fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2550 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2550 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Rachel Getting Married]

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[american horror story: coven]

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[Mass Effect]

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[Rules of Engagement]

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Notes:

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For those whose holidays were over ages ago and are just enjoying empty streets and easy parking: Happy Holidays, you suckers. ;) :P

For those whose families are awesome: rock on and enjoy what's left of your holidays. :D

However, this thread isn't about you guys. I love you guys and all, but just about every online space I see, you guys are getting the bulk of the holiday action. And that's fine. There are obviously lots of holiday greetings and such going around this time of year.

But there are not nearly enough support wishes for those whose families suck but still have to spend the holidays with them. I've seen a handful, and most of those (that I've seen) get drowned out by people getting pissed off at "wet blankets". There's like one graphic/meme being passed around to support people facing miserable holidays at the hands of friends and family they are supposed to find love and respect in, without being derided or minimalized. And maybe I'm just a cynic, but that doesn't seem to be nearly enough.

So for those of us you who are stuck with toxic families or environments for the holidays:

Hold on. It's nearly over.

And for those who have already been able to leave them behind now that Christmas is over, or for the previous addressees to read once they are away:

Congratulations - you made it. You probably won't hear this enough, so I hope something can be gained from hearing it from at least one person here. You made it, and at least that is something worth celebrating.

So Happy Holidays, and Happy End of the Holidays, because everyone could use at least a little of both.

thanks. the second day of Christmas for me is always the worst (unappreciating family visits my close family... and today they were rude like never before).

I am so very glad to be going back to work tomorrow.

Thank you. Seriously. I do not have it nearly as bad as most (and I have so far avoided talking to any of my relatives at all over the holidays, which may mean I'm going to be in trouble with them over the weekend, sigh) but it's bad enough I appreciate it, so those who really have a crap situation to deal with really need it.

...And I called it. Now am getting guilt-tripped from different directions, and my mom is making stupid assumptions about why I didn't show up, and saying that if I want to talk about it "I'm a good listener" - and NO, ACTUALLY THE REASON I DIDN'T SHOW UP IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE PROVEN OVER AND OVER THAT YOU ARE ONLY EVER GOING TO HEAR WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR, AND A COUPLE WEEKS AGO WAS A PARTICULARLY AWFUL ILLUSTRATION OF THAT, AND HERE WE HAVE YET ANOTHER.

So much for me being able to go over tomorrow and wish my little brother a happy birthday. I am not going anywhere near her.

*virtual hug* I am so sorry to hear that, Pants. If you feel like venting: what happened a few weeks ago and/or what happened here?

Long story short, my health has sucked for the last few years, and I've pretty much grown accustomed to living at the level of disability I'm at right now, and know my limits, and so on. My mom has a tendency to make assumptions and overreact.

So a few weeks ago after I posted a "hah, that was a bad idea! Oh well!" type post on FB about having pushed myself a little too hard while doing necessary yardwork, she came over to my house to try to convince me that I needed to go to the emergency room. I told her, honestly, that the ill effects lasted for like 45 minutes, it was obvious why it had happened and that it was my own fault, and I'd been fine since.

Of course she KNEW I would try to "fight it", and therefore before she'd arrived? She'd apparently gone to the police and gotten an officer to come with her to try to FORCE me to go to the hospital.

Fortunately the officer could see that I was not a danger to myself or others, seeing as I was doing housework and getting ready to go grocery shopping when they arrived, and therefore there was no reason to force me to go anywhere. But it was a huge waste of the police's time and embarrassing and if she would just NOT MAKE STUPID ASSUMPTIONS AND MAYBE TALK TO ME FIRST AND ACTUALLY BELIEVE WHAT I SAY, it could have been avoided, but I know better than to think she's capable of that.

And then the other day she dropped by while I wasn't here to try to make peace by bringing me cookies. I have told her repeatedly that with my current health issues, food is not a gift - it is an unwelcome burden and PLEASE do not give me food, ever. She has never listened and keeps insisting on giving me food which I can't eat and have to throw out.

So yesterday she sends me an email about why I didn't show up at Christmas, and is like "I know you have a lot of unpleasant things going on, but you can always talk to me. I'm a good listener."

NO YOU'RE NOT. THE FACT YOU'RE A *TERRIBLE* LISTENER IS THE UNPLEASANT THING THAT KEPT ME AWAY FROM CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR, NOTHING ELSE.

And I'm not convinced that the panicked voicemail I got from her last night saying that my dad and littlest brother were in an accident and she needed a ride to get to them wasn't faked to try to get to me. Because as much as I didn't want to talk to her, for the sake of the rest of my family and a possible emergency, I called her back to offer a ride and she did not sound the slightest bit panicked and was like "...Oh. Yeah. Uh... no one's hurt, and they're... I think they're just up the road, and... uh... you know what? Your dad left the keys to the van here... so I should just take that, your car's too small to hold everyone. Never mind!"

*repeated headdesk* ...Anyway, thanks. That's my mother.

I've been on the butt end of "not listening" and "recipient of goods that I said many times that I did not want" multiple times and I know how frustrating it is. I can offer virtual tentacled hugs if you want?

*another hug*

*offers mystical Internet booze that you can drink no matter what your health issues are because you sound like you really need it*

It's a bit odd but I think we've had at least as many shitty holiday sympathy threads as we've had straight-up holiday threads.

I like it, honestly - it's good to see sympathy like that, even though my family mostly managed to keep the peace this year. It's nice about the com that we have a lot of people who care about things like this. It's good.

Anyway, yeah.

I missed the threads about this before so I guess it's my chance to rant.

I survived, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The worst was probably the first day when my sister was horrible to me because how dare I not give everyone presents when I'm unemployed and have no money (and what little money I do have was going to her goddamn kids.)

I really did not want to do the holidays at all though, no one tries to get me anything, I have no one in my life who really knows and loves me. I've gotten to the point where I don't feel lonely when I skip events to be by myself because at least I'm not being guilted into pretending or criticized.

[ SECRET POST #2550 ]

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