[ SECRET POST #2731 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2731 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 033 secrets from Secret Submission Post #390.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I absolutely agree, but the problem is: how do you start a dialogue with the trans community? There's a vocal group that hates cis people for just existing and actually wishes them death or for all of them to turn trans and see the light. If you (politely, of course) ask them explanations on why they think certain things so you can understand their point of view, they pile on you and scream that they don't have to explain themselves to you cis scum. In some fandoms, as the secret OP is pointing out, you just can't even have opinions that a character is not trans without being eaten alive!

As a sidenote, I'm a cis woman who previously thought to be trans until I realized that I don't have to feel like I'm in the wrong body for not following the sexist stereotypes of what a woman should be and that actually fuck everyone else, I am fine as I am and I won't let anyone tell me that I'm not. The thing is, I am worried by the "trend" of tumblr trans people because I think that there's a good part of them who had my same problem and just don't realize it. I'm not going to proselitize to them, of course, and my experience is not everyone's experience and my personal conclusions are not everyone else's personal conclusions, but some of these people remind me so much of how I was like back then and I really would like to know more about their own views to better understand them. I try to be as polite and careful as possible, and I know I might be doing things horribly wrong because of the starting perspective I am coming from and I put every disclaimer ever, but if I try to establish any dialogue with these people at all I get "die cis scum". And I mean, I absolutely understand that there's hate and anger at how they're treated, and I know that nobody has to be the ambassador of anything, but it feels like they WANT to have an abstract enemy to hate on and to establish their own closed group, how is someone who just means well and wants to know more about the issue even going to educate themselves or discuss the subject with someone who knows more without being told that they should just die?

Sorry about the tl;dr. Anyway, my question is 100% honest: how do you start a dialogue?

[(Anonymous)]

just dropping by to say i agree with you about how tumblr can get people to think certain things

i thought i was asexual for a little while (before i realized that i was actually bi but i just had a shit ton of issues to work through!). and i think a lot of people who identify as ace on tumblr probably aren't.

[(Anonymous)]

lol me too

though it was a forum in my case

[(Anonymous)]

And I am thirty years old and thought I was bisexual for a long while, before I realized I was actually asexual but had been dismissing my asexuality as "just issues," thanks in part to attitudes like yours.

[(Anonymous)]

Idk. If you could figure out you weren't trans, why couldn't anyone else? Seems like you were in generally the same echo chamber and yet you figured it out yourself regardless.

People get mad because trans people are... pretty used to being told by cis people that it's just a phase. I mean... yeah, sometimes it is. But there's nothing wrong with going through a phase like this either. The vast, vast majority of people in that situation end up like you. And when everyone around you is already telling you they know better than you do, that you're wrong, and you're dealing with the sheer amount of hate towards trans people (mostly trans women) is embedded into our culture, well... I understand why people fly off the handle like that. It sucks when you mean well, but... I understand why you'd get yelled at. To them you're just another cis person who thinks they know better to add to the pile.

Honestly, I generally am willing to talk as long as I think people have decent intentions, but at this point I don't even know what the dialogue you want to have is. Doesn't seem like it's entirely about fandom anymore from your post, haha.