[ SECRET POST #2731 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2731 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 033 secrets from Secret Submission Post #390.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[herpymcderp]

idk about this. I know nothing at all about this series, but it is admittedly a bit man-painy to have the death of a family member/girlfriend/lover be written into something just to allow a male character to show emotion and be super angsty and broody.

That's pretty much the definition of man pain.

[(Anonymous)]

yes.

[(Anonymous)]

Nah, it isn't like that in the show in the secret. He loses his son in that his son falls through a portal into another world, and basically the entire show happens because he's trying to get his son back, so it's not at all written in just to give him angst.

[(Anonymous)]

That's like saying Marlin went through manpain after losing Nemo.

[herpymcderp]

I'll have to take your word for it.

[(Anonymous)]

In the meantime, gonna make some snap judgments!!!

[scrubber]

I know this isn't quite the definition, but I always figured that in order for that phrase to have any real purpose the pain the male character feels must have some kind of implicit assumption that the pain he feels can only be appreciated/understood by a man. That the trauma is in some way an affront to his masculinity. You're taking the tragedy of a female's life and making it all about how the male character has been taken down a peg as A Man, and now needs to avenge his manhood and surely all the guys in the audience can understand that right? That's fucked up.

If you're just laughing at "manpain" when it's something ANYONE would be upset over you're an idiot.

[ketita]

Yeah, this is what I thought.
There's also an issue of saturation, imo. Like after the Nth guy who is broken after losing mother/wife/daughter, you get a bit annoyed, because like you said, it's often alongside an implication that a Real Man wouldn't 'let' this happen. But it would actually be a legitimate storyline if not for the way it's overused/presented. Theoretically there's nothing wrong with telling the story of a person who lost someone they love, it's how it's done that's the issue.

[herpymcderp]

Well it's more than that.

It also has to do with the things you're "allowed" to feel emotional pain over if you happen to be male- international sociocultural differences aside. It's misogynist at best and blanket sexist at worst; it takes the idea that men can only identify with emotional pain in certain special circumstances to the logical extreme, which is that Real Men(tm) only feel pain in those circumstances. Anything other than that and you must be a hysterical woman who gets emotional over anything.

Real Men(tm) can only cry and feel sad if someone they love dies/might be dead or they just got their dick cut off, essentially. Anything else and your gender performance is incorrect, you are not a Real Man(tm) etc.

What you said also factors into it, and it is indeed fucked up, but superficially it does kind of fall into that category of things men are allowed to cry about, and on the outside that sure looks like they wrote it in to be able to give some manpain.

[(Anonymous)]

It's even worse. His son wasn't killed for manpain. His son was killed for the sake of a ship.

[(Anonymous)]

So what do you call it when a show does the exact same thing, only to a female character? Is that womanpain, then? (Like when Buffy's mother died.)

[(Anonymous)]

No, they call it 'good realistic writing'.

[herpymcderp]

You don't call it anything. Women are allowed to have emotions about anything they like, men aren't.