[ SECRET POST #2701 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2701 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[The Almighty Johnsons]


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03.
[X-Men Evolution]


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04.
[The Dreaming Machine]


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05.
[Parasol Protectorate]


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06.
[Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Hiddleston, Interview with the Vampire]


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07.
[Marvel Disc Wars: The Avengers]


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08.
[Orphan Black]


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09.
[Team Fortress 2]


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10.
[Severus Snape, Gerard Way]


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11.
[Neil Patrick Harris/Ramin Karimloo (Les Misérables/Hedwig and the Angry Inch)]


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12.
[Gakuen babysitters]


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13.
[The Walking Dead Game]


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14.
[Billie Piper, Penny Dreadful]


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15.
[Sherlock]












Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 084 secrets from Secret Submission Post #386.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I have nowhere else to get this off my chest right now so here goes. I'm 22 and a weird womanbaby and more and more I'm afraid that I'll never be normal and no one will ever want to be my friend and I'm making progress so slowly but it feels like I'm getting older and older so fast. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, which explains a lot about me and my life, but I don't know how I got like this. I used to have so many ambitions and now I don't know if there's anything I'm even capable of doing. Everyone else my age seems to have so much more life experience than I do and it's getting less and less okay to be this way the older I get.

I guess I'm wondering how many people have basement-dweller-to-normal-person success stories.

Anyway, thanks for attending WHINECON '14. I sure went crazy in the Feeler's Room this year. Heyooooo

[mekkio]

You are 22. You are still very young.

As far as doing huge and amazing things. Start small then work your way up. Don't climb Mt. Everest first. Go scale a hill.

What do you like? What would you like to do?

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks buddy.

I like art. And animals, psychology, just kinda nerdy stuff? I need to learn to drive. I'm apprehensive about controlling a giant metal deathbox, and a lot of people with ADHD have a lot of trouble with it, but it's the only way I can get around on my own. So that has to be my big primary goal atm.

[mekkio]

Perfect. Let that be your goal. And, yeah, driving at first can be intimidating but after a few months it will become second nature to you. I love it. Especially taking sharp turns. Don't see it as a giant metal "deathbox" but a giant metal "superpower speed machine." In that car, you are the fastest species of animal on the planet. Beat that, cheetah!

And once you get your driver's license celebrate by taking a road trip. (Even if that road trip is only a few cities down.) It will make you realize how much the world has opened up to you and the freedom you have. Plus, you'll be going to a place you've never had before. It's a baby step but a step none the less.

[(Anonymous)]

Haha thanks. I hope you are right, and that the multitude of rules to remember doesn't trip me up... I think I'll bookmark this thread and read it when I need a boost.

[diet_poison]

This is great advice. Learning to drive is an excellent first step in exercising independence and taking control.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm here to tell you that the deathbox can be conquered! I don't have ADHD, but I was terrified of learning to drive for years because of anxiety. I had to take my driver's test three times before I passed (mostly because of the parallel parking test -- I never parallel park) but I can get from town to town without killing anyone. People learn to drive who have all kinds of issues with driving.

It's a good primary goal and I think you can do it.

[(Anonymous)]

That's really inspiring. Thank you. Congrats on your victory over the automobile anon! :]

[othellia]

This! I didn't get my license until I was 21, and - while managed to pass on my second try - I think it was partially out of pity (my examiner gave me the lowest score I needed to pass). And I totally bombed the parallel parking bit out of anxiety and whatnot, so it is possible to pass without it!

When I was starting out, I'd always repeat in my head, "Every other car doesn't want to hit me, just as much as I don't want to hit them."

I found it worked best in baby steps. Daytime low traffic suburban streets and straight/right turns only first. Then I conquered nighttime driving. Then I conquered left hand turns. Then I conquered the freeway. Then I conquered listening to the radio as I drove/talking to passengers/etc.

ETA: I should say I still haven't conquered city driving. I will do everything I can to avoid driving/parking in a city.

[diet_poison]

Funny story, I was scared of parallel parking, but they didn't ask me to do it on the test. I'm still horrible at it, even though I'm a pretty good driver overall. I avoid it whenever I can.

[sarillia]

I'm still working on my success story. I've managed to come back from turning into a paranoid shut-in for months at a time and now have a regular social life, but I'm still living with my parents and working on school/work so I still have work to do.

