fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2673 ]

[ SECRET POST #2673 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2673 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 055 secrets from Secret Submission Post #382.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Wear glasses fashionably. I've had poor vision my whole life, had to wear coke-bottle lenses, got contact lenses and now glasses are cool?! And it really annoys me when people that don't really need them wear them. *super petty*

I'm fine with fashionable glasses, if you actually need to wear them, but I get really annoyed by fake glasses.

How can you tell? Do you look for the eye distortion? I guess I would just assume glasses were real unless they had no glass or I was informed otherwise.

When I was in high school, sometimes my less-nearsighted friends would go without their glasses in order to look better, which confused me because I can't walk reliably or detect facial expressions (or faces at all) without my glasses.

Anyone who needs glasses can tell. First, yes, the distortion is a factor. The other (because there area lot of milder prescription that aren't as obvious) dead giveaway is the fact that fashion-wearers don't look THROUGH the lenses - or better said, they don't ONLY look through the lenses - their focus is all over the place and not centred in the field of vision delineated by the frame. Yeah, person magically able to not only read the book UNDER your glasses but also read the blackboard OVER them? You aren't fooling ANYBODY with your "intellectual frames".

All of this makes perfect sense! I guess I've just never thought about it before. I don't know if I've come across any fashion-glasses wearers or not; I'll have to start paying attention to see if there are any fakers in my city.

Yeah, people who need them will move their entire head to look at something, those who don't will move just the eyes. The last time I got a new pair I thought I'd get small rectangular frames for a change. Then I realized I could never wear them at uni because the constant ducking to read notes, lifting to see the prof made me look like a particularly hungry duck. :/ So, it's square for going out, large ovals for work. Have a friend who wears a cute tiny-lensed frame, and is constantly and unconsciously moving them up and down to see more - looks hysterical.

I'll be petty with you. But I do appreciate all the people suddenly saying glasses are attractive.

OMG. This.

ABSOLUTELY THIS! SO MUCH FUCKING THIS. COULDN'T THE FASHIONISTAS HAVE LEFT IT AT SUNGLASSES?! SO THAT THEY AT LEAST HAVE A PRETEND REASON!?

Especially because the same idiots that do this, are almost ALWAYS the same type of people to tell you things like "You know, without your glasses, you'd be super cute!" And then won't shut UP about it, even when you tell them you have absolutely valid, medical reasons why you can't "just get lasik" or "just use contacts" because after all their mom/brother/neighbor's cousin did that and it worked just fiiiiiiiine. Everybody's eyes are the same, yeah?

I mean, I'm very glad people now think glasses are cool, I'm glad (thanks, online shops!) I now have a variety of pairs of different types so that, unlike my childhood, I no longer have to have the same, ugly, utilitarian thing stuck on my face all day. I'm very happy about how much stylistic CHOICE there is now that everybody's getting in on it. But at the same time I wish people would acknowledge more that it's a medical necessity first and fashion accessory second - and not keep pretending that people who need them always have a choice about it.

(There is also a special level of hell reserved for people - and yes, they exist - who think it is OK to remove glasses from people's faces without permission. Fuck them all sideways).

But hey, could be worse. I calm myself down about this by reminding myself that, not too long ago, walking sticks were a fashion statement and how those who actually needed them must have felt. Just imagine, Watson on his morning stroll (in those Doyle stories where it was his leg), outwardly being all stoic and Victorian, and inwardly thinking:

"Fuck those motherfuckers with their fancy-ass, polished FASHION canes... Look at that bastard stroking his ebony and silver penis-replacement and thinking he's hot stuff - holy shit, has that douchenozzle seriously got his slung over his motherfucking SHOULDER!? AND IT HAS A FECKING TOPPER SHAPED LIKE THE QUEEN!? I don't want to live on this planet anymore... "

... ... I may have drifted way off topic. Forgive me.

To be fair, canes actually were both fashionable and also a possible weapon at one point in time. (I'd kill for a swordcane, but they're banned in my country).

But wtf, people taking off another person's glasses? I'd probably be tempted to slap them...

Swordcanes! My criminal law professor loved using them as examples, so every time I see the word I think of him. And also, they are really awesome and I wish they weren't banned too.

Yeah, there is more than one reason to legitimately carry a cane, I suppose. Watson, ex-soldier that he is, surely knows which are which...

Also, yeah, it's happened to me more than once - particularly at dances, formal events and bars - apparently, if men (they've been men except for one elderly lady) think that if your eyewear doesn't "fit" your look (or whatever they think you're going for) they're entitled to just snatch them. Or because "oh - let me get those so we can take a picture." Fucking NO.

And yes, I have slapped people. Or tried to, it's hard to aim without depth perception.

"Fuck those motherfuckers with their fancy-ass, polished FASHION canes... Look at that bastard stroking his ebony and silver penis-replacement and thinking he's hot stuff - holy shit, has that douchenozzle seriously got his slung over his motherfucking SHOULDER!? AND IT HAS A FECKING TOPPER SHAPED LIKE THE QUEEN!? I don't want to live on this planet anymore... "

I just heard House saying this in my head.

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[ SECRET POST #2673 ]

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