[ SECRET POST #2654 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2654 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.
[Ioan Gruffudd/Fantastic Four 2005]


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02.
[Laurell K. Hamilton]


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03.
[Bates Motel]


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04.
[Sherlock]


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05.
[Korn; Breaking Benjamin]


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06.
[American Horror Story]


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07.
[Gwyneth Paltrow, Iron Man]


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08.
[Kino's journey/Kino no tabi]


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09.
[Roxy Music]












Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 019 secrets from Secret Submission Post #379.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Me x everybody

[insanenoodlyguy]

And we all love it.

Re: Me x everybody

[(Anonymous)]

I want you/Omened.

He's even into Shizuo/Izaya. the perfect fit

I'm sorry, everyone.

[(Anonymous)]

Anon entered the lobby of the Hall of Secrets and ordered a beer from the bartender. It had been a long, tiring day. Daryl in Accounting had fucked with her department's numbers yet again, and she had spent the better part of the afternoon running damage control. Why hadn't he been fired yet? He was probably schlupping someone in upper management. She hoped one of the secrets would inspire decent wank today. God knew she needed it.

She made her way to the main room, pausing to greet Case. As usual, he was sitting outside the door, watching a bank of monitors.

"Anything good today?"

He blinked. "Well, uh..." He looked vaguely uncomfortable. That was odd. "Everyone's in the General Comment Lounge, if that answers your question."

"Oh. Okay." She sighed and moved past him. Great. That meant the day's secrets were probably shit. Still, maybe someone had said something stupid in the Lounge and sparked a grudge match.

She walked through the room, looking over the large posters that contained the day's secrets. To her shock, some of them were quite interesting. One proclaimed that all K-Pop was racist. One decried the influence of Christianity on the plot of Supernatural. Another stated that huskies should never be filmed, because they are sacred. And one particularly juicy bit described how some poor sap could no longer enjoy sex unless his or her SO pretended to be Megatron and repeatedly shouted things like, "there is no command but mine!" Why was the room empty? Why was no one talking about this delightful batch of delusion and despair?

She approached the room to the Lounge. As she grew closer, she began to hear...noises. They were reminded her of something. It was as if...no. No! It couldn't be. Sure, there were a few couples who frequented the Hall, but none of them could possibly be tacky enough to...

She opened the door. Her eyes widened. She hurriedly downed the rest of her beer.

There was a goddamn motherfucking orgy in progress. Right there. In the Lounge of Fandom Secrets! And it was all focused around one man. There, in the center of the room, surrounded by a pile of naked bodies and groping hands, was...

Insanenoodlyguy.

No, she thought. NO! She hated him. In the depths of her soul, she hated him. And now, not only had she just seen him naked, but she was witnessing a room full of people (many of whom she respected!) practically throw themselves at him.

There was Chardmonster, of course, biting his shoulder as he pumped her with what appeared to be a long, purple dildo. Herpymcderp sat behind and partially under him, apparently fucking him in the ass in what was probably one of the most awkward positions she had ever seen. Nursejoy was polishing his knob, which was shocking, because as far as Anon knew, she wasn't into guys. Fingalsanteater was fighting for a chance at the cock, passionately kissing nursejoy between attempts (noodly seemed to take great pleasure from this. Sexist bastard). Dethtoll was clawing at noodly's chest while jacking himself off. stella_down was reading a book while rubbing herself against noodly's elbow. Othellia was singing a very bawdy song begging him to fuck her. queerwolf was all but climbing up Herpy's back, pulling noodly's head back, sucking on the troll's neck and ear. This was to say nothing of the heap of other regulars -- icy_red, forgottenjester (looking as blue and ethereal as ever), loracarol, making_excuses, and so on and so forth -- writhing at his feet, desperately reaching for him.

And they all looked to be enjoying it. Nay, loving it! How? Why?!

The glass slipped from Anon's fingers, shattering on the floor. The sound drew noodly's attention. He smiled.

"Oh, hey, it's you! What're you doing over there, Anon? Get in here!"

