[ SECRET POST #2741 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2741 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 112 secrets from Secret Submission Post #392.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

14. http://i.imgur.com/96ECYUc.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

...Are people saying anything else? I assumed this was blatantly obvious.

[escriboconundedo]

this secret just sounds like a whole lot of 'the pope is catholic' and 'bears shit in the woods.'

[(Anonymous)]

Echoing the other anons when I say "duh." Pretty people sell, it's a thing.

[rubbertea]

well of course. i love them as characters but bombur/oin smut just isn't very appealing to me. dwalin/nori on the other hand...

[(Anonymous)]

Thorin is hot, would do. Dwalin is hot, would definitely do. Nori for sure! Eh, Fili can come too. For me personally it's not about pretty but more to do with how old some of the dwarves are. I love Ballin', I mean Balin, but he's so tiny and old I don't want to think of him being pounded from behind.

[(Anonymous)]

why he have to be pounded from behind? Or why he have to be pounded at all? Can he not do the pounding? Are the old ones not allowed this privilege?

[(Anonymous)]

And why would he have to 'pound'? Dwarves are good with their hands...

[(Anonymous)]

"...but he's so tiny and old I don't want to think of him being pounded from behind."

I cannot stop giggling, anon. CAN'T. STOP.

[(Anonymous)]

... So?
I don't get why it's objectionable that many people find the more human-looking dwarves more attractive. We are, after all, humans.

[ariakas]

And there wouldn't have been nearly as much fanboying of the Asari if they weren't conventionally attractive, human-looking space babes. So what? Why is this a secret? Everyone knows this already.

[nightscale]

Well yes, this is case with most media.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I thought this was a given, too. I agree with you, though!

[(Anonymous)]

Yep.

That was a warning sign for me, when I first saw the designs. Gotta make the side characters more exaggerated so they can be more comedic, and the main characters more human so they're more relatable. Blech.

[(Anonymous)]

But then... so what? Why do we assume Tolkien Dwarves couldn't be hot? Short, stout, hairy, and hardy, sure, but anything here about them not being capable of possessing fine eyes and excellent bone structure? Since most of the writing has some kind of slant favoring some other race, it's not like we're ever really given a detailed physical description of any dwarf anyway -- as opposed to the many, many words devoted to the fair looks of Elves and Men and whatnot. Bring on the hot dwarves, I say.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, it's not like the elves weren't all attractive, as were some of the Men. I'm all good with dwarves getting a chance in the hotness spotlight.

Uhhhm yes?

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah? So what? Of course I find Thorin and Kili sexier than the rest of the dwarves. No one is into huge noses, ears or terrible hair. Isn't this kind of obvious?!

Re: Uhhhm yes?

[(Anonymous)]

Actually, Thorin and Kili are among my least favourite looks-wise (though Thorin's hair is admittedly glorious, with the grey-streaked crinkly waves). My favs are Fili and Nori, for reasons of a) swagger, b) bounce and c) braids in interesting places (by which I mean eyebrows and mustaches, not anything else, although you do wonder ...).

I'll also give worthy mentions to Bofur (adorable), Bifur (grey-streaked, wild-eyed, with a fantastic weapon), and Dori (the silver-and-white braiding is awesome, plus he could probably break Dwalin). Dwalin himself is a bit biker for my tastes (nothing wrong with bikers, just not my style), Ori looks like a monk and I'd feel guilty. The others I admit I wasn't paying as much attention to, although I love Oin's awesome metal staff thing. That doesn't have much to do with his looks, though.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh boy, here we go again. Didn't we have the same wank when the Lord of the Rings movies were out?

[(Anonymous)]

herp a derp fangirls are shallow stop liking things for the "wrong reasons" it's ruining muh deep series how dare women find attractive men attractive I would never do that for any series ever hurr derp a doo.

No one cares, OP.

Yeah, shocking that they cast attractive people for key roles.

[(Anonymous)]

Why would they do that? It's not like it works or anything.

The reality is that attractiveness sells - if an actor isn't pretty, they had better be talented as hell, charismatic as hell, or not pretty in a very interesting way.

Re: Yeah, shocking that they cast attractive people for key roles.

[(Anonymous)]

This isn't about the underlying attractiveness of the actors -- it's about how many prosthetics were glued onto their faces to make them look more dwarfy.

OP here

[(Anonymous)]

OP here. THANK you. Everyone here is like "well, duh, looks sell, people like attractive people" and is kind of missing the point? Maybe my secret wasn't worded the best way but I meant to say Jackson and team kept REMOVING Armitage's dwarf prosthetics and Kili's bloated forehead and real beard till they looked more like themselves than dwarves, but tried to make to make it sound like it was because dwarves had different looks (even Armitage said this in an interview), just like the race of Men, blah blah, when clearly everyone else BESIDES the Durins looks very dwarvish while the Durins look like short good-looking Men. PJ & crew don't want to admit making the three mains look like random unappealing dwarves would have hurt the box office. ;) And put a stop to a lot of fangirl attention.

So much for squeeing and fangirling over dwarves and their culture and lore and whatnot, when the fandom's fuelled the most by the three dwarves that don't look like dwarves anyway. I find that interesting.

Re: OP here

[(Anonymous)]

That happens, though, in many movies where they want to see the actor (because of the recognition, because of the attractiveness, etc.), it happens in monster movies (they rarely go for the grotesque vampire, werewolves don't spend much time fully transformed, etc.), in superhero movies (if they have a mask or helmet, they are rarely in it), hell it happens with things like beards sometimes (instead of using a beard as a disguise in The Fugitive, they have him with a beard to begin with so that he's clean shaven through most of the movie). But, yes, it's a little disingenuous for the production team to say that it's for character reasons.

[(Anonymous)]

Hey fuck you, Bombur could get it from me