[ SECRET POST #2699 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2699 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Bit early today, sorry!

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 116 secrets from Secret Submission Post #386.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[dratinis]

Urgh, yeah, the obsession with labeling everything over there borders on ridiculous. I understand that it can offer a lot of comfort, but you raise a good point about some straight people picking up a term that's particular to the queer community. That's not cool. :C

If they want to find a way to describe how their relationship deviates from the status quo, they should look in the dictionary. Alternatively, visit this place! You can find some really cool words that most people never heard of before there.

[(Anonymous)]

the comfort is why i grudgingly tolerate the huge explosion of terms for every tiny thing. if that's what they need to feel like they're not alone and their experiences are legitimate, then that's fine. i just hate when they de-legitimise (is that a word??) the experiences of other groups by taking their terms and stretching those terms out to become almost meaningless (like if we start using "queer" for straight people, where does that leave those of us who actually are?).

they could always take the option of looking at their relationship as a way of changing the status quo. instead of rejecting the "normal experience" because they don't agree with it, they could think "we're re-defining normal to make it more inclusive of different type of relationships". but that doesn't make them look special, i guess.

oh wow this website is awesome thank you!! i'm going to spend the next few hours clicking through here and trying to pronounce all the really complicated words and becoming gleeful at their existence.

(sorry my comment is so long this is just an issue i have A Lot Of Feelings about lol)

[dratinis]

It's okay, no need to apologize! I have some feelings about this, too, but you worded it better than I could. Even if it's not one of the most explosive issues within the community, it does merit discussion due to the fact that words = communication. They are potent little things, and I often feel that people underestimate their power. But then, I'm a bit of a language nerd, so vocabulary is pretty important to me (also extremely fascinating, but that's a whole other story).

It boggles my mind that, in a language with 100,000+ words, out of all the words to choose to describe an intense friendship, they'd pick one that's so loaded with baggage (like the other anon up above said). It really does delegitimize folks within the queer community, in a way. (I would also like to note that I totally looked up delegitimize to make sure that it was a word. I was 95% it was, but I wanted to be 110% sure. Also, I love parentheses.)

I'd like to think that maybe they're gobbling up the term not so much to feel special, but to shed light on the different types of relationships that exist. That said, I'm pretty sure that's just wishful thinking on my part. I have to admit, the first time I heard about queerplatonic being a thing, I shook my head and thought "Wow, you guys are thinking too much and that's not cool." I also have to admit that I have a really bad aversion to labels, so my next thought was "AAARRGGGGGHHH."

I just... I have a really close friendship, and it rubs me the wrong way that someone may want to try to slap a special name on that just because. But that's just me being silly.

And yes, that website is amazing. :D One of my favorite parts about it is that you can also look up words by categories. For example, there's an entire section devoted just to fancy color names!!

[(Anonymous)]

it's true though. often people don't realise how powerful words are because a lot of their effect is subconscious (which is what makes the use of certain words in certain ways so potentially dangerous: it can shape our views without us even realising it).

i was actually the anon above that pointed out the loaded baggage of the word, lol. queer was (and still can be) a vicious insult when used by a straight person. its use now is because it was re-claimed by queer people, and even today not everyone agrees on whether it should be used. so by trying to take it for themselves, straight people are stumbling into a whole mess they don't even belong in.

(thank you for looking it up!! i probably should've done that but i thought, eh, i'll use it anyway, they'll know what i mean. and yes, parentheses are the best friend of a lengthy discussion!)

it's possible that at least some of them are doing it for the reasons you wishfully think. people have different intentions. giving something a name does indeed bring it to attention. the questions is whether that could be done in a better way. (completely agreed on the aversion to labels, btw.)

i know exactly what you mean. with me and my two best friends, we just ARE. we don't need some fancy name for it, and trying to stick a name like that on our relationship to define it would be really strange. then again, everyone is different, i suppose.

this is glorious! i'm currently in the section with the lost words, and aww, i feel so bad for them. i want to bring them back to life! maybe i'll start using them.

[diet_poison]

dude, that site is cool

(can't find a list about relationships, though)