fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2753 ]

[ SECRET POST #2753 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2753 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 016 secrets from Secret Submission Post #393.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
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Your second one. ARGH.

Also, the "ugly guy, hot wife" thing. I don't mind it in older comedies, but newer things really ought to have caught on how overdone and sexist it is.

I haaaaaaate that cliche. Because it's not just about looks, it's also usually an immature man child who cannot get his shit together, yet he still warrants a hot wife who does have her shit together. Ugh, no.

That one really bugs me. One thing that really surprised me about Raising Hope was that Burt (Jimmy's dad) actually looks hotter than his wife (not that she's ugly or even unattractive or anything, but imo Burt's actor is noticeably more attractive)

The ugly (and immature) guy and hot wife annoys me because it seems to assume that no matter how unattractive (in appearance and/or personality) a man is, he is entitled to an attractive woman without the same flaws he has. Like a thin, physically attractive, supportive, reasonably mature/"has her shit together" woman is among the bare minimum of things a man deserves.

I also kind of wish someone would invert it just once, and have an unattractive woman with a hot guy portrayed the same way.

I know. It'd probably never happen because people (okay, mostly guys) would be all in an uproar about how unrealistic it was to have the female equivalent of Homer Simpson or that King of Queens guy married to a male model who also happens to be a high powered attorney, etc. etc.

The sad thing is, they'd almost have a point because when you see mismatched couples in real life, it's usually the immature/ugly guy and hot woman, not the other way around.

Usually because IRL that guy's loaded, though (or his parents are). Yet he's never rich in the sitcoms.

Yeah, sometimes it's the attraction of power/money, but other times... well, it's more about women who for one reason or another, settle for less. One of my friends is married to an irritating schlub of a man who does NO housework, doesn't help with their children OR spend time with them, and frequently belittles her hobbies and interests. Oh, and he's got major jealousy issues, too. He's not rich, nor is he good looking. My friend has poor self-esteem, and he's successfully brainwashed her into thinking this is normal.

So basically, he's that sitcom guy who spends all his time at home sitting in front of the TV or playing with his high-end electronics, only there's no jokes because he also has no sense of humor unless it involves denigrating other people and chuckling about the "joke" he made.

I also kind of wish someone would invert it just once, and have an unattractive woman with a hot guy portrayed the same way.

I'd love it to just be common place. And neither party is using the other for some ulterior motive. The only example I can think of is Hairspray.

No, what really gets me is people pretending that this is sexist

...against men.

"Men are always portrayed as slobs and stupid and women are always hot and right!"

Yeah, whose fantasy do you think that's supposed to be representing? Women, don't we all want to be gorgeous, successful, and intelligent and also married to a fat, ugly, stupid slob? Just to have the intoxicating chance to always be RIGHT in the arguments? Ha ha ha that's true, it IS what all women want!

Surely the fantasy being presented is not being as slovenly and unkempt and low-league as you can get and still land a hot, successful, smart wife with zero effort except occasionally showing her a small bit of affection when your shit gets to be too much?

Oh, but since she's a shrill nag (just like all ladies want to be!) she's clearly in his league.

It's insulting to both genders, in different ways. I'd definitely agree that women get the short of the end stick more than men, though. Sitcoms with that cliche just reinforce the real life belief a lot of MRA types have that even though they're physically unimpressive losers, somewhere out there is a Victoria's Secret model who's just dying to pick their underwear off the bathroom floor, raise their kids and make nachos for their Game of Thrones marathon.

"Men are always portrayed as slobs and stupid and women are always hot and right!"

The people who say things like that are dumb, in a depressingly average kind of way.

True. Most things that pander to a specific gender are insulting to both in some way.

I'm particularly frustrated with this because I've seen the sentiment that sitcoms are some how a FEMALE fantasy said fairly often.

Yeah, that's delusional, but I've heard it as well. Mostly from idiotic MRA types who probably think that comic book heroes with pecs bigger than their heads is also a female fantasy.

Oh man, so agreed on that one. The 'ugly' dude is usually an asshole as well so it's just baffling that anyone would put up his shit.

THIS. Pick almost any sitcom, and the guy will be not-hot (usually a bit funny looking and certainly not conventionally sexy) but his wife (usually housewife, I might add) is super hot. I'd love to see this reversed - a super hot, stay-at-home dad with a frumpy looking wife.

