younger, but college has really drained the love, and in my final year I'll be studying in a hospital laboratory. I feel like a kid playing dress up instead of an adult preparing for work, honestly.

Hopefully, when I'm immersed in work instead of studying all the time I'll feel more competent and confident!

I can sympathize. When I was in college, I wanted to go into academia. I had a pretty bad mental breakdown that fall and had to drop out. My identity had gotten really wrapped up in academia, and I still miss it, especially since my career right now is pretty crappy given that I have a bachelor's, but then I think about bouncing around the country after getting my PhD in the hopes of finding something tenure-track, and then I just feel even worse.

At this point, I'm considering going back to school for something blue-collar and government-related.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2508 ]

Career goals and identity

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