[ SECRET POST #2539 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2539 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 066 secrets from Secret Submission Post #363.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

awkwardness of being BNF

[(Anonymous)]

so I'm a BNF in a small-ish fandom and I have what is, within the fandom, a popular "in-character" blog. People send questions to the character and I answer them as I think that character might, and I always try to keep it a happy place. But a few months ago people started sending my character questions/comments that are clearly important to them, but which are really really awkward for me to answer (ie, "I'm being bullied, please help me" or "My uncle just passed away and I could use some cheering up"). I am happy that people find my blog to be comforting but I think that they forget that behind it is just a normal girl, and I'm not that great at giving advice (and considering that I'm pretty emotionally unstable, I probably *shouldn't* be giving advice).
But I don't want to ignore them, of course; they're not just anon messages that I can pretend I didn't get, either, they're from people who follow and interact with my blog.

Anyway, that's a weird downside to being a BNF that I hadn't expected. Anyone else have awkward experiences like that?

Re: awkwardness of being BNF

[(Anonymous)]

I either ignore the less urgent ones or send a private reply back telling the person that I'm not able to help them, but I hope it all works out. If they get shitty over that I will block them to prevent it becoming a disaster.
I find trying to be sympathetic or helpful or lenient with them doesn't help and seems to just...not encourage, but similar.

That said if I ever got a suicide message I'd do the tumblr help- suicide report thing

Re: awkwardness of being BNF

[(Anonymous)]

I suggest you make a post stating that you're not qualified to deal with serious life questions (like bullying, suicide, grief, etc.), and you won't answer them.

Set that as a rule in your "About" page or something. Maybe you could list some counselling hotlines people can call. If you DO get questions anyone, you could create a generic reply post. (Eg. "Sorry, I can't help you with this because... Here's some list of tumblrs/websites/resources to assist you...)

Think of it as a boundary for YOUR safety, as well as other people's. Dealing with people's serious life issues can put a big strain on you. And, if you're not qualified to give advice on those issues, then you could inadvertently be doing harm.

Please don't feel pressured to be other people's therapist just because you're a BNF. You don't have responsibility over other people's lives.