[ SECRET POST #2552 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2552 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 077 secrets from Secret Submission Post #364.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

socially awkward penguin needs advice

[(Anonymous)]

Is it ok to ask a not-so-close friend if they know of any New Year's party I could go to? I feel a bit weird about it because I have been in this city only a year and dont know many other people and though they are very welcoming idk if a new years party is supposed to be more personal or something (house party as in, among friends. obviously not a family party)

Re: socially awkward penguin needs advice

[(Anonymous)]

Don't do a house party with people you don't or barely know. Find a friend or agreeable co-worker and/or classmate and go OUT to an event. Lots of places will be doing things, and all it takes is a little google to find out what.

Re: socially awkward penguin needs advice

[(Anonymous)]

Oh no I mean, ask them if they're going to any party I could tag along with. I've been to parties with them/that they threw themselves, so it's pretty safe.

Re: socially awkward penguin needs advice

[lynx]

Then by all means go ahead :o But if you're socially awkward, a house party might not be the best idea. I'm going clubbing this year, because I kinda hate it when I'm at a small enclosed space (such as an apartment) full of people I don't know except for the one friend that brought me there.

Re: socially awkward penguin needs advice

[(Anonymous)]

I wouldn't put it in those exact terms, tbh. Asking if you can tag along with someone just sounds a little pathetic and needy. People might agree out of pity, but that's getting your friendship off on the wrong foot.

You might play it more casual, saying that back home you used to go to this one friend's fabulous NYE party but since you're new to the city you end up sitting at home like a loser. (Try hard to hit those honest but self-deprecating humor cues.) Ask your acquaintance if they have any plans, but DO NOT ASK IF YOU CAN COME WITH THEM.

If they don't have any plans, invite them over.

Re: socially awkward penguin needs advice

[nyxelestia]

I'd say, just tell them that you're not very good at making new friends but would really like to, and thus need some help finding a party to go to. People are usually pretty happy to make new friends and help someone make new friends, and it's a lot less awkward. Or rather, it jumps ahead of the awkwardness because if no one "expects" you to be a friend already, then it's not going to be an issue that you don't have anything to talk about or don't know each other at all, and thus they'll try and fill in that gap by introducing themselves and letting you do the same, asking about interests and connections, etc.

Alternatively, see if there are any non-house party New Year's events that you could go to, either with them or on your own. :)

ETA: if you DO go to a party, then bring something i.e. a game to play, some unique food or drink, or even just some very obviously/conversation-worthy unique accessory or a random object that will make people ask questions - great way to start conversations if you suck at doing so yourself*, and can smooth some gaps in social interaction.

* = or if you suck at starting conversations that aren't sociopolitical/philosophical debates. Like me! :D