Her eyes widened. Join that? With him? "Fuck you, noodles!"

"That's the point!" Someone laughed uproariously.

Shit, it wasn't even funny. What had gotten into everyone?

"Aw, don't be like that," noodles said. "I left all my special snowflake macros in the other room."

"Join us, Anon," someone said. She looked down. It was Vethica. "He's not so bad. Really."

"Yes, Anon." Nyxlexia. "It's so much fun."

"Look," said the_missing_y, "noodly's even helped this poor bastard get over his Transformers hang-up!"

"C'mon Anon!"

"You'll love it! We promise!"

"One of us!"

"ONE OF US!"

In spite of herself, she felt a stirring in her loins. She looked at noodly. He met her gaze. She'd never noticed how...deep his eyes were before. He lifted a single finger, point at her, then bent it back toward him. For some reason, it was the single sexiest gesture she had ever seen.

She looked down at the ground, at the shards of glass that encircled her feet. She couldn't do this, could she? She hated him.

Someone moaned. Loudly. Her clit twitched. It fucking twitched.

She bit her lip and looked back up. Well, hate!sex was a thing, wasn't it She took a deep breath, ripped off her clothes, and threw herself into a fray.

And, fuck her if she didn't love it.

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[vethica]

O......h my god

I have finally realized my dream of being in a porn fic! An orgy fic, no less!

TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Yaayyy! Dreams! :D

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[sporkly]

This is beautiful, anon!

Haven't laughed this hard in awhile.

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Thank you, gentle spork!

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[forgottenjester]

I love you. You don't know how hard I am laughing right now. Oh man, thanks anon. I'm almost crying. Also, thanks for the flattering description. ;)

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Haha, I'm glad it was enjoyable. And you're welcome; over time, you have pretty much become a real-life genie in my head, ngl.

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[forgottenjester]

That is a great compliment. And beautiful. I think I'm in love all over again.

10 / 10 top lel

[insanenoodlyguy]

God DAMN anon.

If you are someone I know reveal yourself to me in secret and I will love you (if I already do, will love you more) forever.

Re: 10 / 10 top lel

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Uhh, I am known-ish? I don't have an account, but I go to shitstream sometimes.

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[caecilia]

I'm not mad or anything but in the future I'd rather not be part of something like this thank you nonnie <3

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Aw, I'm sorry, man. :( I hope it didn't make you too uncomfortable.

I don't know what the odds are that I'll ever write something like this again, but if it should happen, I'll definitely keep you out of it.

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[caecilia]

it's okay

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[diet_poison]

ahahaha this is great.

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Aaaahhh somehow I missed your comment! Hello! I am heartened by your enjoyment! :D

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[elaminator]

What is insanenoodlyguy? (Some sort of supernatural creature with the power of seduction? Inquiring minds want to know!)

Anyway, this was hella funny and I love you for writing it. Nice to know the comm has one thing it can bond over.

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

I'm not sure myself. Perhaps he's been cursed (he doesn't think it's a curse now, but just wait)! Perhaps he's downed a potion! Perhaps he's just a garden-variety incubus!

There are so many prequel and sequel possibilities. The mind positively boggles.

But um...anyhow, thank you very much!

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[diet_poison]

a troll, obviously. (I was literally envisioning him as a troll in this. more like the under-the-bridge kind, but the Homestuck kind would work really well since some of them are actually pretty attractive)

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[ill_omened]

Amazing.

Sequel when.

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[iceyred]

You have all of my love. All of it. This was the perfect ending to a great day. Thank you.

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[herpymcderp]

AHAHHAHA perfect. I especially enjoy that noodles is bottoming for me here.

Well shit

[chardmonster]

He'll be insufferable now.

And seriously leave Nurse out of this i only suggested her because NOBODY WOULD WRiTE THAT i know she is alluring but come on she is off limits i will fight you

also purple?

PURPLE?

Re: I'm sorry, everyone.

[colonel_panic]

This is hilarious, good job Anon!