[ SECRET POST #2580 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2580 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 082 secrets from Secret Submission Post #369.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Being a Military Brat (wiki quotes w/ commentary)

[othellia]

Quotes I think are especially apt from the military brat wikipedia article:

- A major influence is the fact of frequent moves, as the family follows the military member-parent (or in some cases, both parents who are military members) who is (are) transferred from military base to military base, each move usually being hundreds or thousands of miles in distance. Other shaping forces include a culture of resilience and adaptivity, constant loss of friendship ties, a facility or knack for making new friends, never having a hometown, and extensive exposure to foreign cultures and languages while living overseas or to a wide range of regional cultural differences due to living in a variety of different American regions. (Pretty much a summary of a lot of what I just said.)

- Some bases also contain unique features, such as air bases with numerous aircraft and attendant noise, or seaports with large numbers of naval vessels. (Forgot to mention this, but yeah. Seeing battleships and aircraft carriers and jets is NBD to me.)

- Bases do form communities, but due to most of them experiencing frequent 100% turnover in just a few years, an adult military brat can never return and find old friends, neighbors or even former teachers, on bases where they grew up. […] Due to revocation of base privileges upon reaching the age of 18 (or 23 if one attends college), access to bases to reminisce or reconnect with one's places of growing up can also be difficult. (Oh yeah. It was 21 for me because I’d just graduated and hadn’t renewed my military ID before hand. Otherwise I might’ve gotten away with at least another year, if not two.)

- Regardless of race, religion, nationality, or gender, brats might identify more with other highly mobile children than with non-mobile ones. (The most I felt “at home” in Florida was in this ESL school I volunteered at. I relate to people who’ve moved at least once if not more than any biological/demographic thing.)

- The transitory lifestyle can hinder potential for constructing concrete relationships with people and developing emotional attachments to specific places. (Outside my family, there’s only one friend I’ve kept in contact with for more than 3 years. When you get used to moving so much, it’s so easy to, well… not “give up” on people, but more like let go? Because you know everything is temporary and every relationship has its beginning, middle, and end.)

- Although neither a clearly negative or positive trait, studies also show that many adult military brats report difficulty settling down in one geographic location and also report a desire to move (relocate) every few years; many adult military brats call this "the itch". (Since I’m feeling it already, I’m really hoping “the itch” eventually goes away.)

- Overall a majority of military brats report having developed a kind of extra-adaptability and assimilate into new situations quickly and well, as they have done with each move to a new military base, town or country. Yet paradoxically, long-term feelings of being an outsider in relation to civilian (non-military) culture are common to a majority of military brats. For example, one major study shows that 32% of military brats feel as if they are only spectators on U.S. life, and another 48% do not feel as if they are central to any group. (Crossed out the only part I personally don't identify with.)

- Military life is strictly segregated by rank; the facilities provided for officers and enlisted personnel differ dramatically. The officers' housing will generally be more accessible to base activities, larger in size, and better landscaped. (Also, forgot this. Both my parents were officers, which made some experiences a lot different than if they’d been enlisted. Didn’t affect too much since I lived off base, but for on base functions there were sometimes a lot of internal “my parent is ranked higher/lower than you” weird vicarious social status thinking going around.)

- Recent studies show that, although brats move on average every 3 years, they do not grow accustomed to moving. The constantly changing environment and openness to others has a price. Rather than develop problem-solving skills, there is a temptation to simply leave a problem without resolving it. (Hahahaha... haha... ha... yeah, this is true.)

- Moving during the summer months can be challenging. […] Moving during the winter holidays or mid-year, however, has traditionally been viewed as the worst time to move. (Also, also, forgot this. My mom tended to know that we were going to move within several months of having to do so, but it’s almost like rumors, not 100% confirmed. Sometimes the confirmation comes early so we had time to plan. Other times we had exactly one month to pack our stuff, sell the house, and arrive in location X. Luckily for me, my mom was always able to arrange stuff so that we moved during the summer.)

- Military spouses reported the following when their spouse was deployed:
• Predeployment — Marital stress/conflict, distancing from spouse, anger, resentment, sadness/depression, negative child behavior.
• Deployment — Marital problems, isolation, loneliness, anger, resentment, sadness/depression, reduced communications, stress, less social support, assuming the role of single parent, child care difficulties, sleep disturbances, physical symptoms, home and car repairs, difficulty accessing military services, negative child behavior.
• Postdeployment/Reunion — Redefining responsibilities, marital stress, communication problems, anxiety, anger, resentment, parent-child attachment issues[74]
(Look at all that stress. Woo!)

- While separation produces stress, according to the US military it strengthens the children by forcing them to take on additional responsibilities when a parent is absent, encouraging independence. (Talked about this too. This article did it in less words.)

- Noted military brat researcher Mary Edwards Wertsch polled 85 ex-military children as to whether or not they liked the term "military brat", and only five respondents (5.9% of the study group) objected to the term. (Never personally met a fellow brat who objected.)