fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2731 ]

[ SECRET POST #2731 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2731 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 033 secrets from Secret Submission Post #390.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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See now, I think the reason that characters who are less than 100% gender-conforming attract a large amount of trans headcanons is because a lot of trans and nonbinary people on Tumblr started out that way before coming to the epiphany that they were trans, and see a lot of traits of themselves reflected in those characters. They're drawing upon their own personal experiences, not stereotypes, because they want to see people like them in media.

Of course, cis people who don't conform to gender roles (especially butch women) are going to perceive that as taking away from THEIR scant representation, and they're justified in doing so. Unless we actually start a dialogue about it, cis people who don't conform to gender roles and trans/nonbinary people are always going to be stepping on each other's toes and perceiving the other as erasing them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Pssst: That's because most "trans" people on Tumblr are just cis girls who decided that not liking to wear skirts or play with Barbie dolls obviously makes them genderqueer. Most of them openly admit to not even having gender dysphoria. They literally choose to identify as trans. Those people belittle real trans people.

Trans culture" on Tumblr is a joke.

I hope you know how disgusting you are.

At least I'm less disgusting than the tumblr trans community.

Go cry about it to your bunself friends on Tumblr.

It's fucking true though. So many transtrenders out there on Tumblr.

Son, check out the horrific trainwreck that's the truscum tag. It proves anon right.

Dude, I literally saw a text post with a couple dozen notes that said "I don't take transtrender as an insult because being trans SHOULD be trendy."

I know that's one person and doesn't invalidate everybody who is gender variant, but to me, if you go around saying or supporting shit like that, you're trying on something people literally get killed over and making it like the latest Hot Topic t-shirt and you should be set on fire repeatedly.

Pretty sure every culture on Tumblr is a joke.

I'm more disturbed by the way Tumblr encourages completely insane things like otherkins, multiple systems, and godspousery. 99% of Tumblr is so fucking suggestible that it's creating new mental problems in the weak minded. You're not cool unless you've made up some completely imaginary defect to gain attention.

And yeah, I agree that there is probably a good deal of people on Tumblr who are self identifying as all kinds of things just so they can fit in with Tumblr's ideal--introverted non cisgendered asexual autistic (at least this week--next week it will be pansexual dragon otherkin with OCD)--even though in reality they are straight girls kissing their One Direction posters every night. It's how teenagers (and now twentysomethings who haven't started living in the real world)do things. It's how they've always done things. Now they just have to keep up with their generation's insistence on having at least 15 labels attached to their identity. Some are real labels and some are such fucking bullshit that I want to Baker Act the whole damned website some nights.

If you truly believe you are transdragon or transethnic or that you are married to Loki or Sigyn, than you need meds and a good psychiatrist. It completely devalues people who are having real sexual identity issues.

And don't get me started on the assholes who insist they have a disability because they self diagnosed themselves with autism. I teach autistic kids once a week and it pains me to see morons cheapen these kids' struggles by trying to write off their own social shortcomings by claiming they are autistic.

what's multiple systems and godspousery?

Multiple systems: Basically people who have 'headmates' or alternate identities/personalities inside their head. Some of them are 'original characters' but others are various anime/comic/etc characters. So basically having imaginary friends but they insist all of these personalities are totes real! And no, they don't have multiple personality disorder.

Godspouses: Basically being in a relationship with a god - usually a headmate. Loki is very popular.

Da

Multiple systems sounds fucking hilarious. Omg, I gotta check this shit out. Any links?

(no subject)

mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com - 2014-06-26 12:54 (UTC) - Expand

Dear God, please find new work because with the bile you have for young people trying to figure themselves out, you should not be teaching any kids, or anyone for that matter, autistic or not.

God forbid delusional people not be coddled.

There's a difference between young people trying to figure themselves out and young people trying to outdo each other in the special snowflake Olympics. The first should be encouraged, the second should be stopped.

I'm not going to say that trans culture on tumblr isn't kind of bad because yeah, it's mostly kids who are (understandably) angry and don't really know what to do with that anger. They're generally not focused and pretty impotent and can act really stupid sometimes.

But really -- you're putting the scum in truscum here, friend. Let people go through their own shit in life and figure themselves out. It's not your responsibility to say who is and isn't trans. I know it sucks when people tell us we're all crazy because of the less than one percent who do detransition or because of some of the super out there stuff from tumblr, but really, you're aiming at the wrong targets here. If you're worried about them making us "look bad", you should be mad at people who choose to point at them to invalidate us instead. It's good for people to explore like this, and well -- the fact that so few people actually DO detransition tells me, at least, that most people who aren't trans and toy with the identity can figure that out for themselves. I know some people are pretty out there, but it's not hard to just roll your eyes and leave things well enough alone. They're just trying to figure themselves out.

NAYRT

I've often considered this, actually. But I think the problem isn't the fact they are trying to figure themselves out and inventing new labels to do it, in itself there's not a problem with that.

