Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2014-06-02 06:46 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2014-06-02 06:46 pm
[ SECRET POST #2708 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2708 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
01.
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02.
[Degrassi Junior High/Degrassi High and Saved By The Bell]
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03.
[The Cinema Snob]
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04.
[Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty]
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05.
[Silicon Valley]
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06.
[Xavier Dolan]
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07.
[Pacific Rim]
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08.
[Sailor Moon]
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09.
[Iwan Rheon]
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10.
[Love Stage!!]
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11.
[The Losers (movie)]
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12.
[K-pop]
Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 052 secrets from Secret Submission Post #387.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
ok but "sexual attraction" actually has a scientific definition so that's not really up for debate. If you don't really mean "sexual attraction" but rather something else, you should clarify what it is that you mean.
with wanting to jump everything of the opposite gender in sight. (I also think this is an incorrect assumption/belief of how sexuality works, but it's reinforced culturally by the media kids consume, music videos, movies, like that.)
If you think that's what I meant when I said "hormones won", you're reading an awful lot into my comment that wasn't there. It simply means I was unable to control who I found attractive - who my mind, heart, and body responded to on a fundamental level. I was and am 100% capable of controlling how I chose to respond to that. And I have never behaved in that way nor do I think humans are doomed to be slaves to sexual urges or some bullshit, in fact I'm quite a proponent of the opposite view, that we're all quite capable of controlling ourselves.
I think people DO make that choice, in part because they buy into the "hormones override all rational thought" theory (which is, to put it politely, bogus), and with the cultural conditioning of "anything goes" these days, they follow up on whatever odd/stray thought may wander into their heads.
As clarified above, I don't buy into that theory either, and besides which it's not the point. The choice you seem to be talking about is the choice to act, not the choice to experience attraction.
The reference to Ezekiel is also beside the point. I'm not saying if God told you to do something because what He really wanted was for you to argue about it, but if He told you to do something and He meant it. In theory, what would you do?
no subject
(Anonymous) 2014-06-03 03:11 am (UTC)(link)Sorry, not your comment, but I have heard/seen this attitude/belief from others "in the wild" as it were.
It simply means I was unable to control who I found attractive - who my mind, heart, and body responded to on a fundamental level.
OK, that's fair, I certainly will not discount your experiences, and I'm not saying you need to be different. There are a lot of reasons (physical being pretty much the lowest rung of the ladder) that a relationship with someone (of the opposite sex -- before I get another anon coming in and saying "then you must have homosexual urges!!" again) is definitely off the table for me, for the foreseeable future. (Whether that will change, I don't know.)
So part of it is rational, "This won't help my situation at all right now," but the rational part of that overrides the attraction part at the fundamental level you mention, i.e., because that's not what I'm looking for, not what I need, nor even really want, right now, so that's not what occurs to me at all when I interact with the opposite sex.
The choice you seem to be talking about is the choice to act, not the choice to experience attraction.
I'm not talking about the choice to act. There is no choice to act on something that's not there. Which, at this point in my life, is not there by my choice. I.e., I am not looking for a relationship right now, which is my choice, and this choice informs my choice that I not size up members of the opposite sex as potential relationship material, so I approach them from a neutral standpoint. Which is not often the case, generally speaking.
The reference to Ezekiel is also beside the point. I'm not saying if God told you to do something because what He really wanted was for you to argue about it, but if He told you to do something and He meant it. In theory, what would you do?
In theory, I refer you back to the reference to Ezekiel. The God I believe in and trust in would allow, maybe even expect, me to argue about it. So, the reference is really not beside the point, as it illustrates my perspective.
And that's it for me. I need to get a couple hours sleep. Sorry if anything I said was offensive.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2014-06-03 04:26 am (UTC)(link)You have this personal experience of how things are, and because you have experienced it that way, you've decided that everyone else must experience that way. And if they don't, well...it's because they've chosen not to, and not because they're different from you.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2014-06-03 10:43 am (UTC)(link)Not sure if that is really what has happened with this anon, but it does come across like that.
(To add, I think we're all guilty of such assumptions at some point. Assuming all people feel/think the way we do.)
It does sound like the anon has never experienced a true conflict of having feelings for someone they think they shouldn't have feelings for. But then again, some people are more wired to follow their feelings, some are more rational and follow their head instead of their 'heart'.
no subject
Sounds like you're just not that interested right now, which is quite fair.
Which, at this point in my life, is not there by my choice. I.e., I am not looking for a relationship right now, which is my choice, and this choice informs my choice that I not size up members of the opposite sex as potential relationship material, so I approach them from a neutral standpoint.
It's great that you are able to rationally approach people the way you want to without feeling anything. It's also not that common. I'm not really looking for a relationship right now either, but if a guy looks cute to me I'm going to notice it. Doesn't mean I'm going to act or even mentally dwell on it, but I'll see it whether I want to or not. And from what I gather from talking to others this is a more common way of processing attraction.
In theory, I refer you back to the reference to Ezekiel. The God I believe in and trust in would allow, maybe even expect, me to argue about it. So, the reference is really not beside the point, as it illustrates my perspective.
This whole response is basically you saying "I don't want to answer the question you asked me, so I'll just give you a reason why I shouldn't have to". It's avoidance, though. I have a hard time taking your "attraction is a choice" seriously if you won't answer this fundamental question about the way you approach attraction.
And honestly, your whole comment gives me a vibe of "I'm straight and I've never had to struggle with this, and it's easier for me to just assume I'm doing it right and there's something wrong with teh gayz than wonder if some people are just naturally different". People don't just up and decide to be gay ffs.
no subject
no subject
(Anonymous) 2014-06-04 05:14 am (UTC)(link)no subject
no subject
(Anonymous) 2014-06-04 01:30 am (UTC)(link)Newsflash, kiddo, it doesn't matter how much your life changes, or whether-or-not you're ready for a relationship. You're never going to be able to 'choose' your way into being attracted to people. You may choose to date and procreate because it's what you think you're supposed to do, but no action in the world will make you straight.