fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2611 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2611 ⌋

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 045 secrets from Secret Submission Post #372.
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(reply from suspended user)

Well,the time I was in a psychiatric hospital was probably one of the few times in my life I actually felt somewhat safe, and had a sense of order in my life. Which was great.

Pretty much the only good experience I've had with it, tbh.

I'd like to thank Prozac and an awesome kid/teen psychologist for embracing my second-semester-senior, terrified-of-college, mononucleosis-ridden, just-come-out-to-my-parents, depressed 17-year-old self. They gave me the energy to speak again.

Adderall saved me in college. I was late to get diagnosed with ADHD and wish I could have known earlier, but the day I started on meds was amazing. My grades immediately reflected it and I even got compliments and notice from professors.

When I was voluntarily committed, the doctor whose care I was under was very compassionate, but not condescending. He read me very well, and gave me a lot of resources when I was discharged, on top of giving me a concrete diagnosis. He treated me more like a person than anyone had before about my issues.

The therapist I saw after that was amazing. I went through the clinic at my school. I had been scared of therapists (the one I saw as a child when my parents divorced was a lying liar who lied), and he was great. He let me take as much time as I needed to trust him, and I eventually felt like I really could talk about anything. I really missed him when his internship ended.

In my last year of college, a combination of a concrete diagnosis of Aspergers, a prescription of agomelatine for the depression and insomnia, and a wonderfully logical/pragmatic therapist from the student health organisation seemed to do a fair-to-great job of breaking what had previously been a 10+ year cycle of major depressive episodes. It's been four years since that point, and I haven't yet hit the lows I hit in the 10 years beforehand, despite some severe life-event provocation that probably should have caused it.

There are some side effects (occasional itchiness and somewhat increased risk of migraine), but I'm too happy being more functional than I'd been for literally half my life beforehand to mind overmuch. Even if it had done absolutely nothing for my educational or financial future, college would still have been the best thing I ever did just for access to that care.

When I was in college, I had an amazing therapist. He was great - he was patient, always listened to me, and gave great advice. He was even willing to learn about new subject matters just to help me more - he had never had a trans patient before me, for instance, and yet he was great about it. He never fucked anything up (the one time he got my pronouns wrong, he instantly apologized without making a big deal about it), he learned all about trans issues, and he advocated on my behalf to some of the college faculty.

He moved to a different state just before my last semester of college. I still miss him. Maybe I should email him and let him know how I'm doing...

If you're up for it, I say go for it. I'm sure he'd love hearing from you and knowing how much of an impact he left. <3

I'd like to thank my therapist for helping me pin-point the root of a lot of my emotional issues, and teaching me coping skills in how to deal with them. It's a slow, steady process each day, but I feel better than I did maybe 2 years ago, for sure.

My current counselor is such a blessing. I had four in high school, some for short periods of time and others long, and never really got comfortable with any of them. I ended on a pretty bad note with my last one and didn't really want to deal with counseling again, so I stopped. I saw someone briefly in college but she was an intern or something at the counseling center and that didn't accomplish anything.

A couple years ago my mom talked me into trying counseling again, saying she'd heard about someone from a recommendation of some sort who was supposed to be wonderful. I reluctantly went (I was getting kind of desperate for some kind of help/support). She and I clicked right away. Cliche as it sounds, she "gets" me like no other counselor I've had and within a few sessions I was understanding things about myself I really had not understood before. I've been seeing her on and off for a couple of years and made a huge amount of progress emotionally and I think I've matured a lot.

Sertraline has also been a huge help.

My mom took me in to see a therapist (er, I guess, idk she called him a "shrink" lol) when I was a kid, but pretty quickly he figured out that she was the one with clinical depression, not me. He was a nice guy and helped her out a lot.

Honestly, overall, we've had better luck with mental health care professionals than physical doctors.

I haven't found a drug combination that works, but the book When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within by McKay, Rogers, and McKay helped immensely.

My psych drugs are the only reason I can function. And personally I had a great experience the one time I was in an in-patient facility. It helped me work through stuff I really needed to work through and wouldn't have been able to otherwise.

After my mom died, I just stopped going to school. I couldn't muster enthusiasm for anything and spent every day, from the time I woke up to the time I went to sleep, talking about fiction with my sister. If I spent too much time not thinking about fiction, I'd remember what happened and start feeling really anxious and obsessing about the hypothetical deaths of my remaining loved ones. As you'd expect, my grades declined and my B average was a D average after about 3 semesters. When I finally had to go in to resolve the problems with my grades, Student Affairs referred me to counseling. I met this counselor who was really great (and free), who told me that everything I was feeling was normal and not pathetic. I didn't see her for long but because of her, I started doing my homework again and going to classes. My anxiety became more manageable, too. She was amazing.

I've seen three shrinks throughout my 21 shrinks and I can honestly say that I've liked all of them.

*my 21 years.

I am an idiot.

I went my whole adolescence being misdiagnosed as bipolar, so at first mess were always a mixed bag for me. But as an adult I picked my own doctor and had more confidence in expressing what I was experiencing, and was able to be properly diagnosed as aspergers, social anxiety, and general anxiety with a bit of ocd. Therapy has been more help than anything, but I am super happy with my anxiety meds. They are a bit low key -- buspirone just takes the edge off of my panic -- but coupling that with therapy has had a dramatic turnaround on my relationships and my happiness. Everyone tells me they can see the difference too.

Life is still a struggle. It always will ne. But I am so much more confident now than before and I don't have downwardly spiraling thoughts when I am upset. I am so thankful for my doctors. I went through three and finally found the right one, but it was worth even trying a medicine or two.

At first meds*

[ SECRET POST #2611 ]

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