[ SECRET POST #2535 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2535 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 026 secrets from Secret Submission Post #362.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Confessions!

[(Anonymous)]

Having an orgasm with another person is different, and often harder, than getting there yourself. When you masturbate, you know exactly where to touch, how hard, how fast, etc. in order to get yourself off, and you have instantaneous feedback to know when and how you need to modify what you're doing. When another person is touching you, that feedback is mediated by language and gesture, so even if you say, "no, up a little higher, to the left, slow down but push harder," they're still probably not going to do it exactly the way you'd do it if it was your own hand doing the work (or manipulating the toy, whatevs). Add to that the pressure of performance, and the feeling that you need to be thinking about the other person rather than whatever masturbatory fantasy usually gets you off, and reaching orgasm becomes an uphill battle -- and one that has nothing to do with your sexual orientation.

Recommendation: if you have a regular sexual partner, work on becoming more comfortable giving them verbal directions (if you're not already). Be specific, and don't be afraid to keep the feedback coming. Then do whatever gets you off when you're alone, whether it's a particular fantasy, or porn, or whatever (couples can watch porn together and have it enrich their experience, as long as they're both into it). Try not to get too focused on performing, on the goal; just enjoy what you're doing and relax, and practice! I used to have a hard time coming with a partner too, but I got there eventually. These suggestions might not work for you, and maybe you've already tried them, but if you haven't, I think they're worth a shot. Good luck!

Another thought: what about putting on a show for your partner, where you masturbate while they watch, and maybe kiss or touch other parts of you? That way, even if you can't work yourself up to coming from another person's touch, you can still get off in the context of being with a partner. Do you think that might work?