It's more that along the way, they spread so much hatred (against truscum and cishets mostly), in their culture bullying and telling people to go kill themselves (sometimes just over existing) is a normal, accepted thing. That is what makes this Tumblr thing so poisonous, and dangerous.

AYRT

I don't disagree. But like I said, they're misguided kids who are really angry (I know and understand the feelings this is coming from, and I am absolutely sympathetic to it) and don't know what to do with it, and tumblr is an echo chamber. It's not so much an issue with tumblr trans culture, but with people in their early/mid teens in general, with tumblr exacerbating it.

I will go ahead and just say if my comment before didn't make it clear, I pretty much have zero respect for truscum ideology. It's not anyone's responsibility to decide who is and isn't trans -- but most importantly, it supports the existing gatekeeping structures which still DO harm actual trans people, and that kind of makes it super misguided at best and just straight up destructive at worst. So while there are totally cishet people who are great and have done nothing to harm any of us, truscum ARE harmful, period. Nobody deserves to be told to kill themselves or anything like that at all, but they're not doing anyone any good either. I could say more but that's the most important part.

I don't know why I'm even putting so much effort into this conversation though because I'm defending trans culture and, even though it is my community, I kind of think it's broken anyways (Tumblr too!). Just... not for these reasons.

I literally had a friend who just 'tried it out' for a bit (like a couple months) because 'boys are better', then moved past it and 'got over it' and sometimes it honest to God comes across to me as internalized misogyny more than anything.

I've seen the real deal, and no it doesn't always involve wanting to have complete surgery but it's really intense and can be super hard on these people, and they do wanna change themselves and how the world sees them so they feel like themselves. I've seen someone lose their parents because of it. So seeing it trivialized as, oh, I always wished I was a dude too, just kinda irks me

*disclaimer I am a cis white girl, my opinion on this stuff doesn't really matter as I don't go through it, it's just my experiences in seeing it

So's the SJW on tumblr for the same reason. Whiney, teenaged privilaged brats, who don't do anything but whine about SJW causes and drive people to suicide because somebody is doing something they and their little tumblr hivemind find to be wrong.

I absolutely agree, but the problem is: how do you start a dialogue with the trans community? There's a vocal group that hates cis people for just existing and actually wishes them death or for all of them to turn trans and see the light. If you (politely, of course) ask them explanations on why they think certain things so you can understand their point of view, they pile on you and scream that they don't have to explain themselves to you cis scum. In some fandoms, as the secret OP is pointing out, you just can't even have opinions that a character is not trans without being eaten alive!

As a sidenote, I'm a cis woman who previously thought to be trans until I realized that I don't have to feel like I'm in the wrong body for not following the sexist stereotypes of what a woman should be and that actually fuck everyone else, I am fine as I am and I won't let anyone tell me that I'm not. The thing is, I am worried by the "trend" of tumblr trans people because I think that there's a good part of them who had my same problem and just don't realize it. I'm not going to proselitize to them, of course, and my experience is not everyone's experience and my personal conclusions are not everyone else's personal conclusions, but some of these people remind me so much of how I was like back then and I really would like to know more about their own views to better understand them. I try to be as polite and careful as possible, and I know I might be doing things horribly wrong because of the starting perspective I am coming from and I put every disclaimer ever, but if I try to establish any dialogue with these people at all I get "die cis scum". And I mean, I absolutely understand that there's hate and anger at how they're treated, and I know that nobody has to be the ambassador of anything, but it feels like they WANT to have an abstract enemy to hate on and to establish their own closed group, how is someone who just means well and wants to know more about the issue even going to educate themselves or discuss the subject with someone who knows more without being told that they should just die?

Sorry about the tl;dr. Anyway, my question is 100% honest: how do you start a dialogue?

just dropping by to say i agree with you about how tumblr can get people to think certain things

i thought i was asexual for a little while (before i realized that i was actually bi but i just had a shit ton of issues to work through!). and i think a lot of people who identify as ace on tumblr probably aren't.

lol me too

though it was a forum in my case

And I am thirty years old and thought I was bisexual for a long while, before I realized I was actually asexual but had been dismissing my asexuality as "just issues," thanks in part to attitudes like yours.

Idk. If you could figure out you weren't trans, why couldn't anyone else? Seems like you were in generally the same echo chamber and yet you figured it out yourself regardless.

People get mad because trans people are... pretty used to being told by cis people that it's just a phase. I mean... yeah, sometimes it is. But there's nothing wrong with going through a phase like this either. The vast, vast majority of people in that situation end up like you. And when everyone around you is already telling you they know better than you do, that you're wrong, and you're dealing with the sheer amount of hate towards trans people (mostly trans women) is embedded into our culture, well... I understand why people fly off the handle like that. It sucks when you mean well, but... I understand why you'd get yelled at. To them you're just another cis person who thinks they know better to add to the pile.

Honestly, I generally am willing to talk as long as I think people have decent intentions, but at this point I don't even know what the dialogue you want to have is. Doesn't seem like it's entirely about fandom anymore from your post, haha.

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