fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2699 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2699 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Bit early today, sorry!

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

... what do you do, personally?

I tend to find a reason to leave the room and do my own thing, but it's not always easy to get away with it. At least when I was in college I'd just tell people I had homework. Now I've got nothing.

The thing is that I like people, I'm just not interested in talking about a lot of things they want to talk about - and vice versa.

So what do you do?

I drink wine and pet the resident cat.

(also there's an app you can download that gives you a fake phone call/text message, "answer" it and say you gotta go lol)

There's an app for that? All this time I've just pretended to feel my phone buzz, and I'd pick it up and walk away...

What's it called? (not that my phone is smart enough for such an app)

I'd go stand or sit near someone I know and just listen for a while. Get up and move around a bit. Go outside for a little fresh air and then come back in. If there are people who smoke at the party, outside can be a good place to start new conversations.

If there's something you want to talk about, it might not hurt to try talking about it. The worst that will happen is they won't be interested and you'll be no worse off than you were before. I like to think of parties as safe-ish spaces for awkwardness. Basically, give it a try and if you're still not feeling it after half an hour or so (or however long it takes before you feel like you're done), make your exit. "I'm feeling a little tired" is a perfectly good reason if you need one.

nayrt but

this is mostly the stuff that i do at parties where i don't have much to talk about or don't know many people but i always feel horribly awful about it. if i'm standing near people i know, i'm monopolizing their attention and forcing them to spend time with me. if i'm just standing and not talking, i'm being an awkward load, a weight on the party in general. if i go outside, i'm a weirdo standing outside. if i talk about something i want to talk about, i'm the weirdo awkwardly talking about the thing that no one else cares about. it's immensely frustrating and i hate it and i hate parties.

I'm sorry you feel awful, anon. I hope I didn't make you feel more awful by suggesting those things. I suggested them because I tend to feel awkward at parties and they often work for me, but they won't work for everyone.

I can sympathize with how you feel because I used to feel that way at parties all the time, like I was just monopolizing people's time and being a an awkward lump and a weirdo. I don't know, because I'm not you, but eventually I found out that when I felt those things, they were not actually true. That is, I felt like I was an awkward weight on other people or an annoying weirdo much more often and more strongly than other people thought I was, if they thought it at all. Your feelings are real but impressions of what other people think of you can be really inaccurate.

I hope things get better for you, whether it's because parties get easier or because you do other things you like better instead. I'm sorry if I was insensitive or made anything worse.

Oh no this isn't on you in any way! And there's certainly nothing insensitive about it. Sorry if I came off that way. Just saying that these strategies don't, in themselves, solve issues, although they are valid responses to OP's question (and also, really, just ranting about my anxieties and insecurities).

And it is... I accept, on the evidence of what everyone's ever said to me, that these feelings probably are not actually true, but I don't believe it internally. I accept that probably I'm not a weight but I don't see the reasons why or really accept it I guess. Anyway thank you for your kind words, sorry for rambling on about my life, and apologies if I gave you the impression you were being offensive when you were being very kind.

if the house has animals, I go find them.

This is good advice.

(reply from suspended user)

Dance. If there is no music, put it on. Find myself more food or wine. Offer to get people more food or wine. Go to the bathroom. Find a corner and text my friends. Find an animal and pet it. Explore the garden.

If I'm not the one driving home, I drink. Heavily. Even the most boring people/conversations are more interesting when you're drunk.

[ SECRET POST #2699 ]

When you're at a party and have nothing to talk about, but can't leave for some reason...

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Re: When you're at a party and have nothing to talk about, but can't leave for some reason...

Re: When you're at a party and have nothing to talk about, but can't leave for some reason...

Re: When you're at a party and have nothing to talk about, but can't leave for some reason...

Re: When you're at a party and have nothing to talk about, but can't leave for some reason...

Re: When you're at a party and have nothing to talk about, but can't leave for some reason...

Re: When you're at a party and have nothing to talk about, but can't leave for some reason...

Re: When you're at a party and have nothing to talk about, but can't leave for some reason...

Re: When you're at a party and have nothing to talk about, but can't leave for some reason...

Re: When you're at a party and have nothing to talk about, but can't leave for some reason...