[ SECRET POST #2597 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2597 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 047 secrets from Secret Submission Post #371.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - titc ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

tl;dr my friends 5-10 years ago all sucked

[dethtoll]

This is going to be a very long post, as this question has dredged up some uuuugly memories for me.

Most of the time friendship dissolutions for me happen slowly and quietly and we just stop talking.

But there are a couple of major, painful disconnects from several years back, mostly involving a lot of the same people.

Cast of characters: H, J, A, R, H-GF, and J-GF.

H is an MMO nut. I haven't spoken to him in many years, but I know that he's probably still playing fucking MMOs and doing zippo with his life.

J used to be something of a womanchild with an obsession with marijuana, a complete lack of ambition/desire to get ahead, an inability to deal with emotional issues, and a tendency to, when things go pear-shaped, invent details and project personal failings onto other people.

A was once a good friend, got sucked into MMOs and last I saw her has gained like a million pounds and is still playing fucking MMOs.

R was once a very close friend, but was essentially an overgrown teenager who bashed stuff I liked just to piss me off but got VERY ANGRY if anyone trashed stuff she liked, would often dredge up very, very old shit from years ago to use as ammo in arguments, and refused to take responsibility for her own participation in an argument and would blame others for everything. She got even more unbearable after she got a boyfriend. She was also an abject, slobbering Blizzard fangirl and once told me that it's okay if Blizzard ripped off Games Workshop, because Warhammer 40K (which she had never played, but knew I enjoyed) sucks.

H-GF was H's girlfriend and also a friend of A. I didn't know her too well.

J-GF was J's (sort of) girlfriend and also a one-time friend of mine but we started to drift apart. R didn't seem to like her, but that didn't really amount to much -- I get the impression that R hated other girls in general.

ACT I:

H and H-GF had a fight -- H-GF basically completely screwed H over, broke his heart, and ended up costing him money in the process by cheating him out of a financial investment. A, who had been drifting away from me because of her newfound fucking MMO obsession, got herself involved, taking H-GF's side for no reason other than she and H-GF were friends; I nominally took H's side because I didn't like what H-GF did, but I wasn't that invested in it. A got angry with me because how dare I side with H, H-GF is her FRIEND and I have no idea what the fuck I'm getting involved with blah blah blah. It got worse and worse over the course of a month, and finally we had an argument, where she basically told me that I had no idea what the fuck was going on and I never would because I didn't have any real friends because I was a fat loser. I told her anyone who tells me I don't have any real friends is automatically disqualified from being one.

ACT II:

Some time later, after I'd cut A off, I got into an argument with J. Over what? I was trying to help her pick out computer parts and she just BLEW UP AT ME. For no reason. It'd been several months of her basically snapping at me over stupid shit and basically treating me like my problems were insignificant compared to hers (it's not a fucking contest) and so on, to the point where when I told her that I was in an accident, it went right over her head and she went on talking about how she was upset because she was out of weed, and things kind of came to a head and I basically tore her a new one. Well, J-GF got mad at me about it and screamed at me for it. J found out about it, offered to talk to her about it, but I told her I didn't care. So a couple hours later she goes to talk to J-GF anyway and J-GF gets mad at her. J comes back and gets into a screaming match with me, and basically completely invents a scenario where I forced her to go talk to J-GF -- that was an ugly fight, her basically shrieking at me and I'm telling her "you're yelling at me for something that didn't happen" and that just made her shriek louder, and then she told me that she has a lot of problems she's dealing with (read: she was out of weed and couldn't deal with her parents demanding she get a job) and I should just shut the fuck up, and I called her on that and she just basically screamed FUCK YOU repeatedly and stormed off.

Amazingly, we made up after that, but I ended up avoiding her as much as possible for a little while. And she and J-GF broke up and J-GF kind of disappeared, good riddance.

ACT III:

Couple years later...

So, even before the fight with J in Act II, several of our mutual friends had grown very tired of her obsession with pot and yuri manga and absolutely nothing else -- it was impossible to hold a conversation with her on any subject that wasn't one of those two, and she was basically doing a good job at being even more of a vegetable than Terri Schiavo, to the consternation of everyone. At one point I unloaded on H my frustrations with J. (Remember this detail, it becomes important in Act IV.) That had been going on in the background for some time, and my increased exasperation with her probably started bleeding through to the point where she actually fucking noticed -- by which I mean I had to explain it explicitly to her. Cue a fight over something stupid -- she was like OMG LISTEN TO THIS SONG and I'm like "J why do you keep making me listen to shit you know I don't care about" and she blew up at me. "omg you don't like anything" (read: you don't like what I like) and basically a whole bunch of hypocrisy followed. It was stupid, but the argument petered out, probably because in terms of what we argued about, that was especially fucking pointless. Little while later there's another fight over a misunderstanding and she got mad at me for being upset with her, which devolved into her bringing up the music argument, only it was a COMPLETELY different recollection as to what happened -- and then she accused me of bringing the music argument up. (If you haven't figured it out, J was/is some seriously damaged goods.) And finally it ended up resulting in me telling her exactly what I thought of her at the time -- and I told her outright that she needs to grow the fuck up and that all our mutual friends think she's an idiot too. (In retrospect, that was cruel of me, and at least two people -- H included -- told me they wished I hadn't done that.)

Amazingly we made up, and she agreed that she needed to try and grow up a little and I agreed not to make fun of her behind her back anymore.

ACT IV: Literally a few days later.

I post a link to gog.com and say "hey, here's a site that sells old games and fixes them up so they're playable on newer machines."

That was it. That was my crime. I get a message from R, and she's furious with me. She took it as a personal attack, because she had been making several posts about how PC gaming sucks and is for rich assholes obsessed with graphics over gameplay blah blah blah -- deliberately trying to irritate me, basically. This resulted in an argument. H cut in blaming me for the argument and said he wasn't talking to me anymore, not that we ever talked much anymore anyway because MOTHERFUCKER PLAYS WOW 24/7 and I told him that -- and I also gave him shit for a snap judgment on a situation he knew nothing about because he doesn't do anything but play MMOs all day. His response was to tattle to J about my venting of frustrations about her from the previous week, despite knowing that we'd made up. That was it for him.

Oh, and after a couple more arguments with R over the next several months that friendship fell through too -- and of course it ended with her basically dragging up stupid shit I did 10 years earlier and acting like I hadn't changed at all, when the truth is she was still the same person I met in 2000, right down to the teenager attitude. I pointed that out to her and she just blew up at me. Whatever.

Out of all these people the only one I'm still friends with is J, and I suspect that means something.