I've seen homely man/hot wife in real life, and it seemed like a happy marriage. Of course, what he lacked in looks he made up in charm and charisma. I could totally see why she'd married him. To this day, that man is one of the hottest men that I've ever met.

Yeah, I have no problem with a homely guy/hot wife couple, just with the pattern where this happens all the time and yet the inverse basically never happens.

As an isolated incident, it's a wonderful way to show that beauty is only skin deep. But the pattern of how it actually happens in media seems to imply beauty is skin deep only for men. And when the guy has a massive amount of personality flaws as well....it just screams lazy entitled overdone wish-fulfillment.

There've been plenty of secrets on this site about homely girl/hot guy pairings. (Some musician and his wife? That sitcom where the head writer was also the chunky protagonist with the supposedly handsome almost/maybe boyfriend?)

There are t.v. series. (Some high school thingy? Possibly involving the words "mad fat diary." I'd be more specific but I never watched it... but I remember that the chunky teenager got other roles out of it.)

There's those movies by that actress who plays Tammy.

It's in anime/manga - Wallflower and Fruits Basket both come immediately to mind. (Although Tohru isn't ugly, she's just average/pretty when she smiles and everyone else is supposedly ridiculously gorgeous.)

It's a staple in romance novels, modern vampire fiction, urban fantasy, whatever the hell books like Twilight are considered, and their various ilks in which the (invariably) chubby, clumsy, plain girl gets the hot, fit, athletic (bad) boy... who might possibly suck blood.

Every Phantom of the Opera re-write (or Phantom character ripped off, re-named, and shoe-horned into other books/media) where the Phantom, rather than Raoul, gets the ~~vapid~~ hot girl is the embodiment of the homely guy/hot girl trope.

And for what it's worth, I've seen it in real life too.

You dislike a particular trope, and that's fine. But it's a stretch to say that it never happens the other way around. It's common both ways. It just depends where you're looking.

Personally, the only problem I have with either version of the trope is when it's:

a.) The hot person has to be vapid, cruel, and/or unrelentingly obsessed with looks/weight, or
b.) handled like it is in the Big Bang Theory where having the hot person/Penny as a romantic partner and getting to have sex with him/her (as Leonard announces every. single. episode.) is treated like winning a trophy and showing it off (obnoxiously and at length), reducing Penny/the love interest - and his/her hotness - from an independent person to a badge of worthiness and general coolness/social acceptability.

But that's a matter of being badly done, and everything can be (and probably has been) badly done by someone.

EDIT: And Fleur/Bill! (Who I love and thus must be added as a postscript.)

Edited 2014-07-18 05:19 (UTC)

DA I think the point is proven by the fact that you struggled to remember the names of the media where the slobby man/hot wife trope is reversed. If you were posed to name specific media where the slobby man/hot wife trope is present you'd probably be able to easily name at least 3 fairly quickly because most people can. The reverse you really have to think about it and even then most of the time the girl is just "average" looking (although the actress is considered to be conventionally hot).

Those top three aren't in genres that I'm interested in. (And, while I certainly watch television, I don't watch enough to be familiar with All of The Shows.)

The anime/manga and literary ones - Wallflower, Fruits Basket, Twilight, Phantom of the Opera, HP to hit your "at least three" requirement - came easily enough. And I'm certainly familiar enough with urban fantasy to easily name another three besides. (I, er, really like books. And I certainly read more than I watch.)

If the book says she's short, overweight, and plain and the book came first, then she's short, overweight, and plain by my count, regardless of who gets cast to play her.

Honestly, I cannot think of many actors or actresses that I would truly call ugly.

But I can think of a few pairs where the attractiveness skews much more heavily towards the male in a male/female pairing - Jo/Zane (Eureka), Arthur/Gwen (Merlin), Olivia/Peter (Fringe), and Miranda/Ben (Grey's Anatomy).

Of course, I'm absolutely sure there are people out there who won't agree with me (and none of the women would be anything near ugly, just sort of more on the plain or average side and I also feel kind of bad for judging levels of attractiveness).

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[ SECRET POST #2753 ]

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I think part of the issue might be that attractiveness really is subjective.