[ SECRET POST #2580 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2580 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 082 secrets from Secret Submission Post #369.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Ex In-Laws

[(Anonymous)]

FSers, do you think it's okay to still be friends with your ex in-laws? How about still considering them family?

In my case, it's my brother's ex-wife. My brother and I don't talk much anymore (big blowout between him and my parents has kind of separated us), but I'm good friends with his ex. We got a lot closer after they split, and I consider her my big sister and often call her that.

The problem is, I don't know if I'm betraying my brother or not? I don't know how he'd feel if he knew I was still talking to her, much less calling her 'big sis'. But family doesn't end with blood, right?

I'm just really confused. I love them both, and I'd hate to hurt either of them. Is it okay to still think of her as my sister?

Re: Ex In-Laws

[lunabee34]

I think this is perfectly fine, particularly since you and your brother are not very close anyway. I do think once you've grown to think of someone as your family, it seems arbitrary and weird to suddenly cut them off, especially if the reasons for them leaving your family officially are not terrible (like they split because she's abusive or a criminal or something like that).

Re: Ex In-Laws

[(Anonymous)]

yes, your relationship with her is your own

Re: Ex In-Laws

[(Anonymous)]

I don't see anything wrong with being close to her or thinking of her as your sister.

Re: Ex In-Laws

[(Anonymous)]

It's fine. I mean, I still talk and hang out with my ex-stepmother and my father is mature enough that it doesn't bother him. If your brother feels betrayed (and, well, he might) then that's his problem and he'll probably get over it soon enough. When your brother married your ex-sister in law, you bonded with her and considered her family. You can't just turn that feeling off and I would consider you a bit of a fickle person if you considered her a close, sister figure one day and then turned your back on her the next just because you're worried your grown brother would get his feelings bruised. I mean, I'm not saying you should invite her to thanksgiving or anything but it's fine to maintain a relationship. Don't worry about it, nonny.

Re: Ex In-Laws

[(Anonymous)]

I think it might possibly be pretty awkward if you were very close with your brother, but personally, I don't believe in the whole "blood is thicker than water" business - you don't have this magical obligation to put your family before friends no matter what, especially if you don't get along with them anyway.