fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2625 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2625 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Thanks, that means a lot. It is a grad school application, so I guess it's competitive and all. I just feel really ashamed and don't know where to go from here if I don't get into any schools. I don't know where my applications went wrong, how to make them better, or if I should just take a different direction in my life.

AYRT

Definitely been there then. What general field, if you don't mind me asking? Grad school is definitely incredibly competitive, and depending on the program, admissions can be a legit crapshoot. I wouldn't say that your applications necessarily went wrong anywhere-- there are so many things that factor into these kinds of decisions. Like I said, though, I've been there, so if you have any questions you think this anon could answer, I'm here to help!

I know how demoralizing it can be, since especially grad school applications can feel like a culmination of everything you've worked so hard for. But I'll also say that most people I know who took time off or didn't get in their first/second round of applications said that they felt like the time really helped them out. I don't mean this to say your applications weren't super awesome-- I'm sure they were!-- or that you won't get in anywhere, just to say that other people are here in solidarity, and it doesn't mean they aren't/weren't smart or cut out for their chosen field.

That said, admissions season is also a great time to figure out what you really want to be doing with your life, and whether you want to go to grad school or it was the choice that made sense or both or neither! This kind of optimism always kind of annoyed me when I was in that place, so I'm sorry for being annoying if I am, but now is an awesome time to be able to figure out what you want most.

Wishing you all the best!

This is all so kind of you to say, I really appreciate it. I was applying for history programs. It was kind of a specific area of history, so I didn't think it would be very competitive. I have no idea. My grades were pretty good, I have great references, what I thought was a strong writing sample, and odds and ends that I thought would make my application look interesting. But maybe none of those areas were "the best" - there's always a stronger candidate out there, I guess. I know in my head that sometimes it's all about luck, and even perseverance, but it's just hard to grasp that emotionally when I look at these rejection letters. I took two years off after graduating college trying to figure things out, and deciding to go to grad school and study this was a huge relief and gave me a sense of direction, and now I feel like I might have to go back to square one, give up on this, and be older and undecided still. :( Sorry to unload this. I'll be okay, it's just the insecurities. But you're right, everything you say does make sense, I just have to process everything and realize that. I feel like it's all culminating on a sort of mid-life crisis (early mid-life?) where I feel like I'm getting older, need a career path, want to follow my dream, and holding off another year is painful - and there's no guarantee I'd get in next year, either.

I'm sorry; I wish I had something better or more helpful to say. All I can give you is my experience, which is that the hurt of it does subside somewhat eventually. Applying for anything is a humbling (and often truly awful!) experience, and all you can do sometimes is try to keep reminding yourself that you're an awesome, smart person (which I'm sure you are!) regardless of any piece of paper (degree, admissions letter, or otherwise).

It's definitely especially difficult if this was a hard-won decision, so to speak. But take solace in the fact that it sounds like you still have more places to hear from, and even if things don't work out this time around, maybe it'll be so that something even better works out a month or a year from now. It's definitely not easy, and I'm really not one of those people generally who thinks everything is always for the best-- I just think that somehow we all bumble along and most of us end up in a good place regardless of the pitfalls.

I really hope everything works out for you!

[ SECRET POST #2625 ]

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