fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2577 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2577 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald-Crane, from the soap opera Passions]

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[BBC Sherlock]

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[Nobunaga the Fool]

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[Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia from Star Wars]

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[The Quick and the Dead]

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[Nathan Fillion]

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[Warehouse 13]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 030 secrets from Secret Submission Post #368.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So, in the canon I'm writing from, there are several families where the mothers/wives are not ever mentioned or even hinted at but you know they're there because of the kids they have. They are not OCs in that they do exist in the universe but they are OCs in that there is absolutely nothing known about them.

For the story I'm writing, I'm focused on the named characters in these families (the husbands and the kids). The women have absolutely nothing to do with the plot, and for the most part, it's better if they're not there because they're not going to end up with the named character. But there are a lot of them, and it feels terrible (and repetitive) to have a bunch of them dying in childbirth (or illness/accident) or conveniently in love with someone else or gay or "really understanding" or only married for political reasons, etc. I feel like to be realistic, at least one of them should be pissed if her husband fell in love with someone else, even if she and her husband aren't "true love" -- even if it were just a political match. Or that she would be disappointed if her husband and/or children get to go off into the sunset for adventure or eternal rewards and leave her behind.

But, while it might be more realistic to give her that kind of depth, it is not the story I want to tell and I feel to do it justice would result in a huge tangent. I hate short-changing any woman in my stories but the story's not about them. It's only about them in the sense of how they affect(ed) their family.

I'm not going to demonize these women for the sake of the guy's love story and turn them all into bitches, but I feel like I'm not doing any better by sweeping them under the rug. I don't feel like I can ignore their existence because with the kids being present, I know I'd wonder what happened to their mom and even if I'm not explicit, if she's not there, then you kind of know one of the clichés from above happened anyway.

So, what are your feelings about these kinds of situations? If the canon character has a kid and nothing's mentioned about the wife (dead or alive), does it irritate you when authors often choose to have her die in childbirth or something similar so she's not around? Even if it happened a long time ago and the husband's not angsting over it anymore? Does in anger you if a woman in a relationship who is "in the way" just bows out to facilitate the main pairing? Does it not bother you at all? Do you even notice it? If there were a lot of these kinds of things in the same fic, would it be worse or not noticeable or not important to you?

Personally I've stopped caring about how other people say I should write women, because everyone has contradicting opinions and you cannot possibly please everybody. Write the character the way you see her, and do it as well as you can.

Depends on how it's handled, and the likely hood of it happening in the setting of the story. For example if it's something similar to the 1800s or earlier? It would be pretty common. But say... Modern times* or the future? It'd be a little harder to swallow.

*in a developed nation

I always notice when the mother of single father A's child just disappears after she gives birth (but the "died in childbirth" thing seems worse to me because it's like she's disposable). I prefer the "Huh, I guess we're both gay" solution (mostly because of the amusing crossed wires aspect and because I'm partial to femslash). And if that came up multiple times in a fic, I'd definitely think it strained believability at the least. That being said, if I'm reading a fic for a specific pairing, I'm reading for A/B not A/C or B/D. I never mind "C, the ex-wife, comes in to say, 'Hi, A. I'm here to pick up our child per the custody arrangement/agreement.'"

Well, if there are a lot of them, why not have a bunch of different reasons?

Both the husband and wife are gay, but they wanted biological kids and equal rights to their children, so they are married, but have outside relationships.

It just didn't work out and the couple is separated, working up to divorce (in some places it's ridiculously hard to get divorced).

Maybe one men had a surrogate and one adopted.

Maybe one was a godfather/uncle/cousin to kids whose parents died.

Maybe the mother and father were never actually married, but have a friendly custodial arrangement.

There are lots of different scenarios for this and most can be explained in a sentence or two somewhere in the story. Hell, you could have a single parent support group and everyone could explain.

If there's not an explanation in canon, I'll usually figure one out for myself (and generally if the named characters don't make a big deal out of it, I won't think it is one).

What fandom is this? Because it reminds me of The Hobbit, with the fact that there is only one Dwarf woman who was ever given a name in canon. Plenty of males were named, even a genealogy of the line of Durin (Thorin Oakenshield's family), but only the direct line of the kings, and the links directly to the Dwarves of the Company and ones like Dáin Ironfoot are shown.

[ SECRET POST #2577 ]

Help with women OCs in fic

Re: Help with women OCs in fic

Re: Help with women OCs in fic

Re: Help with women OCs in fic

You have lots of options.

Re: Help with women OCs in fic