fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2709 ]

[ SECRET POST #2709 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2709 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Everyone says not to describe your dreams, because your dreams are boring to people who aren't you. But I feel like I need an example to show the magnitude of the problem, so I'll use dividers for easy skippability:

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Last night, I dreamt about a group of astronauts, stranded without hope of recovery on a ruined world. It had been beautiful once, but the beings that had dwelled there had destroyed themselves in warfare, leaving behind decaying ruins, horrific monsters, and malevolent presences--not quite ghosts so much as imprints, echoes of past hatred. For lack of a better objective, the astronauts wandered in search of a safe place to stay, and one by one, they died in horrible ways.

The ones that stuck out to me were the last three survivors. In trying to flee from some particularly nasty monsters, a type that turn you into them with just one bite, they inadvertently found themselves herded into the ruin those monsters had come out of. The presence there was one of the strongest they'd seen, bound to a still-active weapon of mass destruction and desiring nothing more than to kill and kill and kill. But one of the astronauts was clever, and she rigged the weapon to destroy itself. That spirit was gone forever, finally laid to rest, and one of her last thoughts was that she'd made the world a little safer--maybe someday, others stranded here would be able to live in peace. Then one of the last surviving monsters bit her, and with less than a minute's hesitation, she stabbed herself in the throat rather than turn.

The last two could have survived in that ruined facility, its living quarters still intact after the destruction. But in the medical wing, there was a single bed with black curtains drawn over it, and one of them peeked into it, just by accident as a breeze stirred the curtains. Sitting on the bed were all the friends she'd lost, smiling and waiting for her.

The other told her it couldn't be real. He told her if she climbed into the bed, she'd die like everyone else, and it would probably be slow and painful. He told her they could survive on their own, though he didn't mention to what end. He loved her, and she loved him, and she almost promised him she'd stay with him.

They slipped into illusion so fast they didn't even realize it. The ruin was one gigantic house, big enough to live and play in. Seasons passed in the blink of an eye, allowing them to walk in the warm sun one minute and have a snowball fight the next. Of course, all their friends were there with them, though they never talked and all acted much alike. And underneath it all, the man knew on some level that the fantasy would eventually lead them to the black-curtained bed. He knew the woman would climb in, and he knew he never would, and he knew that without her, he'd have nothing left to do but find the least painful way to die.

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This is the kind of shit I go through every goddamn night. (And it's still less disturbing than the dream about the documentary crew in the haunted house, or the worms that acquire the memories of what they eat, or the little girl with beetles living in her flesh.) The really bad ones haunt me for hours after I wake up, and even the milder ones have made me dread going to sleep at night. I know my nightmares became much more frequent around last September, but I'm not sure what causes them, so I don't know how to stop having them. (The elements of the dreams are all from media I've consumed, but in many cases, they're things I watched or read years ago and didn't give a second thought to--the dream above has elements from a game I played once, a webcomic I read a few pages of, and an absurdist play I read a synopsis of.)

To get one suggestion out of the way, I don't think lucid dreaming would help me. Any time I realize I'm dreaming, regardless of the nature of the dream, I immediately start thinking that I need to wake up, and when I can't wake myself, I become terrified.

Edited 2014-06-03 23:25 (UTC)

I have those sometimes. They're my "story dreams" and I actually like them. I had some very elaborate sci-fi ones, and some odd ones where I was reincarnated. I rarely dream anymore,though, at least not remember it. And I vastly prefer them to my recurring nightmares which is basically me looking for/running from something in labyrinthine cities that never end.

I'd say write them down, polish them up, and make them into short stories.

That's where I got the story about the girl who gets eaten alive by alien worms. I never want to write anything like that again.

Have you tried any kind of calming rituals before going to bed like drinking warm milk or listening to soft music? Try thinking of pleasant things while falling asleep. Not sure how well those actually work, but it couldn't hurt.

Also, I wouldn't give up on lucid dreaming so easily. The other night, I had a dream that this guy was trying to kill me and I was having a hard time getting away. I realized I was dreaming so I told myself to wake up. It didn't work and the guy told me I wouldn't be able to wake up before he killed me. Since that didn't work, I decided to use the fact that I was dreaming and fly away. I flapped my arms and got away from him. You might not be able to wake yourself up, but you can use the dream to your advantage.

That's how lucid dreaming works for me. I doesn't happen often but I never think to try to wake up, I just change what's happening. Once I was being chased by two men and realized I didn't want them to catch me so I decided my friend's car was coming around the corner and I would jump in the car and we would drive away just in time. It's weird to me that it worked like that but it made total sense in the dream.

Is it an anxiety thing? Like, did you get more anxiety in your life around September or anything like that?

