fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2705 ]

[ SECRET POST #2705 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2705 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Nostalgia Critic, Sailor Moon]

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03.

[Sailor Moon]

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04.

[Jessica Chastain]

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05.

[Homestuck]

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06.

[The Musketeers]

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07.

[Absolutely Fabulous]

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08.

[Disney's Big Hero 6]

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09.

[Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer]

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10.

[Revolution]

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11.

[Disney Fairies; character is Vidia]

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12. http://oi57.tinypic.com/28jg5l.jpg
[kind of pornish, illustrated]

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13.

14. [SPOILERS for Game of Thrones]

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15. [SPOILERS for Transistor]

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16. [SPOILERS for Hannibal]

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17. [SPOILERS for Star-Crossed]

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18. [SPOILERS for Captain America: The Winter Soldier]

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19. [SPOILERS for Hannibal]
[WARNING for rape]

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20. [WARNING for rape]

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21. [WARNING for abuse]

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22. [WARNING for rape/non-con]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #386.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Every time another person follows me and their page is nothing but Feminism reblogs I an terrified for the day the internet finds out I disagree most of the time. Finds out I watch some MRA videos and generally agree (Dean Esmay is a doll). Finds out I donated money to their causes and argue in their favor anonymously.

I just want to help men in a way that isn't framed in "what will women get out of it."

Are you for real?

I guess I have a bunch of different replies on a lot of different levels but I'll try to put it in some kind of coherent order

1) what do you view as the central issues surrounding the MRA movement? It often seems to me that there's a very limited palette of arguments where I can see any validity to the MRA arguments - divorce court and maybe a couple of other things. So I'm just kind of curious how you see that as someone who identifies as an MRA.

2) does the baggage attached to the movement not bother you at all? because it seems to me that there's a ton of shittiness that comes from people who identify as MRA, and more than that, that a ton of what the movement is trying to do is closely connected to a lot of arguments that don't have anything to do with specific things that ought to be changed because they're unjust to men and more general arguments against feminism or even just general "girls are gross". I guess this is related to question 1 in the sense that it seems like this makes up a disproportionate amount of what the movement actually spends its time on, and that bothers me. So again: how do you feel about the baggage and the behavior of the movement in general?

3) do you view the MRA movement as incompatible with feminism? if so, why? because I gotta be honest, my response to something like "I just want to help men in a way that isn't framed in 'what will women get out of it'" would be something like, "Yeah, that's cool, and also, feminism."

Again just kind of curious, do not reply if you are a troll.

1. Father's rights, Divorces being shit, Domestic violence rape and molestation always being framed as a woman's issue, Predominant Aggressor laws, Shelters for men and boys, Mental health care, Boys falling behind in education, Rape culture*, getting men more involved in their physical health and getting more funding for men's health issues.

*Personally I think both the victim and the accused should be anonymous until there's a guilty verdict. One, I think the anonymity of the victim objectifies them and makes the media focus on and humanize the accused. Two, There may only be a few men who have been harmed by vigilantes due to rape allegations but I think even that is too many.

2. I've need following them for years. Before they were really on any radar. The negative association started as a slow creep. I noticed a lot of trolling coming out of /pol/ as soon as it came up on 4chan. They got their hooks in the butthurt caused by Anita Sarkesian and never let go. /co/ and /v/ haven't been the same in years. Unless someone puts a face or at least a viable persona to their beliefs I tend to ignore them. I find many of the times when people refer to someone as an MRA they are just pointing at any angry man on the internet. Its become so bad now everyone that disagrees with a feminist on the internet is an MRA.

I think there are a lot of times where they run out of things to talk about and in attempts to keep a dialogue going they run in circles. I have gotten frustrated at times with them. They (by they I mean people I'd consider core to the actual activism) think that any press is good press in that they to hear their message but I also think it does attract nutbars. They are, however, pretty good at shutting down people who they think are really threatening people.

I see the real MRAs as the people who are trying to actually help. Girlwritewhat, Dean Esmay, Paul Elam. That's what the A part means. Activist. I know a lot of people hate on Elam but it seems to me at his heart he's a guy that has helped people all his life and got really tired of shit and thinks shock tactics are useful. Funny thing there's like a small separatist group that actually hates Elam because they say he censors them too much, by deleting their angry comments.

