fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2706 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2706 ⌋

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I just want to say something about starter homes, because a lot of people in my experience have done that kind of thing. Everyone I know that bought a 'starter home' didn't do it with a set-timeline, I MUST MOVE OUT IN EXACTLY 3 YEARS AND MAKE LOADS OF CASH mindset. That's a terrible reason to buy a house, because they're a shitload of work and not as solid an investment as they were 20 years ago. People buy starter homes because, like you and like me, they're young and single and don't need much more than two bedrooms but for whatever reason they don't want to do the apartment thing anymore. Over time, they add in things like significant others, or pets, or children, that makes their original home no longer suitable for their needs (not big enough, location doesn't work anymore, etc.)

The 'starter' home is the one that's perfect for you right now, but might not be perfect 20 years from now--but maybe it will be! In any case, don't let your mom pressure you into buying a house you aren't ready for or don't want just because she seems to think she knows better than you how your life trajectory should be going (spoilers: she doesn't, and she honestly sounds like she's got some pretty serious problems going on if she's trying to micromanage you like this). I can tell you right now I'm a lot happier in my medium-crappy one bedroom apartment than my brother is in his reasonably nice small home, but that's largely because I didn't find black mold growing behind my bathtub less than a month after moving in.

One thing I will suggest is that you stop in at the bank sooner rather than later, and tell them you're considering buying a home and that you would necessarily be applying for a loan, so would they kindly walk you through that process? I guarantee they will be clear and up-front about whether or not you will be able to qualify after reviewing your income and your expenditures (not a line-item, just seeing how your income flow would handle having a loan payment added.) Nothing would be binding until you physically signed the paperwork, and whether or not you could get a loan would definitely impact your decision, so get that checked out now. Also, that rent thing sounds sketch as hell--is there any way you could get housing assistance? I'm not clear on how that works but if you're finding all of the rents in the area are out of your range, that seems to be the kind of thing it's designed for.

Good luck, Anon!

My mom will readily admit she's a control freak and she's got a lot of stress in her own life right now so I guess maybe it makes her feel better if she thinks she has some control over me or something. I don't know, but I'm tired of dealing with it.

I've been pretty happy up until recently...I don't know why suddenly I'm letting everyone's opinions get to me like this. I don't own it but my apartment is nice and in an awesome area, while my brother's house isn't that nice and is in a not so great area, but he owns it (or like the other person pointed out, the bank does) so it's automatically better, despite the many issues he's had with it (no black mold, but he had some major plumbing problems, just recently had to get a new roof, and some other stuff that I can't remember right now). Or at least that's what (most of) my family has tried to convince me of--owning is automatically better than renting, no matter what the individual circumstances are.

The rent thing is definitely weird and kind of ridiculous but I'm hoping there might be some places that don't do it that way. I need to just check out some more apartments I guess, and it sounds like it might be a good idea to stop at a bank soon too.

Thank you!

[ SECRET POST #2706 ]

Re: Completely lost and confused and miserable right now

Re: Completely lost and confused and miserable right now