[ SECRET POST #2545 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2545 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 070 secrets from Secret Submission Post #363.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

(AYRT) I will agree that if a person makes a rape joke, and then shrugs it off when they get flack for it, then yes that's a pretty douchy thing to do. However, some of their defensiveness can also sometimes be understandable. If a person is famous and makes a stupid and offensive joke about rape, and then they get scores of people telling them that they're the lowest of the low and deserve to die horribly for doing so, of course it's more likely to provoke a more defensive reaction (from the both the person themself and their fans alike).

I'm a homo-romantic asexual woman, with a mental illness, and from a poorer background, so I would be the "target" for quite a few of those remarks, and I still don't really see what the issue is with a lot of them. I do see the obvious problem in some of the remarks, but to criticise him for using words like "tart," "mad" and "nuts" to choose a few (at least I'm guessing this is what the critique is for since I really can't imagine anything else wrong with those sentences), I think it a bit OTT and just trying to look for drama.

[rivia]

I agree with you on that, I see a lot of people just outright attacking others rather than attempting to educate them on why what they said was fucked up and hurtful, though at the same time it shouldn't be the slighted party's responsibility to educate the other person. There's also the fact that generally speaking, it's not a lot of people who do call someone out on their shit. I mean that in the sense that for every person who tweets "that was a really hurtful thing to say" or something like that to a celeb who made a gross joke, there's going to be twenty reassuring the person that those PC SJW assholes are just being bullies and that they should just keep doin' what they're doin', fuck the haters, etc.

And now that I look at that, those examples do seem a bit trivial I suppose, compared to the others, but I've never been called crazy or mad or nuts and get dismissed (yay me, apparently I keep my mental illnesses under wraps better than I thought) and it doesn't bother me but that's because I haven't experienced being hurt by those words.

I feel like some of that doesn't make sense, I hope it does, I've stared at it for too long already trying to figure out how to phrase what I wanted to say.

[(Anonymous)]

though at the same time it shouldn't be the slighted party's responsibility to educate the other person.

Being angry and refusing to say why - expecting the other party to magically see your perspective - is a two-year old's response to conflict. No one's going to just suddenly know what's sent you into a rageful tizzy, especially since none of us (to my knowledge) possess ESP.

If you act like an unreasonable toddler, don't be surprised when the other party treats your concerns like a toddler's tantrum, because in their frame of reference it's the most likely explanation for why you're red in the face and screaming imprecations.

And no matter how valid your point might be, how you present it matters. If you make things up or routinely blow things out of perspective (like your tumblr site seems to), then like the Boy Who Cried Wolf, no one will believe you if/when you're right. If you stomp around saying, "I shouldn't have to tell you!" or start slinging curses and death threats, you're likely to be ignored because, frankly, everyone's got their own things to be getting about. No one really wants to waste time coaxing functional adult strangers into saying what's wrong, where it hurts, etc.

People may not do/think what you want when you speak to them rationally and without trying to shame them (because, again, 'who the hell are you and why would your perspective or attempted shaming matter to me' is their perspective) but at least they'll listen.

And if you post fake rape accusations, you should be prepared for a libel suit. John Green sounds like an incredibly patient person to me.