[ SECRET POST #2584 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2584 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.
[Danball Senki Wars]


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02.
[Harry Potter]


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03.
[Burn Notice]


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04.
[The Island of Doctor Moreau]


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05.
[Papers, Please]


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06.
[Star Trek: The Next Generation]


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07.
[Pretty Little Liars]


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08.
[KILL LA KILL]


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09.
[Labyrinth, The Hobbit]

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10.
[The Hobbit]


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11.
[The Hobbit]


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12.
[The Kiss of the Spider Woman]














Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 029 secrets from Secret Submission Post #369.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Congratulations on finding your love!

Now it's time for you start taking your desires and putting them into action.

You must do the sacred spell to transform your animated love into a real person.

You will need:
-a bundle of sage
-two ounces of elderberries
-a small man-shaped effigy made from wood
-a mortar and pestle
-matches
-porcelain bowl
-marshmallow fluff

To start, light one end of the bundle of sage. Walk around the edges of the room, waving the bundle furiously. Make sure to extinguish it after you're done. You don't want to start a fire -- not on this, your day of days.

Take the elderberries and grind them in the mortar and pestle while chanting the following:
"Berries of elder, clear the path,
Light the passage, ear the wax,
Call his name, bring him forth,
Trim his fat, freeze his warts."

Sprinkle the resulting elderberry mush in a wide circle around the room. Make the circle as wide as you can. You want there to be a sufficiently large landing pad. Otherwise, you might wind up chopping off one of his limbs (and that's the best case scenario. I'll let your imagination fill in the blanks).

Now, place the porcelain bowl in the center of the circle and light the effigy on fire. Chant the following:
"Cartoon man, cartoon sprite,
Break free
And be
With me
Tonight!
Man of power, man of clout,
Break free
And be
With me
RIGHT NOW!"

Place the effigy in the bowl and step outside of the circle. Even with the circle being as wide as you could make it, there still should be some spots for you to stand, because it's a circle, and the room you're in is probably either square or rectangular. Make sure you have the marshmallow fluff at hand.

Once the effigy has completely burned, there should be a blinding flash, after which your love should appear somewhere within the circle. Go to him immediately and feed him the fluff. He will need the sugar after his ordeal.

Good luck, gentle anon! If you do this right, happiness should be yours!

[(Anonymous)]

What's the superior 3D to 2D one?

[(Anonymous)]

Are you asking how to turn yourself into a cartoon?

[ill_omened]

No, they just want to know how to turn into the platonic form of superior human beings.

In the style of japanese animation.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, I think I might be off-base, but I think the ritual involves some chains and a cave.