fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2616 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2616 ⌋

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DA, btw

Because it feeds into a sex-negative culture that makes people feel ashamed and dirty for liking things that are harmless and enjoyable. This is especially damaging to women, who are often already fighting against the cultural message that they shouldn't have any sexual desires or preferences of their own to begin with, or they're "sluts." People with kinks outside the mainstream often have a whole additional level of societal shame to work through, and feeding into that shame for no good reason doesn't help anybody.

That's not even getting into the fact that many rape survivors have a rape-kink in the fiction they enjoy, and criticizing how a survivor processes their own trauma when it doesn't harm anyone else is also "problematic."

I don't really think it does though, as someone who has a lot of non-mainstream kinks including rape. If they actually are calling people sluts or telling people they shouldn't have kinks then yes. But if they're just saying "I don't like this kink, it crosses a line for me and I see problems with it.", they are just talking about how they feel. If it's a public forum where people can talk openly about their kinks, then people can talk about their squicks. I don't think they really need to use the "it's okay" disclaimer any more than people need to say "it's okay if this squicks you".

Saying, "I don't like this kink, it crosses a line for me" isn't kink-shaming. That's not what anyone is arguing against. That's just part of YKINMK. It's people saying things like, "This kink is gross and anyone who likes it is fucked-up" that are the problem - and yes, people do say that.

I feel like we're both saying the same thing to each other but presenting it as an argument for some reason so I'm gonna go ahead and drop it.

Oh god yes, I have such a problem with the way so many people behave towards rape in fiction and act as if you can only write it if you do it "right," which is extremely offensive to actual survivors because it implies that there is only one correct way to respond to rape. I have a friend who spent months thinking there was something WRONG with her because she wasn't horribly traumatized and scarred for life after it happened to her.

Maybe the person is writing it that way because it's there kink, or maybe they're writing it that way because they're using it as a coping method for their own experience. You don't know, and that's why telling someone that they wrote rape "wrong" is so offensive and fucked-up.

*they're dammit phone what was that even for

[ SECRET POST #2616 ]

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