Cause a lot of the time when I have similar things like that, it's because of anxiety. Although, I guess, my dreams tend to be much more explicitly about anxiety (being endlessly chased by police forces from a tyrannical one-world government, pursued by an all-powerful criminal conspiracy, etc). Whereas the emotional tenor of yours seems to have more to do with dread, which is somewhat distinct from anxiety.

Still. Were there any major changes in your life around September?

I just try not to think about /remember my bad dreams in order to forget them. If I write about a dream, I'll remeber it for sure.

Get a therapist maybe? I don't have any experience but I heard they could be helpful. Just make sure to go to a clinical psychiatrist first to rule out any issue with chemical balance - that's what my friends who work in the field say.

Do you have mercury tooth fillings? Vitamin or mineral deficiency? Maybe you could try some Feng Shui and make some aroma in your bedroom. Smells are supposedly go straight to the Unconscious. Change bedsheets, so you'll have different tactile sensations, paint walls a calming green or blue, have a nightlight, have a light that makes stars on your ceiling? Fall asleep with music, nature sounds or TV-show, it could positively affect your unconscious. Go for a vacation for a few weeks. Just a few ideas here...

Also salt bathes, chamomile tea and some calming non-prescription drug might help.)

Anyway, good luck!

Do you write them down after you wake up? I don't know how to stop them, but I've had a lot of dreams in a similar vein and I've found it helps to write them down, including as much intricate detail as I can, then reading it over a couple times. It lessens the impact by making it more like a story so I can get on with my day, and the physical action of writing helps to ground me more in the waking world.

I know you mention lucid dreaming wouldn't help, but maybe the technique of analyzing dreams by their parts to try to understand the dreams could. After looking at my dreams through this lens I found mine are usually Context and Inner Awareness, and by coming to expect them I wasn't as alarmed by them when I was dreaming even if I don't realize I'm dreaming. If that makes any sense.

If you don't know them the parts are: Inner Awareness = strange or unusually powerful emotions and thoughts (ex. intensely angry or sad), Action = you, someone or something around you do something impossible IRL (ex. flying), Form = something's shape is strange or wrong in some way (ex. you're the opposite gender, your hamster has wings), Context = the place or situation is strange/foreign to RL (you're on an alien planet).

Are you on any psychiatric medication? While I was on Lexapro, I had crazy-vivid dreams like this fairly regularly. (It was for this and a few other reasons that I decided to manage my depression without it, after a year or so.)

The only other thing I can think of is melatonin, but when I checked it out on WebMD, one of the potential side effects listed is vivid dreams. But FWIW, my Dad (who is a terrible sleeper and prone to vivid dreaming, too) took melatonin for a while and found that it decreased his REM sleep cycle just a bit. That might work, although I don't think it's a long term solution.

In the meantime, much sympathy from me. That sounds really troubling. :(

This was going to be my comment.

What medications are you taking? One of the side effects of Effexor, for example, is very vivid dreaming.

Also, I'm really, really sorry. I hate dreaming. I almost never remember my dreams, and I like it that way. That six months I was on Effexor was like torture. being pregnant makes me dream bizarre dreams too. I do not like.

Medications or a change in medication can cause this. Other than that, what is your schedule like? Do you eat within a few hours before bed? Eating within a few hours before falling asleep can make nightmares worse. And, of course, anxiety can cause nightmares.

My suggestion would be to allow a few hours between the last time you ate and the time you fall asleep and also, as you're lying in bed waiting to fall asleep, tell yourself repeatedly that you will not have nightmares (and if you do that you will stop the nightmare.) It's difficult to gain control of your dreaming mind so it might take a while to train your brain.

Ideally, if you have anxiety, you might need to address that, too. If you're on a medication, you might want to talk to your doctor about it.

Wow, that is quite a dream! I can see why it stuck with you.

One thing I've heard that is supposed to help is to get up and get moving as soon as you can. Moving around gets you more awake and helps disperse the mood of your dream. Music might also be good, something upbeat and fast-paced.

Alternatively, keeping a dream journal and getting it all out of your head and onto the paper can be soothing. I sometimes find that when I write down something that's bothering me, I don't obsess over it as much.

This may sound ridiculous, but it worked for me.

I just sat and thought, over and over, No remembering dreams. I will not remember my dreams. I even resorted to lecturing my brain, as though it were a separate entity, "We will not remember the dreams when we wake up, okay? Not going to happen. What happens in sleep stays in sleep. No remembering dreams." Sort of self-hypnosis, I guess you could call it.

(I went with the No Remembering because you can't not dream without repercussions, and because the problem wasn't dreaming, the problem was the upset feelings from remembering them after I woke up.)

I no longer remember my dreams upon waking, so I don't spend half the morning fretting from the emotional hangover.

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[ SECRET POST #2709 ]

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