[ SECRET POST #2546 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2546 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 054 secrets from Secret Submission Post #363.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Transcript of Not Secret - The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

[transcriptanon]

[Picture is a close up of the dragon Smaug's reptilian fire-y eye, from the movie series "The Hobbit".]

What I just watched wasn't 'The Hobbit', it was 3 hours of 'Legolas by Laura'. It was a self-indulgent director misinterpreting his source material. It was an entire film strung together from Lord of the Ring injokes and redundant action sequences. It was a writing team deciding 'What the heck did Tolkien know about storytelling, anyway!' It was a token female character whose only function outside being The Love Interest was derailed by her being The Love Interest.

And the worst thing? Bilbo, Thorin and Smaug were excellent. charactersation, acting = A+. The bits of Beorn's house and Mirkwood we actually got to see where awesome. Shame Peter Jackson couldn't have made that film. You know, the one based on the cool story that guy Tolkien wrote.

Re: Transcript of Not Secret - The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

[(Anonymous)]

This is DEFINITELY not a secret, OP. I think everyone is aware of this, by now. Sadly.

Re: Transcript of Not Secret - The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

[chardmonster]

I think the main problem is that they tried to stretch a short book into three movies.

Eh. I didn't dislike "Legolas By Laura" as much as I anticipated. I ended up getting more annoyed with Filli's love at first sight angle.

SHE'S IMPRISONING YOU, YOU SHORT MORON

This movie contained The Campiest Elf King Encounters Bear Dwarf and Legolas Faces by Legolas so I couldn't hate it.

Re: Transcript of Not Secret - The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

[ibbity]

Kili is the love at first sight dwarf, Fili is his bro

Re: Transcript of Not Secret - The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

[siofrabunnies]

What I hated was that they cut out story in order to shove this elf-dwarf romance. One, we got like, three minutes of spiders and around six of Beorn. Two, Legolas and Gimli are the ones who bridge the divide between Elves and Dwarves. Three, I'm really worried that Tauriel's going to pull an Arwen and die because of her mortal love. With Aragorn and Arwen (& Beren and Luthien), it's a lifelong thing and required constant effort; Tauriel's probably going to charge in at the Battle of the Five Armies and sacrifice herself to avenge Kili's death or some cheap, Romeo & Juliet maneuver like that.

Re: Transcript of Not Secret - The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

[silvereriena]

I got the impression that the love was one-sided, even at the end of the movie. Kili was spewing his cheesy love lines in his delirium and Tauriel seemed touched but not really falling for him. At least, that's how it seemed to me.
I can't say that romance is PJ's strong point.

Re: Transcript of Not Secret - The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

[blueonblue]

Tauriel's probably going to charge in at the Battle of the Five Armies and sacrifice herself to avenge Kili's death or some cheap, Romeo & Juliet maneuver like that.

That is probably what will happen and I am really looking forward to all the unintentional camp and cheap melodrama The Hobbit: Orcs! Orcs! Orcs! will bring. Seriously, Desolation of Smaug was such an iddy fanfic it can barely be called a book adaptation.