[ SECRET POST #2640 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2640 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 031 secrets from Secret Submission Post #377.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[elialshadowpine]

Yeah, my sister (who is also autistic) is that way. She really can't pick up on when people are not interested in whatever subject it is that she's chattering about. And I can see her doing what you describe -- but I don't think it's a lack of empathy so much as it is a difficulty expressing it in a way that other people understand.

I have ADD as well so I tend to think... really, really fast. Which is helpful in ways with social stuff because it means I can think of and dismiss ideas until I come up with something that I think will work. It also depends on the person too. Because I have difficulty with social cues, I pay a lot of attention to individual people (probably more than people realize, considering my memory and cognitive issues) and I try to... hm, if this makes sense, custom-tailor my reaction to them? Sometimes I can get this flat-wrong, and fuck up.

Something I see some other folks with ASD do is apply the same reaction to everyone, and that doesn't work. I have learned to be hyperaware, in a way, of details about people. This is going to be a weird analogy but like Spreadsheet!Anon but in my head (except not creepy). It kinda goes with the rulebook metaphor. So even if it doesn't come to me naturally, I can put the things that I know about the individual together with the reactions that I have "listed" so to speak and figure out which is best likely to work. It just happens at sorta hyperspeed.

It's not been easy, it's not come naturally, and I didn't really even know about ASD until the last five years or so and I didn't even think it applied to me until the last couple, so it's just been something I have had to muddle my way through. It seems to work! But it's very logical, in a way, how I figure out how to react to things properly.

And aw, thank you so much. I don't comment all that frequently, and because of my chronic night-owlism, I'm usually posting long after everyone else has wandered off, so I don't expect most people to see my comments (particularly if I respond to an anon). I really appreciate what you said very much; I really have mostly been winging this and hoping I'm doing okay so it made me smile to hear you say that. :)

[(Anonymous)]

Hey, I do this exact same thing! I have my little mental book where I mark down people's reactions to things so I can try to respond appropriately in the future. (I also default to apologizing constantly just in case lol.) I described it to a friend as living in a country where you don't speak the language, and there's a lot of regional dialect differences, so you mark down the linguistic differences in your basic language handbook and try to roll with it.