[ SECRET POST #291 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #291 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Posting for Shahni due to lack of computer and early due to class.

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 105 secrets from Secret Submission Post #042.
Secrets Not Posted: 0 broken links, 0 not!secrets, 0 not!fandom, [ 1 ] repeat.
Next Secret Post: Tomorrow, Wednesday, October 24th, 2007.
Current Secret Submission Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

It's not a matter of getting insulted so much as seeing why they're insulting words meant to insult. The reason they became gaming lingo is because guys are constantly using come-downs that emasculate one another-- pussy, faggot, etc. Someone said "faggot," someone said it was homophobic, and you pretty much flipped your shit at them. That may not be what you intended it to look like, but that's what I saw. You can use faggot all you want, but you have to realize that people will disagree with you, and whatever magical meaning you ascribe to the word doesn't change what it means. Language isn't changed by speakers, but by listeners, and the listeners hear "homophobic slur."

It's fine if you didn't want drama to erupt on your LJ, especially not on something so public as the kinkmeme (I'm not sure why participating in the kinkmeme is stalking you, since it was linked in so many places), but yeah, it really did look like you were some special, edgy snowflake wigging out on being called on homophobic slurs.

BTW, the debate about reclaiming nigger in the black community is still pretty active, so I don't think that some people use it has made it acceptable.

[rarebirds]

I didn't 'flip my shit', and the fact that you saw it that way proves a lot of my point - that the internet being a text based forum means that unless a lot of italics and smilies are used, it's sometimes difficult to understand someone's intentions.

I didn't, myself, use the term faggot, nor do I use it outside of an audience that I am certain of the reaction of (my point is not that you should use these words willy-nilly, but that you should not react to them, unless you want to give them the power the person intends.) But I did not want another 50+ comment wankfest (as there was on the bleach kink meme over exactly the same phrase) on my journal over an issue that I believed very strongly over - not the use of the word faggot, but wordhate in general. If the word used had been 'cunt', and someone had commented calling it a slur on females, I would have had exactly the same reaction - perhaps I would have had more of an acceptable stand there, being a female myself.

For the record, there was a day between my correction of the person's perception of the word use on the internet (in which I did not have a go at them, simply pointed out they may be wrong in their assumption) and my 'flipping my shit' (which I actually consider to be a pretty apathic comment, but then, as my journal's flocked, it's probably not possible for you to be able to know this about me.)

It wasn't just the kink meme, you also mentioned a similar discussion I'd had in a community several months back. The XD was meant to mean I was joking, sorry. And yes, I am a special, edgy snowflake - just not in this specific topic. I know several people who are of exactly the same opinion as me, both on the internet and in real life.

I know this, and was only using it as an example of how language should develop (imo), not that the matter has been settled, at all, but it's a step in the right direction (imo.)

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

it's sometimes difficult to understand someone's intentions.

That's true. Course, as my approach to the issue is "go ahead and use them but be prepared for someone calling you out on it," I guess I found it more striking than anything, since it really looked like you were pissed at the second commenter. Not wanting drama's all fine and well, but it was also kind of off-putting to see them called ignorant. Yeah, it's your journal and you can treat commenters however you, but that was the kind of vibe I got and it really stuck in my head.

The other time I saw you comment on the subject was in khfanficrants, and I remember the post so well because one of the mods nearly quit because she was so disgusted with it. It wasn't with you specifically though I remember that you were in the fray, but a lot of people in the community were going "lol, it's totally a fine word!" and it did have that "we are such edgy straight chicks calling one another faggots =D" vibe from some commenters, which totally skeeves me out. It's one thing for gays to call one another faggots, it reeks of misappropriation when other people do it. Which it sounds like you disagree fundamentally with, but almost no one agrees on the subject of word reclamation and how it should be done. My own experiences sound pretty different than yours, so it sounds like we'll have to agree to disagree on the issue.

Hey, people are very srs business about accusing stalkers on the internet, how was I to know? :P