case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2014-07-20 04:06 pm

[ SECRET POST #2756 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2756 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 076 secrets from Secret Submission Post #394.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 3 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 - not!secrets (random images from what appears to be one spammy anon) ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: Genderswap and abusive ships

(Anonymous) 2014-07-21 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
look wow im not gonna write you a ship manifesto for a fandomsecret thread

you and your boyfriend have a dynamic. it sounds healthy and lovely and cool. your steve/tony and clint/natasha also have dynamics that sound healthy and lovely and cool. none of them are like the ship i'm talking about and it's not relevant at all to compare them?

like the ship is a healthy ship BECAUSE they are equals, since they are equals there are things that are acceptable to do and lines that are further down, than if there was a power imbalance to start with. when you change the gender of one of them it adds an imbalance that wasnt there and obviously if you kept equal-dynamics while adding that imbalance, something goes off and can be perceived as unhealthy and abusive and possibly could be

idk how that's so hard
nyxelestia: Rose Icon (Default)

Re: Genderswap and abusive ships

[personal profile] nyxelestia 2014-07-21 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
Being equal doesn't automatically a healthy ship make. You can have absolute equals and still have a very unhealthy relationship. A relationship that's healthy "because" they are equals makes no sense.

And as I've mentioned upthread, every argument I've made here has been specifically about the actual state of the relationships, now how others perceive a relationship. That's a different can of worms altogether, and one that I'm just ignoring when we are discussing these ships predominantly in cultural contexts that regularly dismiss female-on-male rape and abuse.

I think you and I may be operating on very different definitions of things like "lines", "limits", and "dynamics". Because if we have two sets of partners who physically push each other to their limits and beyond, who rough house in a safe and consensual manner, and who affectionately mock each other all the while, then I don't see a difference in dynamic between the one where they are equals and the one where they are very different in size/capability.

If that kind of relationship is healthy because they're equals, then that implies you are pushing your partner to your limit, not their limit, and that's disrespectful and unhealthy anyway. If you are actually pushing your partner to their limit and not yours, then it won't matter what their limit actually is in relation to yours.