I just want to offer some sympathy. I'm sure there are ways to change your life so that you will be happier.

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you. Congrats and good luck to you also :]

[(Anonymous)]

Oh wow, OP, I don't know you at all, but 22 is really young. . . honestly, too young for "basement dweller" to even make sense as an epithet. I feel like you're probably ok, or can be soon. As long as you're not hurting anyone, there's nothing really wrong with being immature for your age or not having a lot of experience when you're 22.

Did something happen recently to make you give up on some of your old ambitions? What would you like to do and experience, and what's keeping you back?

[(Anonymous)]

Haha, thanks. I hadn't really considered it that way. It's so nice and neighborly here in the general comments.

I suppose just a lack of confidence in general? Coupled with realizing that the things I wanted to do are more complicated and less practical than I could have understood as a kidlet, especially art/illustration. I just got stuck in a rut or something. It's kind of a vicious cycle because to have new experiences and learn new things you have to meet new people, but meeting new people risks them ~finding out~ who/what you really are.

[(Anonymous)]

That fear of other people finding out who you really are is so, so common. It won't do you any good at all, but it isn't unusual. Most people seem to feel that way at some point. What are you afraid of other people knowing?

Re: the lack of confidence -- I went through something very similar when I was 18. Art/illustration is a hard road. It's easy to be blindsided by how hard it turns out to be once you begin to take it seriously. Professional illustration is probably just as time consuming as being a concert pianist or a professional athlete -- you need to practice just as regularly and be improving constantly (even if it's a slow improvement).

Everyone who works as an artist has to go through a period of being surprised by how difficult it is and struggling with the loss of confidence that goes along with that realization. It's not just normal, it's absolutely necessary.

That doesn't mean you have to give it up, and it doesn't mean you have to stick with it, either. It's just something most people go through at some point if they care about doing things well.

Even if you decide not to pursue illustration as a career right now, you don't have to give up the idea of working in something arts-related. You don't even have to give up the possibility of a someday career in illustration in order to pursue other options.

Sorry to ramble, anon! Are you in college right now? What kind of place do you live in?

[kallanda_lee]

Okay, slow down. A few things.

-You don't have to be normal, you just need to find a place where you're comfortable with yourself.
-There are people out there for everyone, there's no reason you can't have friends
-I know it seems like you're losing time so rapidly when you're "stuck", but you're only 22. So many people aren't even out of college at 22. You have your whole life ahead of you.
-Recently learning such big info about yourself (like having ADHD) can be an adjustment even if you feel like it explains so much about you. Allow yourself time to process it.
- You are the same person you were pre-diagnosis. Do not use it as an excuse. People with ADHD can be wonderfully creative as long as they know to channel it. Do not give up on your ambitions - get help from someone setting a realistic schedule for doing/achieving them if need be.
- Stop looking at what everyone else is doing. When I look around, most people my age are not at a place I'd want to be. What do YOU want?
- Also it's okay to tell me to piss off if I start sounding like your mother.

[inkdust]

This is good advice. I keep trying not to look at what everyone else is doing and follow what I want to do. It's tough but important.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

100% yes to all of this.

Yes yes yes.

Some of the smartest, funniest, most creative and inspiring people I know are people with ADHD. You can learn to work with and around and through it just like any other thing about you.

Take your time. You won't be wasting it. Take whatever time you need to make the life that works for you. That's what your time is for.

[(Anonymous)]

same anon as above

just in case, I meant "inspiring" as in "has awesome ideas and shares them with people," not "disability exploitation TV movie"-inspiring.

the good kind

[(Anonymous)]

This is a normal developmental milestone for your age. It gets better.

[diet_poison]

anon, I floundered a bit after losing direction and am slowly regaining it. I had to take two extra semesters and one summer session of college. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up but I'm more and more ok with that and just looking to the future to see what happens. I know I want to do stuff and make the world better, but baby steps. First I have to finish school! And I'm almost done. It will be so nice after all the discouragement and frustration. You can do it too!!!! (not necessarily school, but whatever it is you need to do next!)