Most of the comments people point at as super misogynist are no different than a girl that's just broken up with her boyfriend and says she wishes men would die. It's not real, it's just a way of coping. Before you point at Elliot Rodger, he was not an MRA. He wasn't even a PUA. He hated them. He hated women and he was racist and narassistic. He could have focused on something else and been just as nutty. See Ted Kazinsky.

I see people asking what MRAs have done because they assume they've done nothing more than argue on the internet. They aren't really funded like women's groups. They've helped men with their divorces and custody usually with monetary help for lawyers, they connect men with therapists or just lend ears to those who are too ashamed to talk to professionals. One group is starting a shelter for men in Canada.

3. At the core, no. I think they should be able to tolerate each other and even work together on some things. However I think there's always going to be people who won't let that happen.

I've seen more than enough times where feminists will argue "women have it worse" or guys will "what about men" to see the groups being able to come together. Really they don't have to. It's Ok to have separate groups working towards different things. To me it's ok to support both. However I don't have to fear career ending backlash if people found out I'm a feminist.

I think that's why a lot of MRAs are anti-feminist. They not really anti-feminism they're just so tired of trying to say something about guys to have feminists posting about how women's issues are bigger or more important. It's probably unfair to feminists who can listen, but it's now things happen. Talking about men's issues doesn't negate women's and vice versa. That is something I do think many MRAs get wrong, but so to feminists.

My problem with feminism as an idea is that if it is synonymous with pretty much being a good person, as it's described by most people on tumblr, then I don't think it needs a name. It just seems to be used as a gold star to make people feel better about themselves.

Paul Elam.

Stopped reading there. Are you fucking serious?

I like how both you and the next person hone in on named and don't give a fuck about anything else I said.

Girlwrite(s)what

I had her rants recommended to me by a friend but her shockingly abysmal ignorance of history was so profound that I couldn't make it through a single one. I really have no idea what you see in these people.

I believe she's also fairly into evopsych stuff, and how women are only supposed to choose alpha mates, or something like that. One of those sorts of things, I can't be putting up with it.

Haaaaaahahahah yeah. Well at least she makes the science major in me too cringe, then, as well as the historian.

You mean like all the feminists who keep parroting outdated, disproven statistics for their causes?

Don't be silly anon. Feminists don't say things that are wrong to play on people's emotions and get funding.

"I agree and know she's wrong, but since these other people are also wrong, it's totally okay!"

....What?

No it's more like "I think she has some good points and "history lol" doesn't make them moot." - Just like several feminists have good points and you shouldn't discard those once they talk bullshit, either.

Naw, I honestly wouldn't follow a feminist who presented such a grossly distorted and self-serving view of history, either. Even if they made good points elsewhere. Not unless he or she acknowledge that they were wrong and apologized and tried to rectify it - which, to the best of my knowledge, girlwriteswhat never has.

I too am sympathetic to many "MRA" causes (though I remember when they were male feminist causes) like father's rights, paternity issues, the need for men's shelters, etc., but I can't find a single prominent figure within that movement that doesn't either a) lie about and distort their issues or b) spew misogynist vitriol on occasion. I wouldn't follow a feminist blog that did that, so I'm not going to follow any MRA that does... which, unfortunately, while you can find some feminists who don't, has been in my experience all MRAs. If you know of any exceptions feel free to make recommendations, but your list thus far includes only those guilty of a) or b) or both.

Die.

I think the comments to this kinda proved my point.

They do. Also, I agree with you.

Are you not able to handle people disagreeing with you?

Look, some of your points are good, and a lot of the issues that you care about and support are more than worthy of that support. But when you list off individuals who are known to hold sexist views and to spread misinformation as examples of "good" activism, then yes, people are going to side-eye you.

If someone has to resort to lying in order to make or prove a point, then it's not a good point, and that someone most likely has an ulterior motive. Furthermore, truly good fights can and should be won with facts, not with fabrications. This goes for feminism, men's rights, and any other movement.

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[ SECRET POST #2705 ]

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