fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2624 ]

[ SECRET POST #2624 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2624 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Outlander]

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03.

[The Walking Dead]

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04.

[How I Met Your Mother]

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05.

[Twitch Plays Pokemon]

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06.

[Batman, Kill La Kill, Borderlands]

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07.

[Overlord]

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08.

[Red Dwarf]

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09.

[Paranatural]

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10.

[Pitch Perfect]

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11.

[Insidious: Chapter 2]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 053 secrets from Secret Submission Post #375.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So, my brother and his girlfriend got back from six months overseas yesterday, and are staying with us until they find somewhere to rent. Could be up to a month.

...It's been less than 24 hours and they've already driven me up the wall.

So far, they have:

- Turned our mother's bedroom into a complete disaster area (they're staying in there, mother is sleeping on the sofa in the study).
- Turned the study, where my computer is, into a slightly lesser disaster.
- Also, the bathroom.
- Spooked the cats with the change of routine.
- Already eaten an entire package of my favorite crackers and finished off the orange juice and nearly all the hommus.
- Nearly lost the apartment keys in a public part of the building.
- Left the balcony door unlatched (we're in a lower apartment and it is possible to climb up to it) AND left the front door unlocked when they left for the day, despite explicitly asking them to check the locks before they leave the balcony/apartment.
- And it's about to get worse since they both eat meat and neither I nor my mother do and there'll be meat in the fridge :(

I'm sorry, I love my brother and enjoy his and his girlfriend's company quite a bit, but they're driving me insane - I like them VISITING, but our living styles are... not compatible. Any tips on how not to commit fratricide?

...To be fair, them having a different diet from you isn't exactly their fault, or the very least isn't solely their fault. Nor is your cats getting spooked since, well, chances are that would happen regardless of what they did.

As for tips...I usually just remind myself "It's temporary, this too will pass" type of stuff when I get angry, and take time for myself to calm down again.

...And can you not ask them to clean up the messes? If so, you totally should b/c that shit is being a bad guest.

Well, it's mostly because they still have their luggage and they've been unpacking and all that stuff, but honestly? It's a small apartment that's really NOT meant for four people and all their stuff.

And yeah, I know it's not their fault, it's just... bugging me a bit? I wanted to vent because it's frustrating me having my routine changed and having the place not in order (I'm a neat freak, my mother is reasonably tidy, and they're the complete opposite) and all that. It's not that their way of living is inherently bad, and we get along great, but we do have clashing lifestyles, and it's getting to me not having things the way they normally should be.

I think there will be a lot of repeating, "It's just temporary, it's just temporary, it's just temporary"!

-Label any personal food items that you don't want other people eating, at least until they learn what's communal and what isn't.
-Put up a dry erase board on the fridge and ask them to write down anything they use up so it can go on the shopping list.
-Rearrange items in the fridge/freezer so you can create a section designated for meat, if you're worried about dripping/contamination.
-Make a couple extra sets of keys.
-Continue reminding them to lock up when they leave.
-Ask them to help you keep the study and the bathroom tidy - in fact, ask them to sit down with you and work out a chore-rotation together.

The cats will adjust pretty soon, and as long as they're not leaving food trash in your mother's room and are willing to clean it up before they leave, you may have to let them keep their living space the way they're comfortable.

That sounds good. I've already moved some of my favorite snack foods (the non-perishable ones) and some sealable containers into my room, so it's just the perishables that I'd need to worry about. And yeah, I think I'll work on rearranging the fridge - it'd mostly be deli slices and pre-cooked stuff, thank god (mother's already requested that they don't cook meat using our cookware, which they agree to), so hopefully it won't be TOO bad.

They do have keys, though, and I'll talk to them about the doors and keeping things tidy.

Thank you!

I hope my suggestions pay off, and you're able to work out a more pleasant arrangement with them. Good luck! :)

Thank you!

I don't have advice but I feel your pain. my sister and her fiance are horrible. they just sit around making a mess and letting my mum and me clean up after them. like my mum or I will make dinner--have to yell to get them off their video game and come eat. during dinner, my sister eats with perhaps the worst table manners of all time. after dinner, they'll go back to gaming and my mum and I clean up. and when they eat snacks or make their own lunches, they'll leave dishes and trash around everywhere. the house is always a wreck after they've been around to visit. it's so frustrating!!

Wow, I think I should consider myself lucky that they're not that bad! (I've just had to put a few plates and glasses away.) Our lives just aren't compatible - otherwise, they're fine.

If they're from over seas, they MIGHT have lived some place that didn't have as stringent rules about locking up. Could be why they hadn't thought to check. and less than 24 hours? to eat a few things? I think that's a bit unfair. Hell, I can go through a good jug of juice in a few hours.

They're not from overseas, they've just been vacationing. But yeah, I'll remind them to keep checking the door before they go.

And true, it's just... a mild shock to the system. Like, we'd buy a jug of orange juice once a week, but they drink more juice than either of us (I usually just drink water), so we're going to have to buy a lot more... But yeah, I'll try to be more fair on them.

Have you mentioned any of this to them? Some people don't realize when they're crossing boundaries or causing frustration. Just have a talk with them and set some boundaries, let them know where you're at.

There's always an adjustment period when people move in and routines change, communication and time could solve a lot of your frustrations.

I might talk to them when they get back today (I haven't had a chance yet, since it was only after they left for the day that I actually recognized how relieved I was that they weren't there!) - if nothing else, we HAVE to address the door thing, since that's an actual safety issue, but I'll also ask them about cleaning up after themselves.

They're both fairly mature, just... messy. We'll try to work something out.

I'm going to have to go with the sentiment that the last one is not an actual problem, so long as they don' expect you to eat the meat. Being in close proximity to commercially packaged, sealed meat is not going to hurt you.

Suggestion: family meeting time! In cheerful, non-accusatory tones, tell everyone that since four people will be sharing a small apartment for an indefinite period of time, you should all draw up some house rules to make things easier for everyone. Note the emphasis. It's not to curb peoples' inconsiderate behavior (though it kinda is) it's for the purpose of having things run smoothly at home so things aren't crazy hectic. This is where you set down rules about:

* food and ownership of food, such as keeping food purchases separate, no eating each other's food and replacing food that's been eaten accidentally or because of an emergency.

*bathroom schedule. Yeah, you can't predict when you'll need to go, but shower times can certainly be scheduled.

* no mess in common areas. it's one thing if the room where they're staying is a mess, but people who make a mess in the living room, kitchen, bathroom, etc. must clean it up.

* designate one set place for the keys and leave them there when not in use, always. Get a huge-ass keychain for the set of spare keys so they don't get easily lost or left behind.

And most importantly, whatever you decide, ask their input on what guidelines they think are fair and get them to agree to it. You don't have to make them sign anything, it's just a handy reminder whenever you need to say, "Oh, I noticed that you ate my crackers, so I'll need you to replace them as soon as possible-- LIKE WE AGREED."

(I really feel for your mom especially; I would hate it if my room was messy and I couldn't clean it up!)

Sit down with them and have a conversation about keeping the house tidy and locking the doors. The best way to let them know what you want is by talking to them about it. You may have to have the conversation several times before it sticks. Good luck!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2624 ]

Help me not to murder my brother!

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Re: Help me not to murder my brother!

Re: Help me not to murder my brother!

Re: Help me not to murder my brother!

Re: Help me not to murder my brother!

Re: Help me not to murder my brother!

Re: Help me not to murder my brother!

Re: Help me not to murder my brother!

Re: Help me not to murder my brother!

Re: Help me not to murder my brother!

Re: Help me not to murder my brother!