[riddian]

Don't worry, 22 is still quite young and you have plenty of time ahead of you! Maybe it would help if you made a list of things you are capable of/really like to do, and see if there are jobs, social experiences, anything and everything that plays to those strengths. And don't worry too much about "being normal," I think it's overrated.

I wouldn't call either of us a basement dweller, but if you want a success story: I dropped out of college after one year because I was teeeeeerrible at time management and being a student. I spent three years working a soul-sucking job at Burger King, the only good part of which was that it really motivated me to find a way to never have to get another job like that. After spending way too long learning how to drive manual transmission cars, I realized that I was actually really good at it, and saved up enough to get a CDL and become a professional driver. And it's been awesome. Best time of my life. And I bet you've got some great days ahead of you too, anon. c:

[(Anonymous)]

I've been there, or a version of there. Now I'm happy(ish) and capable, and have an active and engaging social life. Not going to say you'll be fine because I don't know, but you definitely CAN be fine. You're capable of it.

[(Anonymous)]

Anon, when I was at the age of 22:

-I had just broken up with the only real boyfriend I ever had.
-I dropped out of four-year college because I was frustrated at how long it was taking for me to get an education (after I had taken 3½ years just to get an AA degree that I couldn't even apply to any real career)
-I hadn't even had a first job at that point
-I had a million hopes and dreams and goals but unfortunately I had way too many stars in my eyes to focus on a real plan. This coupled with lack of support and even some aggressive opposition from people who claimed to love me killed all of that pretty fast
-I felt I was too dumb and scared to even know how to function in society, as an actual adult. I didn't live on my own and couldn't begin to imagine how I would accomplish that. The concept of roommates scared the shit out of me, as did the concept of paying bills and having nothing to eat at the end of the mouth. Of course without a job, it becomes difficult to live on one's own, but where there's a will, there's a way. I unfortunately just didn't have that will.

Fast forward to twelve years later.
-I went back to school for a degree I could apply toward a good job
-I got a job that, after having stuck with it a few years, allowed me to make enough to get my own apartment. At the moment, I don't have to worry about getting a roommate. I hope that much won't change. I am considering pets though. Just not now.
-I'm a performer. It's something I got interested in later on and just wanted to get into, but regularly performing was never a consideration. It's just something that happened, but it's been a lot of fun.
-I'm still working on making friends. I used to be scared as shit to say anything about my nerdy interests, because I thought they were "childish" things I should have grown out of. Well, I haven't grown out of them, and at some point, I decided I didn't give a shit. I can't say I'm super open about my interests, but it's a lot better than it was years ago.
-I started allowing myself to take sick days. I never did that in the past unless I was flu sick. But sometimes people need a mental health day. Or a menstrual health day. Having a job is important, but so is allowing the worker to do what they need to function.

Well, anyway, that's just a snapshot of me now, I guess. I'm still into video games and anime and silly things. Like others said, everyone in life has to go at their own pace, and not let others guilt them about not meeting some societal standard. I recently got smug-married by some old Korean lady at the Asian market because I still don't have a husband at my age. She called me hardheaded. I just smiled and laughed as I walked out with my purchase. I want to keep doing awesome stuff throughout my years. I want to be a performer at 50, or a 99-year-old anime nerd. I don't want lack of youth to stop me.

It sucks that our society is obsessed with youth, like there are only so many "productive" years when one is young. That's such bullshit. If you're stagnant or feel you aren't progressing or improving then it just means you need to try something else.

Life doesn't run out because you turn 22.

I don't know if any of this helps. I'm just sharing my experience. I guess I just want to say you can still accomplish things, but you have to cut some of the noise out of your head, whatever is making you doubt your capabilities. I don't know how things will turn out for you. But if you want to get somewhere, you have to start somewhere. Slow progress is still progress. At least you're trying. I've known people older than you who have come to a full stop because they can't get over their entitled attitudes.

This is super tl;dr so I'll just end it here.

(tl;dr version? Life goes on and can get better, believe in yourself and do something.)

op

[(Anonymous)]

Well I don't really know how to put my feelings about all these responses into words, but it really means a lot to me how nice you guys have been. You could have called that comment stupid, but you didn't. Thank you, truly. I'm going to keep this thread around for inspiration whenever I feel this way in the future. And congrats to everyone who commented about being in a better place in their lives now than they were a few years ago!