fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2738 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2738 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Wizards vs. Aliens]

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03.

[Hayao Miyazaki]

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04.

[Dragon Age Inquisition]

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05.

[Sarah Michelle Gellar and Lena Horne]

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06.

[Girl Genius]

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07.

[Dark Souls]

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08.

[TRON: Legacy]

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09.

[Phantom of the Opera]

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10.

[Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas]

Notes:

Big thunderstorm here, hoping the power stays up. Early to be safe!

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 031 secrets from Secret Submission Post #391.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well... the problem is that it's both those things. It's a shitty (and also weird) thing for your mother to ask you because it's emotionally manipulative. If your sister/niece/nephew can't afford to pay for their own trip but still want to keep in touch, there are other ways to do that that don't cost anyone $500. Skype. E-mail. Phone calls. Hell, letters, probably the most bang for your buck.

On the other hand, you gave in and I'm guessing your mother probably knew you would. $500 got her off your back, but only temporarily because now she knows that with enough nagging, she can get $500 out of you even when you can't afford it. Giving into guilt or other peoples' bad behavior is a tempting short term solution, but it's a terrible longterm solution because every time you give in makes the other person more determined. If and when you finally say NO, the other person will have allllll those times you gave in to back them up as a "justification" for why you're the unreasonable one for not giving them what they want.

Learn to say no. Feel free to express regret, "I'm sorry I won't be able to see them because I miss them a lot, but no, I can't." DO NOT OFFER REASONS WHY YOU CAN'T. Reasons just give the other person more chance to argue you out of those reasons. Say no, can't do it. No, that won't work for me right now. No, it's not possible. No. No. No. Repeat as many times as needed and remove yourself from the conversation if you can.

This is probably the best thing to do in the future. It might feel bad turning your family down, but you don't owe them this and if they can't pay for the trip themselves they shouldn't have made plans. (Especially since you don't sound like you're in a good place to be paying for it, and it might make things more difficult for you.) Sorry, OP. Family are SO good at manipulation.

[ SECRET POST #2738 ]

Re: Rant I guess. Advice maybe.

Re: Rant I guess. Advice maybe.