fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2728 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2728 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 069 secrets from Secret Submission Post #390.
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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I never feel anything for very long. Something amazing can happen to me and half an hour later I'll feel lonely and depressed because of something else that happened but was a much smaller deal. Not only do I wish I could feel good for longer, I also feel like a fraud, like even if something triggers me horribly it goes away too soon for it to count in some people's opinions. Sadness and that kind of thing is the only thing that seems to stick around.

Are you in an environment where chaos is the way things work? In a lot of situations, fluctuating emotions is safer than emotions that stay put, because if they stay put, that means being weighed down with them. And if you're in a situation where sitting still (emotionally) is seen as being a good target, well.....the brain will do whatever it can to make sure that you DON'T SIT STILL.

There's also a bit - you said that it won't count in some people's opinions. Is this maybe part of it? That you don't feel safe or like you have permission to feel some of these triggering things, so your brain shoves it onto the merry go round until the next time it whirls around?

That could be it. I was always yelled at as a kid for expressing emotion, and as a teenager I always lost all my friends because I was a drama queen. I tried to suppress my feelings all my life. Maybe I made it halfway and couldn't go on.

The mind is a pretty amazing thing in what it will do (without our permission, even) in order to survive. The problem becomes when that survival skill is no longer needed. The brain doesn't want to let it go.

There was another commenter who suggested professional help. Are you able to seek that? Secure an intake at a low income clinic, perhaps?

I have sorta the same problem as you do. Too many feels. Too strong feels. I have a diagnosis and am in active treatment, but somedays - somedays it is still hard. But it's not as hard as it used to be. That's okay.

If this has been happening longer than a month, it is something you should talk to a professional about. They will either be able to help you pinpoint the source of your emotions or help you control them medically. Being in a down mood all the time is not a normal thing; find someone in your area and make an appointment.

I almost laughed at this because of the "longer than a month" part. It's been fifteen years. I see professionals, which is why I'm still around, but they can only ease it, they can't cure it.

I have struggled with depression so I understand what you mean. I hope things get better for you.

The best advice I can give is to do everything you can to surround yourself with positivity, and to continue to talk to a doctor about it (assuming you've went to a doctor for depression). Perhaps there's something you could try that would help that they haven't done yet? I know a lot of folks don't like that optimistic and positivity stuff, but for me it's what keeps me going and helps me. Good luck.

[ SECRET POST #2728 ]

I wish my moods would stay put.

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Re: I wish my moods would stay put.

Re: I wish my moods would stay put.

Re: I wish my moods would stay put.

Re: I wish my moods would stay put.

Re: I wish my moods would stay put.