fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2605 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2605 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Slenderman]

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[Saints Row 3]

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[Doctor Who]

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[Welcome to Night Vale, My Mad Fat Diary]

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[The Middle]

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[Steven Universe]

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[Kyuhyun and Seohyun]

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[Disney]

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[Teen Wolf]

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[Thor: Dark World]

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[The Avengers/Clark Gregg]

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[Teen Wolf]

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[Hannibal]

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[Fate/Stay Night]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 036 secrets from Secret Submission Post #372.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The friends I'd usually ask about this kind of thing are SJW types who think it's horrible to speculate about someone's sexuality, but I have no idea in this case and I'd really like to know whether I (female) have a shot or not.

All I know: was married to a woman but "it just didn't work out" (I don't know any specifics) and they're now divorced. He mentioned going to a strip club for his friend's bachelor party and it "made him really uncomfortable" because he doesn't like looking at naked women. And when he got something on his pants someone made some joke about people checking out his ass, and he said that he didn't want anyone looking at his ass. He said "anyone" and didn't specify gender so I guess that could go either way.

I guess one way to find out would be to ask him, but we work together so I don't want to just come out and be like "hey, are you into guys or girls?" because that just sounds awkward and weird (and could maybe be considered sexual harassment even?). There have been times when I've gotten the vibe that maybe he liked me, but then he talks about disliking naked women and not wanting anyone to look at his ass so I'm wondering if maybe he's gay.

I don't know...it's confusing. If he's gay, or if he's straight but not into me that's fine, I just wish I knew so I could move on, but at the same time we have a lot in common and I really like him. I'd hate to miss out on a potential good thing and there's just enough that makes me think there's the slightest possibility that he's interested in me, too.

So, yeah. I know this is a pretty stupid question, but...how do I figure it out? I have no idea how to even go about it without being really obvious.

They tell you.

But from the sounds of it, it doesn't sound like he's interested in you.

If he says he's gay, he's probably gay. That's the only way to know for sure. There are straight guys who exhibit "gay" traits and gay guys who don't.

I'm sorry to say I can't think of a way for you to ask appropriately. I hope you come up with something.

Just be obvious?

Sometimes being blunt is the most effective and least painful way to solve your problem. Be like, "Hey, do you like women? If so, would you like to go out?" You'll have your answer in under five seconds.

Ask him out or move on. Doesn't matter if he's gay or not, you'll find your answer if you ask him out.

Yes. Sort of.

Maybe he's gay and he'll tell you. Maybe he's gay and he won't tell you. Maybe he's straight. But I think most people don't appreciate it when you speculate or question their sexuality. You don't need to know his sexuality. You just need to know if he's interested in you. And his being straight doesn't necessarily mean you have a shot. Sorry to be blunt, but it's true.

ayrt

You don't need to know his sexuality. You just need to know if he's interested in you.

Yup, that's exactly what I meant! Said it better than I.

Agreed. Someone else's sexual orientation only matters if you're in a relationship with them.

So ask him out if you're interested. You'll either get a yes or a no, and the no doesn't necessarily mean he's not straight, just that he's not interested. And that should be good enough.

The question you're really asking is how to tell if he's interested in you.

You could be blunt and ask him if he's gay.

You could be subtle and ask if he'd like to go for lunch/coffee/drinks after work. If he says yes, you can get to know him better. If he says no, you can move on.

Good luck.

Seconding that there isn't a "way to tell" except either him telling you or you asking him out.

It really doesn't matter what his orientation is. He's either interested in you or not. The reason for either isn't needed.

So ask him out. He says no he's no interested in you. He says yes, he is.

Problem solved.

What you really want to know is if he's interested in you, which means you should probably just ask him out for coffee or some such.

I don't know if it's "horrible" but it really isn't any of your business.

I think you're reading too much into it. There's lots of straight guys who wouldn't be too comfortable at a strip club.

This. Strip clubs are skeezy and shitty 9/10 times.

That, and I'm not even sure how not wanting people to look at your butt might mean you're gay. Do I not know something.

Yeah, wouldn't he want guys to be looking at it if he was gay?

Or maybe all gay guys are just naturally very protective of their asses?

There's so many THINGS here.

I'm gay and self conscious about my butt but I don't those necessarily go together.

There's one *really* easy way to tell.

You ask. Or, better yet, do as everyone has suggested and just ask him out and move on if he turns you down regardless of the reason.

You ask him.

If he says he's gay, he's either gay or he's really desperately trying to avoid you.

There is no magic "tell" for homosexuality.

Honestly I'd think asexual before gay given what you've said, but there's really no way to know for sure without asking him.

Thinking that it's crass to speculate about someone's sexual orientation is an SJW thing now? Have you ever considered the possibility that whether or not someone is gay falls into the large category of Personal Stuff That is None of Your Damn Business, and that's why it's kind of horrible for you to treat it like a fascinating topic of conversation?

This is really an overreaction. OP isn't speculating because it's "a fascinating topic of conversation", she's speculating because she feels uncomfortable/embarrassed about asking him directly, because she's interested. As in, it's relevant (to a degree) to her, personally. It's a natural thing to wonder about someone if you're interested in them, but haven't worked up the courage to ask them out--whether they're gay/straight/other, whether they're single/taken/other, whether they're into you or not, all kinds of things. So I think this response is rather out of proportion.

[ SECRET POST #2605 ]

How to tell if a guy is gay or not?

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That doesn't matter.

Re: How to tell if a guy is gay or not?

Re: How to tell if a guy is gay or not?

Re: How to tell if a guy is gay or not?

Re: How to tell if a guy is gay or not?

Re: How to tell if a guy is gay or not?

Re: How to tell if a guy is gay or not?

Re: How to tell if a guy is gay or not?

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Re: How to tell if a guy is gay or not?

Re: How to tell if a guy is gay or not?

Re: How to tell if a guy is gay or not?

Re: How to tell if a guy is gay or not?