fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2659 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2659 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Those are all things that can happen in an affectionate relationship without there being any romance involved. I've shared beds with friends (of both sexes), I've cuddled on couches and chairs with friends, siblings, nieces, nephews, parents, and pets, and I've also kissed friends, siblings, nieces, nephews, parents, and pets, usually on the forehead or the cheek or the top of the head, but sometimes on the lips (generally not the pets, but I've sometimes been surprised by a lick).

The thing is, for most people cuddling, sharing a bed, kissing is sexual. In regards to tags, those all indicate some kind of romantic pairing. In addition, why would those things be tagged unless they were sexual? It is unneeded tagging that would confuse readers. Like when people tag friendships with Character A/Character B. The '/' indicates a romantic pairing in fandom terms.

Most people don't cuddle or kiss their family members? Their kids? Never share a bed with a pet? That's... really sad.

Cuddle? No, not really.

Is this something you do with your family?

http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/31800000/cuddling-matt-and-caroline-31876445-500-286.gif

Kissing? Yes, like on the cheek or top of the head. But again, why the hell would you tag that?

I guess it depends what you call cuddling, then?

My best friend and I were so physically affectionate in college that people actually thought we were dating. We would put our heads in each other's laps, rest our heads on each other's shoulders, snuggle up against each other on a couch or in a big chair. It never looked like what's in that gif, but I don't know what to call it other than cuddling, and we definitely had no romantic or sexual interest in one another.

Perhaps that sort of affection between friends is rare, but I don't think it's so rare as to be considered wildly outside of the realm of possibility.

Ha ha, same here with me and a good friend. What you describe is in bounds with my family and certain friends ime, but I also have friends for whom it's just not, regardless of closeness. Plus, had a couple acquaintances who did friendly cheek-kissing.

I'm not clear on what they're doing in that gif, actually.

DA

Not know the context of that gif, I could easily imagine a brother comforting his younger sister after a bad break up or something. It's not like they're naked.

Most people do this...I agree it would be sad if they don't.

What they mean is when you are tagging something you want to add the things that will get you readers who will actually enjoy the post. People who follow cuddling and kissing tags are looking for romantic relationships. If you are writing a story with those things for asexuals, you're not going to find a lot of asexuals looking through those tags; they'll be looking through the asexual tag.

Does that make more sense?

In addition, why would those things be tagged unless they were sexual? It is unneeded tagging that would confuse readers.

I think the complete opposite is true. If two characters are in a sexual relationship, then I expect them to share a bed and to kiss; tagging for those elements in shipfic is what I'd consider unneeded. (Not cuddling, though, since I've known several RL couples who don't cuddle.) It's when two characters aren't in a sexual relationship but they still share a bed, kiss, etc. that tagging for those elements becomes meaningful to me.

(And I suppose the reverse is true, as well: if two characters are in a sexual relationship but don't share a bed and/or kiss, I'd consider that useful information.)

YES THANKS.

The thing is, for most people cuddling, sharing a bed, kissing is sexual.

Not with friends and family members. I would snuggle up with my parental figures and sleep with them all the time as a kid, and of course I still kiss them today. It's so creepy to apply sexuality to those things by default, this is why kids end up starved for affection.

In addition, why would those things be tagged unless they were sexual?

So people can find it? Sometimes you want to browse through fic with platonic kissing and cuddling. I'm not even asexual and I get starved for non-sexual touch fic, it can be very refreshing.

Edited 2014-04-15 03:51 (UTC)

I agree.

But these sorts of fics often take men that in canon would never express their affection in that way, and have them suddenly kissing and cuddling out of character, and it's supposed to be completely non-romantic.

Because all those tags can be replaced by a "friendship" tag, you don't need to list every act in the tags and when you do, it probably says a lot about you and your fic (and not in a positive way).

[ SECRET POST #2659 ]

I don't see why cuddling, sharing a bed, kisses can't be platonic.

Re: I don't see why cuddling, sharing a bed, kisses can't be platonic.

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Re: I don't see why cuddling, sharing a bed, kisses can't be platonic.

Re: I don't see why cuddling, sharing a bed, kisses can't be platonic.

Re: I don't see why cuddling, sharing a bed, kisses can't be platonic.

Re: I don't see why cuddling, sharing a bed, kisses can't be platonic.

Re: I don't see why cuddling, sharing a bed, kisses can't be platonic.

Re: I don't see why cuddling, sharing a bed, kisses can't be platonic.

Re: I don't see why cuddling, sharing a bed, kisses can't be platonic.

Re: I don't see why cuddling, sharing a bed, kisses can't be platonic.

Re: I don't see why cuddling, sharing a bed, kisses can't be platonic.

Re: I don't see why cuddling, sharing a bed, kisses can't be platonic.

Re: I don't see why cuddling, sharing a bed, kisses can't be platonic.