fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2523 ]

[ SECRET POST #2523 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2523 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Carnivale]

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03.

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04.

[Madame LaLaurie from American Horror Story: Coven]

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05.

[David Duchovny/The X-Files]

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06.

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07.

[The Lorax]

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08.

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

09. [SPOILERS for Blacklist]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

10. [WARNING for rape?]

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11. [SPOILERS for Once Upon a Time]
[WARNING for rape]

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12. [WARNING for incest]

[The Raven Cycle]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #360.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

(reply from suspended user)

Maybe...women and men are not that different. And they just like looking at asses and cocks and boobs and vagina. And maybe the only difference is that you have been on the internet so long, you have been brainwashed to think "OMG ANY HINT OF SAYING A WOMAN IS HOT AS FUCK IS OBJECTIFICATION! MISOGYNY! OH NOOOOOOOOOoooooOOOoooooOOOOO."

Womens have the "oh yeah baby" lusts too. They are just less likely to say it out loud and be dicks about it because of how society has shaped expectations.

But there's nothing actually wrong with the "unf" as long as you aren't being horrible about it.

I don't know if it disrespectful. I think there may be a double standard here with a reason. Because while you have women going, "omg dat ass" in private, they aren't going to catcall in public. (Though I think that may be changing. I see more and more women becoming bolder and grabbing men in public. Especially female interviewers with male actors. But it isn't at the same level as men grabbing and catcalling women in public.) So, while women are catcalling in private, they are less of a threat in public compared to the men who catcall in public. However, when you catcall another women, maybe it reminds other women of men catcalling women and triggers something. Perhaps. I am just guessing here.

It is different... but at the same time, yeah, I do feel like I'm being disrespectful. I think it's because women in general get that kind of reaction A LOT, from guys especially - everything from "sweet tits" to "wow you're so beautiful", it's sort of reducing us to our physical body.

Like our entire worth as a human being depends on how pretty we are.

IDK what I'm trying to say exactly, but yeah, I do feel guilt for the rare moments when I do look at women that way, because I think: "How would they feel about this kind of attention?"

For guys, it's different, because they aren't normally treated in that way, and they aren't given that message, over and over, that "You are the sum of your parts, and nothing more."

I do feel guilt for the rare moments when I do look at women that way, because I think: "How would they feel about this kind of attention?"

Can't speak for all women, but I would feel just fine with that kind of attention when it's inside your own head, thanks.

Now, I sure would NOT feel fine getting that kind of attention openly, with comments and leers and shit, to the point where you're being an unprofessional douche who obviously doesn't give a rat's ass that I can totally see you ogling. I also wouldn't feel fine with that kind of attention if it means that you ignore everything else about me and dismiss all my other qualities as irrelevant.

But if you keep it under a goddamn lid, act politely, look at my face when you're talking to me, talk to me like a person, have enough control over yourself to not make remarks to me when we're in totally inappropriate and non-sexual situations, and acknowledge my other, non-bodily qualities, IDGAF if you're privately going "unf!" about me in your head. I really do not care. I will not feel bad about it. At all. Because believe me, I'm privately going "unf!" about a whole load of hot guys too, and I don't think I'm diminishing them. And while yeah, it IS different between men and women as far as societal contexts go, that only extends to the social level. It doesn't extend into people's thoughts. I refuse to be someone who polices people's natural, unconscious, biological, PRIVATE reactions.

Have your private reactions. Have all the private reactions you want. They're natural and normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Just have some perspective about how important they are relative to everything else about me. And have the civility to not express them to me in non-sexual situations.

I always thought "male gaze" was more about a disembodied viewpoint than individual objectification? Like, if we the audience are observing someone else objectifying a person, whatever, but when the camera itself behaves from an objectifying viewpoint so that both the audience and the subject is participating in it whether any of us like it or not, and because the audience is assumed to be male, it's almost always aimed at women, that's the male gaze.

Well, either way, so long as you aren't making a live person uncomfortable with your leering, I don't see how going "dat ass" at a picture is disrespectful.

Yeah... I kind of understand it more like that -- in any given movie in which they appear, the camera is going to be pointed at Tom Hiddleston in a way that encourages the audience to view him as whatever sort of character he's playing (villainous, heroic, sympathetic, mysterious, whatever), while the camera is going to be pointed at ScarJo in a way that almost always encourages the audience to view her as "sexy."

Exactly this. The camera goes for "sexy" no matter what women are doing, making some scenes really...off, which is where the perpetual male gaze becomes problematic.

which is why the camera work in magic mike was such a beauty. usually, whenever a buff dreamboat is being objectified by the camera, it's a hips and up framing like hemsworth in thor. it's a ticket to the guns show.

but soderbergh did a lot of legs and up shots (usually reserved for women) in magic mike.

Oh, yeah, the clips I've seen of it are definitely more aware of where people who like male bodies are going to be looking than a lot of stuff that attempts male objectification. Reminds me of those people who think the waist-up overmuscled bodies of male comic characters are meant for the female gaze. Riiiight.

It's okay to look at women. It's okay to be turned on when you're looking at women*. What's not okay is harassing people and treating them as if their bodies are specifically there for you to look at.

And hell yes I look at women, I fantasize about women, I make comments about pictures of hot women...what is the point in being attracted to women if I couldn't? How would I find someone to have sex with, if we walked around trying not to look at each other's sexy bits and not letting each other know that we were attracted?

*and yeah this goes for men too

I don't think it's uncommon for queer women to do. Usually if there's a criticism of a scene in something for its use of male gaze, the comments will contain women pointing out that they enjoyed that scene too. Of course those comments are followed by other women pointing back at them that that's a nice coincidence and all, but it doesn't matter because the scene wasn't made with them in mind. There will sometimes also be implications that queer women turned on by the male gaze have a responsibility to untrain that part of their arousal and watch some nice empowering indie lesbian porn instead.

Welp, I tried to keep my bitterness out of that answer, but I succeeded about as well as I did at untraining my queer hormones to react to objectification of my own gender. And you know, nothing ever made me wonder if there's a "reason" I "turned out" bisexual until I wondered if I'm just attracted to women because my exposure to things that assume the viewer is a heterosexual man caused my brain to react to women like one. That makes me feel guilty and gross both on the level of being a bad feminist and a bad representation of queerness.

And you know, nothing ever made me wonder if there's a "reason" I "turned out" bisexual until I wondered if I'm just attracted to women because my exposure to things that assume the viewer is a heterosexual man caused my brain to react to women like one.

that...

it doesn't work that way omg

I know it's not supposed to, but I wish I was secure enough to believe it. I assume it doesn't work that way normally. Just, that it happens to exceptionally brainwashable lumps like me.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2523 ]

Re: male gaze + queer women??

Honestly this

Re: male gaze + queer women??

Re: male gaze + queer women??

Re: male gaze + queer women??

Re: male gaze + queer women??

Re: male gaze + queer women??

Re: male gaze + queer women??

Re: male gaze + queer women??

Re: male gaze + queer women??

Re: male gaze + queer women??

Re: male gaze + queer women??

Re: male gaze + queer women??

Re: male gaze + queer women??