fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2635 ]

[ SECRET POST #2635 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2635 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

[Casshern (film)]

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02.

[cosplay, Anthony Misiano]

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03. http://i.imgur.com/4s3vCwo.png
[link for nudity/etc. naked mpreg snape with boobs.]

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04. http://i.imgur.com/aQi1eUV.png
[link for nudity (OP requested it; not really sexual though. probably would've been ok, considering the one below ↓)]

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05.

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06.

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07.

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08. [posted twice]

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09.

[Josh Radnor]

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

10. [SPOILERS for Sherlock]

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11. [SPOILERS for Grimm]

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12. [SPOILERS for Twisted]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

13. [WARNING for ephebophilia]

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14. [WARNING for suicide]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #376.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

My friend is trans but not in a place where she can come out of the closet. She wants to find subtle things that she can do to feel more feminine that won't draw attention. I suggested painting her toenails because that's easier to hide than fingernails but she's still afraid.

Any ideas for things she could do?

I know that behaviors aren't inherently masculine or feminine and that people of all genders act in ways that are considered in line with and against their gender. But there are things that are generally seen as feminine and right now my friend would feel better if she could do some of them.

Maybe shave her legs. Also, she could get some nice skin-care products and maybe do a weekly hydration masque or something. So it's not as out-and-out as makeup, but still nice girly skin-pampering.

Hair care products? You could probably get a normally-masculine style using normally feminine products, I don't know...

Sorry, that's all I've come up with.

Jewelry or underwear? Ankle chains can be hidden and some necklaces and bracelets have a more "masculine" design if she wants to start easy.

Is your friend any good at handcrafts? Because in some places crochet/knitting is still seen as "feminine"? She could make stuff for herself, or find a place to donate to, maybe?

maybe some subtle perfume?

Girly underwear?

Nowadays men can wear simple earrings (as in studs) without getting funny looks so she could try that. Waxing and plucking body hair (chest hair, eyebrows, etc.) is also considered gender neutral by a lot of people. She could also invest in scrubs and lotions but she should get unscented ones if she doesn't want it to be noticeable. General nail care (clipping, buffing, etc.) can also make someone feel feminine without using nail polish. Lining your inner rims with a neutral colour (something close to her skin colour) is easy and hard to notice unless you're an inch from a person's face. Hair length is also gender neutral now so she could grow it out if she wants too.

I hope this helps and I wish your friend luck with her situation.

...what are "inner rims"?

/fails at being a woman

I think it's referring to eyelids? That one threw me too.

This entire week has been me "failing to be a woman", ranging from not knowing my own weight to my boyfriend finally establishing himself as a the cook of this relationship. I'm just going to add this to the list, right in between "shaving my lip hair because I'm too lazy to wax" and "why do I not know the names of things in my closet?". :P

Makes me glad how little those things actually matter :)
And god, I will never be the cook in a relationship.

Hey, you're probably better than me! I'm not even trusted with a bowl of milk and cereal at this point - and sadly, there's actually a very good reason for that. It takes a special kind of, um, special to manage to fuck that up not once, not twice, but three times! And yet somehow I've done it. :P

Hilariously enough, a series of inside jokes has culminated in "me knocking up my boyfriend with octuplets", which is part of a broader joke about how despite the fact we seem to externally comply with gender norms (re: appearance), most people are well aware that when it comes to relationship roles, I am "the man" and my boyfriend is "the woman".

(OP)
If you pull down your lower lid and tilt your chin down, you'll see a strip of skin between your lashes and your eye. This goes around your entire eye and is called an "lower/upper inner rim". The top rim is a bitch to line though. Srry if I just confused you more, it can be a little hard to explain.

No, this makes sense. I know what you are talking about, now - eyeliner is one of the only forms of make-up I will occasionally wear - I've just never heard them called that, before. :)

Thank you all for the ideas! I'll pass them by my friend and see what she thinks.

It might sound goofy, but has she tried peeing sitting down? I'm assuming based on your description that she's still using the men's room, but even if her workplace has a multi-user men's john, it has stalls, and most guys maintain a policy of hearing nothing and saying nothing while in there.

Crossing her legs? I see men do it but I know more women do.

Maybe she could take a look at male 'metro' styles and stuff? A lot of metro is basically "feminine self-care/behaviors done by straight, heteronormative men". Then when she gets questioned about it by friends and family, she can publicly take the "trying to score girls because chicks dig this shit" stance while knowing that all of it is really for herself.

She could use clear nail polish, which makes your fingernails more shiny but isn't really obvious.

-Standing with more weight on one leg than the other. Tons of women do this, but I don't notice nearly as many men. Especially if she puts one hip out, or bends the others knee. The less of the latter two, the less noticeable it will be, but it's a big "feminine" move.

-If she crosses her arms, holding her wrists or stacking her forearms with the top hand on the bicep (lower around the ribs, maybe) instead of intertwining them. She can still tuck a hand behind her elbow, which is more between genders, but it's in that direction.

-Other than that, I guess "female" things, like plucking "stray" hairs around her brows -- starting out with, say, 4 or 6 on each brow, so she doesn't wind up with a football field between them.

-Keeping her fingernails slightly longer, maybe just to the end of her fingertips.

-Buying women's runners instead of mens in a neutral or dark color. The only real difference is the width of the visible part of the shoe, and even then some men's shoes are slimming down now.

-Ooh, one I did for a while was just shaving the inch or so above my ankles. My excuse was so people would stop giving me shit about not shaving my legs (ugh, middle school), but for her it would be a (mostly) hairless look just along the bottom of her pant legs, but then if she crosses her legs or otherwise pulls the hem up there would be hair, just in case. (It could also help her master what I discovered is THE MOST difficult part to shave with concentrated focus, before whipping along the rest of her legs.)

Best of luck to her.

There was that thing going around where it was shown that most men take off their shirts completely differently than women (pulling it off from behind the head vs. taking it off arms crossed in front of the body) - while it doesn't apply to me, I've seen a lot of people saying "OMG THAT'S RIGHT I CAN'T DO IT THE OTHER WAY" - so that might be something for her to do when she undresses - at least when she's on her own?

She could also try to buy neutral button-down shirts in the women's department - the buttons are often on the other side in men's shirts so closing the shirt buttons on a female shirt that otherwise looks neutral might be another small thing.

Same with trousers (as in dress slacks). There are a few that look like they could go either way. The big difference are things like the weight of the material and how functional the pockets are, neither of which someone would know unless they're getting up close and personal.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2635 ]

Feminine behaviors

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