[ SECRET POST #2622 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2622 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 076 secrets from Secret Submission Post #375.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: No but...

[(Anonymous)]

OP anon

This is kind of the situation and why I asked. I have an online friend that has just done/said a few odd things now and then and I was curious - it would also help me be more patient with his hmm, quirks, if I knew. It would definitely not be meant as an insult or a dig or anything, just as a way to help out our friendship.

But I think I shall just attempt to be patient with him regardless and not actually ask, as the consensus seems to be it would be rude to ask.

Re: No but...

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Um. It maybe depends on your friendship, but if the things he's doing are odd in the sense of offensive or uncomfortable, it might help him to know that? It's always really embarrassing and horrible when someone points out something I'm doing, but I tend to think it's better to know so I a) know there's something concrete I'm doing that's maybe making people react funny, and b) can keep it in mind so I can try and stop.

You don't have to bring Aspergers or Autism into it, there are any number of things that can lead to people acting weird, but you can maybe just ask the next time he does something weird why he's doing it? If he doesn't know it's weird, it might help him to, and if he does know and is doing it on purpose, then maybe you might mention it anyway so he knows you're weirded out.

I don't know, maybe your circumstances are different, but generally I'd prefer honesty about these things.

Re: No but...

[(Anonymous)]

As another Aspie I agree with this. I'd just mention the behavior as nothing but a behavior if it's something he's done repeatedly that makes you uncomfortable. Aspie or not, I think most people would want to know.

Re: No but...

[(Anonymous)]

OP

Thank you, you and both the other Aspie anons. This is really good advice, I'll try and work it into conversation next time one of his odd behaviors presents itself. I'm just really bad at any type of confrontation and a bit paranoid about coming off as rude, so wasn't sure how to handle this.

Re: No but...

[dancing_clown]

You shouldn't need a diagnosis to be "patient with his quirks." Either you are or you aren't.

Re: No but...

[(Anonymous)]

Hm, I think I'm explaining things wrong. But I'm not sure how to explain. However the other anons offer good advice.

Re: No but...

[(Anonymous)]

But it's the behavior that's the issue here, not the label, right? So address the behavior.

"Hey friend, did you just say [odd thing]? Because that's not really okay."

You don't have to humiliate your friend, but friends should be able to check each other if/when something weird happens.