case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2014-05-01 07:12 pm

[ SECRET POST #2676 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2676 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 019 secrets from Secret Submission Post #382.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2014-05-01 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
For some women it is, (at least, this is what we learned in our college sex ed), because it plays off of the idea that the woman is "so irresistible that the man can't help himself around her".

However, there are a lot of valid concerns around the portrayal of BDSM in the book, and the way that people IRL are romanticizing it based on the books portrayal.
diet_poison: (Default)

[personal profile] diet_poison 2014-05-01 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
You had sex ed in college :?

(Anonymous) 2014-05-02 12:39 am (UTC)(link)
Usually it's called "Human Sexuality" in college, and if I'm not wrong, it goes with a psychology degree, correct, OP?

(Anonymous) 2014-05-02 01:14 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, "Human Sexuality and Development" (I think), though not for a psychology degree: I took it because my parents wouldn't let me take sex ed in High School "because we never took sex ed, and we turned out just fine", and I was hoping I'd be able to pick some things up! :D
comma_chameleon: (Why?!)

[personal profile] comma_chameleon 2014-05-02 01:10 am (UTC)(link)
I read this as 'You had sex in college?' and got confused. XD

(Anonymous) 2014-05-02 01:12 am (UTC)(link)
Technically it was "Human Sexuality and Development", so anatomy/physiology, paraphilias, sex beliefs through history/time, etc.

(Anonymous) 2014-05-02 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
So...empowering oneself at the expense of another's consent.

Hm.

Hmmmmmmm.

(Anonymous) 2014-05-02 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
Nobody is violating anyone else's consent by reading a book about fictional characters.

(Anonymous) 2014-05-02 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
I hope what you meant is that rape fantasies or role playing can be empowering? Because that is a thing. (Anecdata: most people I know with this kink are former fundamentalists. Their own explanation (if a kink really needs an explanation) is that they internalized sex=bad so hard, it's easier to enjoy if they can pretend that they don't really want it.)
But actual, un-negotiated, nonconsensual rape is always bad and never empowering.

(Anonymous) 2014-05-02 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
Well, yes, but in this specific instance we were talking about fiction/fiction writing.

Obviously real life rape is a big fucking no, but in some books, and to some people, it's totally okay in fiction because of the above "I'm so wonderful he can't help himself" fantasies, which are a totally legitimate fantasy to have.

(Anonymous) 2014-05-02 01:01 pm (UTC)(link)
internalized sex=bad so hard, it's easier to enjoy if they can pretend that they don't really want it

Huh. That... that helps me a lot, actually. Thank you.