fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2676 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2676 ⌋

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11. http://i.imgur.com/UxSqKF0.png

nonsexual kink is an oxymoron.

Maybe it's a question of terminology? Is there a better word for "a fascination with something [not usually thought of as sexual]"? (fetish?)

english is not my native language, so i'm not the best person to ask. maybe there is, but most people don't know about it. idk.

Yeah, I don't know either, but it's sort of like how kink_bingo got me to stop thinking of kink as always = porn (because it's actually possible to write G-rated kink)...

I guess a "nonsexual kink" can just be called a fascination (as someone suggested in another comment).

...if English is not your native language, why are you trying to tell English speakers how to use an already pretty nebulous term?

It's actually not nebulous though. It's a BDSM term, which is ...well, yeah by nature pretty sexual.

Except it's not? Maybe it started as a BDSM term, I don't know the history, but it's a pretty broad term now that covers a lot more stuff than BDSM and I've definitely seen it used to apply to non-sexual things in fandom.

In fact, there are whole long lj discussions in fandom about what counts as a "kink."

So yeah, sorry, but pretty nebulous in common fandom usage.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2014-05-02 00:23 (UTC) - Expand

lady_songsmith - 2014-05-02 00:50 (UTC) - Expand

Because even a non-native speaker can know enough of English to know when a word is used wrongly? Also, who says the OP is a native-English speaker?

because kink is not actually nebulous but pretty straightforward? it's not like we're trying to define irony here.

(Anonymous) - 2014-05-02 00:06 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-05-02 00:37 (UTC) - Expand

philstar22 - 2014-05-02 00:38 (UTC) - Expand

I have no problem with 'kink' used in a non-sexual sense, since it's very definitely trending that way in usage, but perhaps 'predilection' or 'proclivity'?

'Fetish' would be the closest synonym, but to me a fetish is definitely sexual, but a kink might or might not.

If people want nebulous, perhaps we can go with the previous term for a non-sexual fascination: a 'thing'. As in "Ooooh, slinkies! I have a bit of a thing for slinkies!"

I like that the term 'kink' has sexual connotations simply because it separates my *thing* for slinkies (non-sexual) from my *kink* for blue eyes, or my *thing* about neck-touching (which is usually somewhat violent and panicked) and my *kink* for wrestling/holds (which is definitely sexual, though milder than you'd probably think, to the point where it's fun platonically).

I personally find that those terms work better because the vagueness of 'thing' really underscores that there's no particular reason why you like it, you just do, while 'kink' gives context for why.

Yeah, there's gotta be a better word for it. I dunno, OP could just say they have an obsession with Torture Fic?

It may not be exactly what the OP was trying to talk about, but there are plenty of unusual things that people get aroused by that don't involve anything that most people would consider sexual.

I think 'nonsexual kink' is a about as good a way as any to describe things like people perving on stuff like shoes, belching, petrification, etc.

Wait, I thought we were talking about things people liked in a non-sexual way, not non-sexual things that get people aroused.

Actually there are plenty of asexual kinksters/BDSM practitioners. They get off mentally/emotionally on specific scenes or dynamics without a sexual component (or with a sexual component for a sexual partner, but the sexual aspect is not something they actively seek or enjoy).

~~~* The more you know!

Their use is fine. Your understanding of the word is too narrow.

Definition:

noun
1. a sharp twist or curve in something that is otherwise straight.
2. a flaw or obstacle in a plan, operation, etc.
3. a quirk of character or behavior.
4. a person's unusual sexual preference.
5. a stiffness in the neck, back, etc.; crick.

verb
1. form or cause to form a sharp twist or curve.

(from Google)

Edited 2014-05-02 02:27 (UTC)

"Nonsexual kink" is a really useful way to describe something that doesn't arouse you sexually but nonetheless gives you intense pleasure for reasons you can't really identify. This is how h/c works for a lot of people. I get actual physical sensations of pleasure from reading good h/c, they're just not sexual ones.

This.

I totally get what you mean about nonsexual kink. I have the exact same one you do. It isn't remotely sexual. It seems to fill other psychological needs, but I haven't completely figured out why I love torture fics. But I do. I especially love ones where you get realistic psychological effects and where the aftermath is explored, but I'll read any of them really.

Too bad. If that actually was a sexual kink I might be interested. As is, I'd probably find it boring.

I am this exact way with mind control and possession things.

I find it hot as fuck but I wouldn't pair it with sex to save my life (except in certain situations I guess.)

So...you just invalidated everything you said.

Just because you wouldn't want it happening to YOU doesn't mean it's not a kink. Or do you think all women with ravishment fantasies want to get raped?

They didn't say they didn't want it to happen to them, they said that they don't associate it with sex (and, presumably, sexual arousal).

Well, that escalated quickly