fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2649 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2649 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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04. http://i.imgur.com/eD4bGbG.jpg
[frozen, full nudity]

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[AlternateHistory.com : Malê Rising]

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[Amelie]

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

11. [SPOILERS for Superior Spider-Man]

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12. [SPOILERS for Believe]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

13. [WARNING for rape]

[Orwell]

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14. [WARNING for rape]

[Colditz]

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15. [WARNING for child molestation]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #378.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Don't be sorry at all, it's helpful to hear from someone who's been there!

I'm pretty much the same way about the marriage thing (I've always known I didn't want kids and felt pretty sure I wouldn't change my mind so that part never really figured into it), that it was something I would do eventually because it's just what you do. Even when I knew it wasn't what I wanted at the moment I kept thinking that eventually I would want it and it just...hasn't happened. I suppose it still could but it's getting to the point where I don't think it will, and that just depresses me because I hate the idea of not being like everyone else.

It's frustrating because I feel like I *am* happy the way my life is, or at least I could be if I let myself, but I'm too worried about what other people think of me. I *know* I just need to get over it and not care but I don't know how to do that.

AYRT: I feel like you are another me (and yes, it's nice to see someone so similar in many ways). Also an introvert, it's not that I can't be social, but I am happy with my alone time. I don't know if I fit into the asexual umbrella, or if I just have a really low libido, but the net result is the same. :)

In my experience, it was a bit jarring, the moment when you realize, maybe I don't want these things, maybe I won't do them. And I had to put some thought into it, but I came to accept it and actually embrace it.

But I do think you need to let go of the worry about what other people think - focus in on what YOU think, what YOU want. I know it's easier said than done, but you're the one who has to live your life, and you're the one who needs to be happy in it.

Marriage is no guarantee of happiness - there are plenty of abusive relationships, acrimonious divorces. Children are no guarantee that you won't be alone when you're older - visit any nursing home and you can see that. There are people who are doing all the 'normal' things, and it doesn't insulate anyone against heartbreak.

So, if you think you aren't likely to get married/have kids, then try not to frame it in a negative context. There are benefits and drawbacks to everything. On the plus side of happily single: I like the freedom I have, I like my friends and my job. I like that all the money I earn is mine, and that I can drop everything and take a trip, or that I can always hang out with my family on holidays. (The only thing I really covet is that dual income - it'd be nice to have that financial safety net.) ;)

I always feel like I should add a disclaimer that I have nothing against marriage/kids, because some people seem to take it personally.

Anyway, I re-read the thread there, and there's some good advice, but I think it's a great thing that you're actually putting thought into this and working it out, and I hope you get to a happy place.

focus in on what YOU think, what YOU want. I know it's easier said than done, but you're the one who has to live your life, and you're the one who needs to be happy in it.

That's just it, I always end up putting way more importance on what other people think than that what I think, but you're right. I'm the one that has to live my life, I need to do what makes *me* happy regardless of what anyone else might think.

The reasons you gave about why it's great to be single are all the same ones I have...but then I'll be in a situation where everyone else is paired up and I'm clearly not and I feel like I'm being judged for being alone. I know I need to get over that but I'm not sure how...I'm just going to have to try harder to not care, I guess.

Anyway, thank you! It's so nice to know that I'm not the only one that feels this way.

[ SECRET POST #2649 ]

Re: I think I'm in denial about my sexuality

Re: I think I'm in denial about my sexuality

Re: I think I'm in denial about my sexuality