[ SECRET POST #2527 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2527 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #361.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Probably cultural, because it's traditional in my family to stay at home for just about forever.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Same here. And as I was saying up there, I also think it's pretty normal to ask an adult to help in someway, but it's the "pay" thing that's weirding me out.

It makes it sound less like an arrangement to make living together easier, and more like a "you're just renting your place here and are only welcome if you pay for it".

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

I'm wondering if the OP is American, because it seems like a values thing. Quite a few of my born and raised American friends had the whole 'rent' thing going on, so I assumed it was a result of U.S. capitalism or something.
My home really values family over money always, and typically is pretty large in size, so if you don't do chores it draws a lot of ire and creates friction, but we aren't going to kick you out. People just value different things, I guess.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

I'm wondering the same.

Although my family doesn't... exactly value family over money, when it comes to close relatives (specially fathers and children) it's pretty normal to live together and help in some way just so everyone living together can live well. No being able to contribute with money is even expected if someone isn't working and not helping in chores causes discussions, but that's it.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Yeah, that's pretty much it. There's no debts owed.

[(Anonymous)]

It's not that we don't value our families at all; it's about instilling responsibility in young adults. If they're living at home age 20 and are not disabled, then they usually have responsibility issues.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

See, that's where the cultural disconnect comes in. My sister moved out at twenty and everyone thought she was absolutely bonkers for it. Our sense of responsibility, while technically also encompasses fiscal responsibilities (contributing the best you can and all), also includes supporting the family, so leaving so early is seen as...well, not the done thing, I suppose.

[nyxelestia]

Probably a different idea of responsibility, then.

In the US (and much of the Western world, I think), a child living at home is seen as a burden on the parents, with the exception being if a parents/a relative is sick and you're staying at home specifically to help take care of them. Otherwise, you support your parents by leaving, thus freeing them of the burden of taking care of you.

Of course, in many other cultures it's the other way around - a child at home is an asset, and thus you want them to stay at home, and in turn that means a child leaving early is a loss and seen as selfish on the child's part.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

Yes, this is what I was trying to say. You worded it much better than me!

[(Anonymous)]

In case of my country, it's slightly different, since it's not about responsibility.

It's not that a child is an asset, it's that a child who leaves their home without being able to support themselves it's an idiot who'll probably trouble (either by making them worry or asking them for money) their parents later when that child notice that, hey, living on their own it's not something that easy, specially as a student, since that pretty much mean they won't get a job that will pay them enough to even pay a cheap rent.

[(Anonymous)]

"So early," LOL. I left home at 17 and never looked back.

[(Anonymous)]

People can be taught to be responsible in many ways though.

[(Anonymous)]

I think the difference is whether families are using social pressure or financial pressure to "instill responsibility" and maybe there is something there to be said about the cultural differences behind those two approaches.

[(Anonymous)]

Or staying at home is taking responsibility. My mother and her sister were expected to live at home until they got married, because in their culture, "good girls" didn't live on their own. They also had multiple household responsibilities--my mom was the caregiver for their disabled mother, while my aunt did the cooking and much of the housework.

[(Anonymous)]

It isn't about capitalism. It is about helping out your family and being responsible.

[(Anonymous)]

True. You're expected to help out just because they're family. And not just sit around like a lump.

[(Anonymous)]

It is basically communism--you are receiving needed shelter, and you're contributing according to your (adult) ability to do so.